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Was ibu to have told my son the truth when he asked about Santa

(54 Posts)
Charliefarlie1192 Thu 22-Nov-12 00:30:09

Ds 7 told me tonight he doesn't believe in Santa and he knows it's not true. At first I said he was talking nonsense but he was so adamant In the end I told him he was right and that it was me who bought his gifts
I feel terrible now and think I should have tried harder to persuade him I can't even sleep!

Charliefarlie1192 Thu 22-Nov-12 00:47:50

Damn autocorrect I meant to say replies not replays

BOFingSanta Thu 22-Nov-12 00:48:11

Turn it around and make him feel part of a big adult secret. Say that Santa is the way we explain to little kids the 'magic' of Christmas. The magic is real, because it's about love, and no matter how hard things get, we always try to show the magic of love at Christmas.

Etc.

Then watch Miracle On 34th Street with him.

WorraLiberty Thu 22-Nov-12 00:48:15

Outraged I doubt she'll be furious.

If you explain about the magical myth and why you wanted her to experience it...then follow it up with a story or two of how you panicked some years because you found it hard to find what she wanted in the shops...I'm sure she'll love and appreciate you all the more for it smile

ClippedPhoenix Thu 22-Nov-12 00:49:14

Now you can say, ah but how do we know for real and keep up the myth. Or am I just a die hard santa believer grin

BOFingSanta Thu 22-Nov-12 00:50:11

Yes, same sort of thing, Worra. That's how I like to think of it. Christmas is still full of spirit, no matter how you look at it.

WorraLiberty Thu 22-Nov-12 00:50:42

Then watch Miracle On 34th Street with him

Yes! And then Jingle All The Way grin

The year after my DS found out, he asked if we could still track Santa on the Norad site and if we could still use the 'email Santa' thing too.

I said yes of course...it wouldn't seem like Christmas if we didn't grin

Charliefarlie1192 Thu 22-Nov-12 00:51:16

Maybe if I label all the presents from mummy apart from one in different paper from Santa on Xmas day? And act shocked and surprised an excited because he must be real!?

BOFingSanta Thu 22-Nov-12 00:53:23

Nah, cat's out of the bag now. Just tell him that it's the best way to explain how special things happen at Christmas. Because that's true, they do.

WorraLiberty Thu 22-Nov-12 00:54:36

OP I wouldn't go back on what you've told him if I were you as that will only confuse him.

If I were you, I'd buy a big gift bag and fill it with bits and bobs 'From Santa' and then smile and tell him you want to keep the tradition.

It's up to you though obviously but I think you'll find as long as the Santa thing remains a part of Christmas morning (no matter what his age as FlaminNora has proved) the magic/tradition will never be lost...even though he knows Santa's not real smile

OutragedFromLeeds Thu 22-Nov-12 00:55:12

Hope so Worra grin

WorraLiberty Thu 22-Nov-12 00:55:32

Or what BOF said with less waffle grin

ClippedPhoenix Thu 22-Nov-12 00:56:46

I still only put one from mummy and the rest from santa and his reindeer grin we watch all the magical dvds together and as I said my DS is 14. Just because children obviously sus it out and need to be told the truth you can still both pretend together and it does actually keep christmas magical.

Charliefarlie1192 Thu 22-Nov-12 00:58:27

Think you are all right, when I finally admitted the truth to him he seemed relieved and I told him it was because I didn't want to lie to him and I wouldn't ever tell him a lie- we have had a tough year and he deserves my respect for how he has handled things

Itsaboatjack Thu 22-Nov-12 01:00:32

I've got to work hard to keep up the myth of Santa after I ballsed up on the tooth fairy this week. I forgot to leave money two nights in a row and came out with the lame excuse that her bedroom was too messy for the tooth fairy to get to her bed blush

WorraLiberty Thu 22-Nov-12 01:00:54

Aww well that's even more reason to start your own tradition now grin

Give him a santa sack, tell him to leave it by the fireside on Xmas Eve...and tell him you'll fill it with a few bits for Xmas morning.

WorraLiberty Thu 22-Nov-12 01:02:42

Itsaboatjack I was a total pro at telling my kids to look harder and shake their duvets out...while I hurriedly grabbed a pound coin...shoved it up my sleeve and then dropped it down the side of the bed whilst 'helping' them look blush

ClippedPhoenix Thu 22-Nov-12 01:02:45

Even more reason to put them carrots out together for the reindeer then ay OP. Do it and keep that wonderful myth going x

Whatdoiknowanyway Thu 22-Nov-12 08:47:16

You treated your intelligent child with compassion and respect, that's the opposite of being a shit mum.

I really, really don't understand parents who insist on maintaining the secret in the face of their child's growing maturity and curiosity.

Mine worked it out at about 7, thoroughly enjoyed helping their younger siblings and then cousins experience the magic and still leave out mince pies, carrots and a drink for Santa, hang their own stocking up etc. Theyre 19 and 20 now.

freddiefrog Thu 22-Nov-12 08:55:29

YANBU

If he's worked it out for himself, then don't force it. I think that once they start asking questions, they're ready to know if that makes sense

DD1 knows, but we still do the whole Santa sack thing with her, it's as still fun for her, she knows she has to keep her gob shut and not spoil it for her sister. She still writes her list, tracks him on NORAD, eager to leave out the mince pie

MiL told my DD2 out of the blue the other day, she'd never questioned it or anything, full on believer so she thinks that nanny is just being silly for now

My older four DCs know (and have done so for a long time) but they will try to keep the magic alive for their 4 yo sister until she works it for herself, which she is likely to do sooner rather than later as none of them can agree on anything . I am also a firm believer in not lying outright to my DCs, I'll tell them about the tooth fairy and Father Christmas but when they ask me outright whether it's me that fills their sack /puts the money under the pillow I'll tell them the truth. It's really not thta big a deal, and if his friends all still believe then he'll feel grown up keeping that pretence up for them.

valiumredhead Thu 22-Nov-12 09:48:00

You did the right thing imo, he is 7 after all! We all have presents from FC and stockings even though ds has never believed and he is 11 now!

squeakytoy Thu 22-Nov-12 09:54:54

I never got a present from Father Christmas... he just brought the presents from other people. That way I knew I had people to say thanks to for my presents.

Bramshott Thu 22-Nov-12 09:59:18

DD1 is nearly 10 and sussed it last year. It's great now that she conspires with me to get things for DD2's stocking - it's still magical, just different.

SpookTheCat Thu 22-Nov-12 11:20:32

DD worked it out just the other day and i couldn't keep up the pretence any longer.
She saw a "Santa please stop here" sign yesterday she wanted and then said "Oh we cant have that as Santa isn't real"
My response of course we can, we can still have the magic of Santa. That will never stop!!

We will continue with stockings and the mince pie and carrot for Rudolph, She will still sneak downstairs in the morning before everyone else is awake to see if Santa has been.
In fact she was quite happily singing, "Santa Claus is Coming to Town!" last night, with a big grin on her face!!

The whole santa thing is what you make it, whether they believe or not!!

Floralnomad Thu 22-Nov-12 11:29:33

I honestly don't think mine believed in Santa from the moment they could talk and its never made Christmas any less special . We always went to Disney Paris the week before Xmas ( until last year ) and I don't think you can take a Goofy Santa seriously. We always put out a glass of milk and biscuit for the reindeer on Christmas Eve , because dad likes to eat it when he's moving the presents around in the night! If you're a shit parent OP I must be really bad yet both have mine have made it to being teenagers ( ones 19) without too many issues.

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