AIBU to not want to feel like DS is being scrutinised?

(24 Posts)
NoWayNoHow Thu 15-Nov-12 15:19:52

Been at the park for all of 5 minutes. Hardly anyone here, just 2 other kids. DS has been of the seesaw with me bouncing him - another girl and her dad approach, and I get off and say, "Look, DS, this little girl wants to go on with you."

At which point, the dad immediately says, to hos DD, "are you sure you want to on that, the boy is VERY bouncy..." hmm

DS immediately gets off and moves to the slide and climbs up it - he knows he's not allowed to do this, but there's no-one on it, so I remind him for next time but let him get on with. dad and daughter hot on our heels following from seesaw, at which point the dad says, "use the proper way to go up the slide and go to the stairs - don't climb up it" hmm hmm

So within a few minutes of being here, I already feel like DS is some kind of destructive, badly behaved hooligan bringing the tone of the park down.

AIBU to expect to just be able to have a nice time without the parenting police passing comment every 5 seconds??

CailinDana Thu 15-Nov-12 15:21:04

Ignore!! Or you'll end up in the loony bin!

Feminine Thu 15-Nov-12 15:23:18

There is always one of these parents at the park wink

For the most part, there are normal lovely parents about...but...just sometimes

I also found it was worse when I was out with my boys. Parents seem to assume they will be more trouble.

My daughter has an easier time of it.

StuntGirl Thu 15-Nov-12 15:24:33

The other dad sounds like he'd be clutching his pearls if he had any. Ignore.

seeker Thu 15-Nov-12 15:25:15

If you don't want him scrutinised then don't let him go up the slide!

FutTheShuckUp Thu 15-Nov-12 15:26:54

Poor Dad would have had a cardiac arrest if he'd have seen how my two were behaving at the park earlier...

Psammead Thu 15-Nov-12 15:29:28

Muddy/wet foootprints on slides makes the slide crap.

CremeEggThief Thu 15-Nov-12 15:31:50

You sound a little over-sensitive to me. Who cares what this other parent (who frankly, seems a bit of a killjoy) seems to think?

Who do you think is actually enjoying themselves more, your DS or his DD?

honeytea Thu 15-Nov-12 15:39:58

Maybe your son will listen to the dad and the don't go up slide message might get through to him as he is not listening to what you say if you have already told him how to use the slide properly.

HotHotNot Thu 15-Nov-12 15:40:31

If you were at the park with my son, trust me you'd be the one muttering comments under your breath. You have nothing to worry about.

Just say "don't worry, his arse will wipe it on the way down" next time.

ClippedPhoenix Thu 15-Nov-12 15:41:58

I'm a kill joy then and used to tell my DS to use the slide correctly. It's something that needs taking turns on and if a kid is climbing up it the wrong way it's bloody annoying and yes there's also the muddy footprints and making it shite for sliding down.

Meandmycats Thu 15-Nov-12 15:47:30

The dad might know that his daughter has been on seesaws before with other children and screamed blue murder because they do not use it as gently as she likes. He was probably just reminding her she doesn't like it when it bumps on the ground etc.

Also, kids copy kids. If she was following your son from the seesaw to the slide then she would probably have followed him up the slide as well. Dad wants her to use it as it is intended, so reminded her to do that. I think that's fair enough. He didn't pass comment on your child going up the slide, he just reminded his own not to do so.

Itsaboatjack Thu 15-Nov-12 15:55:27

I didn't realise there is a rule that you can't go up the slide if no-one is trying to come down it. What about standing on swings, is that allowed? Are there any other playground rules that I don't know of?

Mrsjay Thu 15-Nov-12 15:57:24

that parent was at the park the last time i was there with t DD about 13 years ago grin you are always going to get somebody who thinks their child is so precious that they will break if the get knocked over, ignore them

GhoulWithADragonTattoo Thu 15-Nov-12 15:58:44

To me it sounds like he is just trying to make sure his DD will OK (seesaw) and that she does it the right way (slide). I actually don't think this is anything to do with you or your DS confused

mynewpassion Thu 15-Nov-12 15:59:03

I agree with Meandmycats. Maybe its not about your son but his DD.

treas Thu 15-Nov-12 16:05:53

It annoyed the heck out of me when my children tried to climb up the slide the wrong way round but I taught them my values / opinion about that.

As to other children climbing up the wrong way - absolutely none of my business, that is the responsibility of their responsible adult.

The only time I would have said anything would be to prevent an accident.

Just take tissues to clean off mud and foot prints.

NoWayNoHow Thu 15-Nov-12 17:23:03

Sorry, been ages away! Yes, I was probably being hypersensitive but it just felt like it was an (albeit possibly unintentional) assumption being made about DS by someone who doesn't know him from a bar of soap. He was very "pointed" when making the comments, like it wasn't for his DD's benefit

At any rate, whoever said his DD wouldn't have been having fun was probably right. Watching them a bit more after posting the OP, he didn't let her.do a single thing she wanted to do, bless her.

Myd on slide not an issue, the ground of the park is entirely that spongey bouncy stuff all the way from the road so no mud at all, but even if there was, there's not much you can do if your DC hurtles up the slide with muddy feet. Even if you can catch them (and DS is fast!), the damage is done. All you can do is tell them.off, which I did.

I think he was just being overprotective, but it did feel a little like DS was being cast in the role of the villain (as, I would imagine, any other child would have been)

Can't really explain it, but this sort of thing just sets my teeth on edge.

Blimey, no climbing up the slide????? As long as its not left dirty and no one is waiting to come down then what's the problem? Playgrounds are for playing, and as long as they are not endangering themselves or others or inconveniencing other children then its all good as far as I'm concerned!

Floggingmolly Thu 15-Nov-12 17:35:15

He was just showing his own child how to play safely really, unless he interfered and told your DS off for going up the slide it's nothing to get het up over.

pigletmania Thu 15-Nov-12 19:11:48

Ignore te dad sounds like a highly irritating helicopter parent

LucieMay Thu 15-Nov-12 19:22:18

It's a playground! Outside! Kids will get dirty and muddy and messy! There are no stipulated rules about how to use equipment. It is for fun! Ds has climbed up the slide since he was wee, I was unaware of the unwritten rule that little boys can't climb on play equipment? I'm the opposite of a helicopter parent, I just sit down and let ds get on with it. I don't hover around him following him onto each piece of equipment. I'm far too busy on mumsnet!

elvisaintdead Thu 15-Nov-12 22:27:49

I don't think the Dad made any comment about your child just his own. I sometimes warm my DS or ask him if he is sure abit something in the park and get a few odd looks because he is 8 however I am not helicoptering, he just has some issues that aren't obvious by looking at him.

I also get mine to go up the steps and down the slide if there are others in the park, mainly because it's annoying when you have littliues waiting at the top that can't go down because older ones are going up the slide part - it's just pesonal opinion and he is as entitled to his as you are to yours.

I am far from a helicopter parent - mine recently stayed in the park in a thunder storm in the pouring rain when all the other parents called their kids to take shelter - they loved it as they had the place to themselves and the slide was super fast as it was wet.

Even if he was being "pointed" just rise above it - everyone has their own parenting ideas and if your DS is happy and healthy who gives a flying eff what anyone else thinks

It sounds like a touch of "performance parenting" to me

You know like the mother I heard at a park during the summer
"No Esme, you can't have some Ribena I've got some lovely Elderflower cordial for you at home"

My kids were drinking Ribena and I was trying to stifle my sniggers.

BTW Esme was not impressed with her mum's suggestion wink

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