Sorry in advance because this may be long, it probably is petty but I'm so good at avoiding drama that when it happens it knocks me for six!
I'm 22 weeks pregnant with PFB. This weekend DP invited a group of his friends and their DP's over for what was explained to me as a housewarming/takeaway/few drinks social gathering. One friend has a wife in this group who is well...Difficult. She generally doesn't come to social gatherings, because she always ends up becoming verbally aggressive and having to leave early. She has plenty of her own friends so she isn't isolated or anything. Nevertheless her DP is part of a longstanding friendship group so she is tolerated on the rare occasions she joins them.
Anyways, upon hearing that people were coming to ours this weekend she called the girlfriends (bar myself and one other) of the group and said that they and their DP's should come out to dinner with her instead. They all declined. This got my back up a bit, as I don't really enjoy a game of 'divide and conquer'. It didn't occur to me for 2 seconds that she would be coming, as she has recently been verbally aggressive to my DP and I don't really have anything to do with her. Nevertheless she turned up.
She didn't even say hello to me. I did try to talk to her but I just got a sarcastic smile. She sat at my dining table with an abundance of alcohol that she'd brought round, loudly beckoning people over until everyone was sat at my dining table and it was just myself and another girl the other side of the room. She then got out some snack types and said "we can't be bothered to get food, let's just have this", then initiated drinking games. Inviting everyone to play apart from preggo me, of course. So, bored out of my mind I go to my room with my dog and cry because I'm hormonal and having a crappy time. She falls through my bedroom door (which is closed), I ask calmly if I can just be left alone to gather my thoughts. She then storms out shouting down the stairs, "we need to leave, now! She doesn't want me here!"..And left, after making me look like a terrible person. Some of the group come up and tell me not to worry, that they saw what she was doing and that I should come downstairs and get some food etc. Some don't. I hear her DP say to mine "Don't worry, pregnant women are just crazy sometimes".
So, the next day. Her DP calls mine and demands an apology from me for bullying this girl and ruining the night. She texts me saying she is really upset. I just text her back saying I can't be bothered with these games and I don't want this destructive behaviour in my life.
The whole group seems to be at loggerheads with this drama and she is painting me as this kind of super villain. As far as I'm concerned it was over and done once I had said I wanted nothing to do with it, but now the girlfriends of the group are coming out one by one saying she has told them all the nasty things I've said about them etc. I haven't said or done anything, I don't even know these people really. But I'm really just starting to doubt whether I was right to stand up for myself (eventually) or I should just apologise for a quiet life? I suffer with anxiety anyways and have been shaking for the last few hours. I could just do with the peace and quiet, and i feel so bad for DP as he is stuck in the middle.
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AIBU?
WIBU or a (future) "tiger mum"? Long, petty...
42 replies
Dannilion · 26/11/2012 19:32
OP posts:
LindyHemming ·
26/11/2012 19:38
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quietlysuggests ·
26/11/2012 20:08
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