It's a long story so I'll condense it. It sounds horribly Jerry Springer too....DH is from another country....an engish speaking one which is a long way away.
We met 12 years ago and now have 2 children aged 8 and 4. We live in the UK.
WHen our DD1 was only 3, we had a phonecall from his MOther to tell us that an old girlfriend of his back in his country had called her and wanted DHs number.
She called DH and broke the news that she had his child and she was at the time nearly 10 years old.
DH had known this woman since school and when they were in their early 20s she had left the city they grew up in and one day she came back for a visit, DH and she had a one week fling.
She was at this time engaged to another man. She left to go back to her city and her fiancee and DH thought no more of this and never heard from her again. He knew she was engaged.
It turns out, she got pregnant and passed DHs child off as her fiancee's.
The time she rang us when DD was 3, it was to tell DH that he had a child. She had split with her by then, husband who asked for a DNA test...so it all came out.
He had been raising DHs child.
DH had a DNA test which we did via postal services but when we saw a picture of the little girl we knew she was his anyway. The DNA test was positive.
Since then, DH has struggled to maintain contact with them, the MOther is not a secure person, ...he's signed an agreement thing so the woman gets her child payments from the government over there, which DH pays to them...and he has been over to visit. We used all our savings for this because the main thing was that his poor DD could meet him
Contact is not great because his DD is now 15 and not that keen,...she barely knows DH... her Mum isn't a lot of help and moves around a lot...sometimes forgetting to update us with numbers etc. His DD wont keep in touch herself but if DH can call and get her MUm, she usually chats.
We're going back there this Christmas to stay wth DHs mum and DHs Mum has invited them to her home for lunch. I' am a bit unhappy about it....I want to meet DHs child but not her MOther over lunch!
It's going to feel very awkward! AIBU? I genuinely do not know. The woman is not known for her pleasant behaviour....she's spiky and when I talked to her on Skype at the start of all this, she asked me what dress size I am!
What do I do? Go out when they come? That means I won't get to meet DHs DD in the flesh so to speak... which I want to!
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AIBU?
To not meet the Mother of DH's "surprise dd"?
71 replies
MrsCantSayAnything · 20/11/2012 07:35
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