Am annoyed at dh for getting in at 4.20Ame

(34 Posts)
Petershadow Sat 17-Nov-12 06:44:17

he had a big boys lunch yesterday. So started at midday. Also a big night on Thursday.
We have friends coming to stay today, his best friend, he's to be no help at all. I need to go shopping, they'll be here by 10.
We are all going out tonight, he's going to be tired and grumpy, I don't get out that often

He is always tired, we've talked about burning the candle at both ends
He also knows that DS has been really trying, massive tantrums and knows that I am very upset about it and could do with some help, support and back up.

He sent me a message on his way home, saying sorry
But he's done this a fair few times now

He can still do all these things, he just has to be an adult and deal with the consequences. no moaning, no stroppiness, parents and works just like normal. I cannot understand why some people don't understand their priorities have to change when they become parents. I would love to go out on the martinis every Friday night. I can't because DD is up at 6.30am really before 6am but I can't face the truth and I have to parent.

AnyFucker Tue 20-Nov-12 22:12:04

But nothing changes ?

Petershadow Tue 20-Nov-12 22:07:44

So
We went out together on sat night. Bed at 2am
Sunday, stayed in, bed 11ish
Last night we went to the movies together

Today he has had a client lunch that once again turned into a dinner
he's out tomorrow with a friend
And we have a party to go to on Friday

I am never going to let him tell me he is tired

GrimAndHumourless Sat 17-Nov-12 19:22:07

guffaw at selfish behaviour being hardwired into men

nah love selfish git more like

Euphemia Sat 17-Nov-12 18:14:18

You have to accept it as one of their flaws

Guff

TheCountessOlenska Sat 17-Nov-12 18:13:16

God, don't do the guest preparation - he can do that surely. If it doesn't get done, explain to your friends that he was too hungover! That's what I'd do.

StuntGirl Sat 17-Nov-12 18:00:42

No it is not "hard wired into their DNA" hmm

Knowsabitabouteducation Sat 17-Nov-12 17:56:58

How many times a year, or in a five year period, does he do this kind of thing?

Personally, I think it is quite normal for very decent men to "lose track of time" on this scale maybe once or twice a year. It's hard-wired into their DNA. You have to accept it as one of their flaws and hope they accept your flaws too.

This is not the same as someone staying out till all hour on a very frequent basis (eg weekly/fortnightly).

grobagsforever Sat 17-Nov-12 17:50:17

Ha, no worries grim. OP why did you let him get away with sleeping in? You do need to have serious words. Is he a good husband in other ways?

The rule is that if you choose, as an adult, to go out and get bladdered, you get up in the morning and parent/take responsibility. DH had too much to drink last night and got up and cleaned the kitchen. He did it because he said he would. It helps that I don't see the house as being my job. If people come round and it's not clean and it was DH's turn and they see it, it's no reflection on me.

StuntGirl Sat 17-Nov-12 16:21:09

Are you the mum from the asda advert OP? Honestly you don't need to run around after him. If the house isn't tidy it isn't tidy, if there's no food they'll manage.

Unless you told him you would do all this, in which case just don't martyr yourself next time!

Euphemia Sat 17-Nov-12 16:14:49

Well if you continually enable his laziness and ineptitude, nothing's ever going to change, is it?

If you didn't run around when you got in, what's the worst that would happen?

Petershadow Sat 17-Nov-12 15:48:42

Er, because I would get back and nothing would be done
He would just go on being the lovely charming host
And then I'd have to run around when I get in

Euphemia Sat 17-Nov-12 15:43:24

Bugger giving him a list - let him work out for himself what needs done. Why is that your job?

Petershadow Sat 17-Nov-12 15:41:47

Wasn't tiptoeing around dh, more the visitors
Me an DS at swimming now. I gave him a list of things to do.

WorraLiberty Sat 17-Nov-12 14:35:25

Why are you keeping your DS quiet? confused

Just go about your normal business and don't tiptoe round him

That might make him think twice in future.

Mrsjay Sat 17-Nov-12 14:18:40

I must admit the 'spa weekend' post made me laugh

and me I have just realised a few days ago what the bingo is all about and i got it and did smirk blush

Mrsjay Sat 17-Nov-12 14:16:48

I really feel for women when they start threads like this unsupportive partners and dads , he knew you were having visitors he knew your son was being a handful yet he went out and did it anyway, I am not saying people shouldn't have a night out or whatever but when you have things planned it is just taking the piss imo

justmyview Sat 17-Nov-12 13:52:06

I'd be cross too. Another time I wouldn't rush out to do shopping for his friend coming to stay. It's not automatically your responsibility to cover up for your DH

GrimAndHumourless Sat 17-Nov-12 13:26:49

blush I am SO sorry gro, what a nitwit I am

Petershadow Sat 17-Nov-12 13:14:24

This really isn't fair
Everyone is asleep now, and I get the job of keeping DS quiet

Friends have flown in so couldnt really cancel

BalloonSlayer Sat 17-Nov-12 13:05:10

Too late now but you could have rang his friends and cancelled the visit.

WorraLiberty Sat 17-Nov-12 13:01:29

I must admit the 'spa weekend' post made me laugh blush

grobags was being ironic as that seems to be the standard MN response in these situations.

grobagsforever Sat 17-Nov-12 12:57:26

Grimandhumorless of course a spa won't help, I was playing mn bingo...

OP you need to stand up for yourself.

FromEsme Sat 17-Nov-12 12:03:22

What lurkedtoolong said.

His friends, he sorts it out.

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