to be upset with Nursery for letting my 18 month old play out in this weather when she's been in hospital 3 times this year with pneumonia and breathing difficulties

(68 Posts)
designergirl Thu 22-Nov-12 16:23:24

I just went to pick my daughter up, it's really windy, cold and starting to rain and she was playing outside as were all the other children her age. She has been in hospital 3 times this year with pneumonia and breathing difficulties, in February,July and September. I wouldn't let her play out in this weather at home and I was so upset with the staff that I shouted at them. I wrote in her book that she has a hat, mittens and scarf but she didn't have any of them on, and I saw her fall over. I think the wind blew her over but she might have just fallen over.Am I being unreasonable?
I know OFSTED require them to play outside and generally I don't mind her playing out. I just think it's a bit lacking in common sense to let her play out in this awful weather. The wind is so strong it's just blown an empty hanging basket all the way down our street.

BeerTricksPott3r Thu 22-Nov-12 16:55:00

I know how you feel about the hospital admissions, designergirl. Have been in that position and its dreadful.
However, I always made a point of telling the nursery what I expected them to do to help me manage DS's asthma and when he was really bad I kept him off, as it was my call to monitor how he was and no one elses.

Scholes34 Thu 22-Nov-12 16:55:28

The nursery my children went to was child led. Whatever the weather, if a child wanted to play outside, they were allowed to, and a member of staff obviously had to be with them. I think the staff feel the cold more than the children. YABU in your attitude.

ChippingInLovesAutumn Thu 22-Nov-12 16:56:28

I haven't been so precious with her 3 older sisters

In the nicest possible way, maybe it's time to realise that although she will always be 'your baby' she isn't 'a' baby. Perhaphs have a look at how she is treat at home too - they 'baby' of the family needs to be allowed to grow up to and not forever be mollycoddled or favoured.

Sirzy Thu 22-Nov-12 16:56:58

Keeping her inside won't keep her out of hospital. Fresh air is vital, and does them good. Actually at the local hospital here they have an outdoor play area and encourage children to go and get fresh air

RobinSparkles Thu 22-Nov-12 16:57:25

I'm sure others would be similar in your position, OP. It must have been awful to see her so poorly sad

designergirl Thu 22-Nov-12 16:58:30

Well that is what I'm not sure about, is it better for her to play out or be inside. My priority at the moment is keeping her out of hospital, she missed out on everything when she was in hospital for a week and struggling to breathe in February and in September also.

Sirzy Thu 22-Nov-12 16:59:21

Robin - I have been in that position and i still think the OP is over reacting

designergirl Thu 22-Nov-12 17:00:42

My daughter wasn't well enough to play outside at the hospital, she was attached to an iv for antibiotics and she nearly went into the HDU. They were struggling to keep her alive not enjoying outdoor play

Sirzy Thu 22-Nov-12 17:02:06

My point was that even when children are ill fresh air is a good thing, of course it isn't always possible but that doesn't mean it's a bad thing.

MaryPoppinsBag Thu 22-Nov-12 17:03:19

YABU
It isn't even that cold where I am 12 degrees!

Kids love the wind. If i was child minding today I'd have taken them out with scarves a ribbons to watch them blow.

3b1g Thu 22-Nov-12 17:03:46

When is your next respiratory clinic appt? I would ask for their advice. If the doctor feels that cold air might make her breathing worse then ask for a letter for nursery. If your next appt isn't for ages then it would be reasonable to phone GP for advice.

Mumsyblouse Thu 22-Nov-12 17:05:28

I don't think you are reasonable to have to got cross with them, not least because you didn't explicitly tell them to keep her in if it was bad weather.

However, I don't think comparing other children's experiences really helps sometimes. My husband's country is very cold and snowy in the winter, and children do play outside, however, they would never ever go out without a waterproof coat/leggings/hat/gloves, all kitted out etc. Children there are bundled up like you wouldn't believe. Secondly, it's very sunny in winter, so children tend to go out in the day in the sunshine and play in the snow, but as soon as the sun goes in, or their mittens get wet or they get cold, they would come in again. So, they wouldn't go out in gale force weather, as it is today.

Finally, yes, a cold or pneumonia isn't caused (as in directly) by cold weather, but there is some research that shows that putting the body under stress (psychological or physical) makes people more vulnerable to infection. So, extremes of anything, whilst not wrapped up properly, having had three bouts of hospitalization doesn't sound that great to me.

But, clearly you shouldn't have shouted, that's your emotionality over your dd's illness coming out and you need to apologise tomorrow.

Jux Thu 22-Nov-12 17:17:33

What do the medical professionals say about her playing outside? At least ask your gp, before you make a decision.

Mumsyblouse Thu 22-Nov-12 17:18:07

The final difference between here and my husband's country is that they know how dangerous the proper cold is so they all heat their houses (or just the bit they live in) very high, it's always roasting, either with a real fire or triple glazing, so you get warm very quickly. I am always amazed how many people here boast how cold their houses is and how they hardly use heating, although in the UK this isn't likely to be fatal for healthy adults (it tends to be the elderly who are already ill or very immobile who needlessly die through the cold in this country).

Mumsyblouse Thu 22-Nov-12 17:19:26

I do agree to ask the GP or the respiratory nurse though, it may put your mind at rest, so she can play out with everyone else (unless the weather is extreme and I do agree today it was very windy for a child quite unsteady on their feet).

SunsetMojito Thu 22-Nov-12 17:31:35

I feel for you designergirl. I expect having seen your daughter so poorly in hospital three times has been utterly horrendous for you and her.

I am not surprised that you feel protective and want to do anything to avoid it happening to her again. I think its entirely understandable to feel and react the way you did.

I expect the shouting was an gut reaction. Most who have been in your shoes would do the same. Its nothing that a 'sorry for shouting' tomorrow won't fix. I expect they will forgive you and find it entirely understandable as something in the heat of the moment. Now you have the opportunity to chat through again what you would like her to do and not do.

I expect you know better than anyone that pneumonia is a bacterial/viral infection. I expect you also know better than anyone on her what is going to make your dd more prone to it.

I hope you and your dd are OK. I really don't think you deserve a flaming like this!!

hauntedhouse Thu 22-Nov-12 17:38:09

YANBU. I grew up on continent and used to play outside all day in minus 15, but if I so much as took my hat off for a second, I got a stern telling off from the nearest adult.

I'm all for playing in all weathers and I'm happiest when I pick my son from nursery all muddy and mucky, but hats and mittens are a must when it's so cold. Yes, viruses and bacteria cause diseases, but we're far more susceptible when we're cold.

I would apologize for overreacting but firmly ask that she's properly dressed when out.

WorraLiberty Thu 22-Nov-12 17:42:01

Sunset no-one has flamed the OP.

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