That I should switch my kids school (long, sorry)

(80 Posts)

This is causing major angst in our house, arguments between me and other half.

I haven't been happy with my kids school for ages. DS is at nursery, DC is in Year 1.

In FS2 last year, my DC's first teacher was there from September to March. She was pregnant got really aggression with some of the kids as she got further along. Myself and the other Mums were very happy to see her go.

Replaced with another teacher who she has now, who is hit and miss. One minute she is fine with us parent's next she's not. She is very negative and doesn't exactly point out what the children are good at, more dwells on what they are not. I also found the end of term report to be error filled, such as her Maths report, she is pretty good at maths but it said she wasn't and needs lots of help (not my expereince). One of the other Mums put it right when she said she felt the teacher has "favorites" and the others tend to fade into the background.

Anyway, she constantly blames my daughter for things. She pulled me up in front of the other parents last term as my daughter was reported to have bitten another child. Very out of character, so asked DC what happened. DC was in floods of tears, apparently this girl and another had been slapping and kicking her on and off all day, so she reacted to get them to stop. Wrong, of course, but the bruising all over my DC was disgraceful. I asked if she had explained and was told the teacher kept telling her to shut up. One of the other girl's Mums actually went in to explain what had happened with me, as she had asked her daughter what had happened and her daughter felt bad (that's how loud she was about talking to me).

There is a serious racism problem as well, my DC's Poppy was ripped off by an Asian girl and she stamped on it telling my DC she shouldn't wear it. I reported this and it was laughed off.

Today, DC home in tears, DP very cross. Apparently, same teacher (they moved up with her, I'd have preferred other class) has brought some supposedly "precious" book on Origami in, and showed the class, allowing them to pass it round whilst the origami pop ups were out (its apparently like a pop up book). This is a bunch of 5 years olds, remember.

DC has been shouted at and dragged to the head as she has reportedly "screwed up" one of the figures. She now doesn't want to go back to school. We are being called in to tomorrow about it. Over a book.

I asked for DCs side, as I always do. Teachers aren't infallible. This teacher has proved before she can't be trusted to get both sides when she gets angry. According to my DC, she was handed not the book, but the book via the figure, so of course with it being delicate, its perished. No one asked this though.

I am livid. She is 5, she has been in Year 1 for a matter of weeks, and if this book was so precious, surely the teacher should have showed it the class rather than leaving it to very young children? Especially as its delicate.

Not only that, DS is a 28 weeker, has ongoing health issues, and damp weather upsets this. They took him on knowing this and have driven me mad, demanding doctors letters about his condition so they can gain "additional funding". But my son needs no adaptions for the class room or extra help whatsoever. No matter how many times I ask that he doesn't go outdoors in the bad weather, they refuse to do this, as "they cannot make an example of on child". Last week he was left out in the rain, after they'd removed his jumper- queue visit to A+E over the weekend when he became so ill he could hardly breathe. They also allowed him to wet his pants last week, as they refused to undo his button for him.

They wouldn't allow his to go up to FS2 with his peers in September as he had time off due to illness (which they contributed to with their silly rules on constant outdoor play), but when you bear in mind Nursery isn't compulsory, this really makes me cross.

DP doesn't agree and has banned me from going to this meeting tomorrow. I am to the point of going to Ofsted over the treatment of the children.

Whats the general consensus?

Coconutty Thu 04-Oct-12 20:22:35

I think that you have a very negative opinion of this school and that yes, you should move them. If your DS really needs to stay indoors when it's cold, you will need to prove this to the EA and they will have to fund someone to look after him.

You would be amazed at how many PFBs have to stay in (not saying yours isn't a valid case, but seriously, loads of parents want their DCs inside at the first sign of a coldish day)

If you honestly believe that there have been racist incidents, you need to report them properly to the school and get them to fill in the racist incident book. All schools should have one of these.

Born2bemild Thu 04-Oct-12 20:33:52

You have no idea whether the racist incidents are being dealt with. They probably are. Some if your issues may well be genuine, but you come across as determined to see problems.
If your son needs to stay indoors, you need to help them get funding to pay for his supervision. That will not change with a new school, it will be needed there too.
The trouser thing. Who knows? Your son may have just stood there waiting. Teacher did not hear him. Teacher helping another child. Make everyone's life easier, put him in pull up trousers.

scarlettsmummy2 Thu 04-Oct-12 20:56:37

Just move them. Go private of you can.

Anonymumous Thu 04-Oct-12 21:11:12

Just a note of caution - you might not find it that easy to change schools with your children being so young. I had similar issues with DS1's infant school and I tried for over a year to get him moved elsewhere. Unfortunately schools are not allowed to exceed a class size of 30 at KS1, so poor DS1 had to put up with the bullying and the bad teachers until Year 3. All the schools in my area are full at the moment - there has been a bit of a population explosion.

So by all means start looking elsewhere and get your children on Continuing Interest lists for other schools, but don't take it for granted that you can get them out of there quickly - especially as you need two places. You need to go to your meeting and thrash out your issues with the Headteacher like a sensible adult - look at it as an opportunity to try to make things better for your children until you can move them.

Good luck.

YouMayLogOut Thu 04-Oct-12 21:15:33

scarlettsmummy2 these issues are not normal for state schools and I don't see why going private would be relevant?

bringmeroses Thu 04-Oct-12 21:20:06

Feel bad for all the heartache you're going through. But can you see that on the one hand, claiming your DS doesn't need any special adaptations, then saying he needs to stay in when the rest of the class might be outside in damp weather, is not consistent? What do the other parents at this school think of the situation - generally if a teacher is not up to the job, there will be more than one family upset. If you can find some other parents willing to complain about the teacher it might help your cause and gain DPs understanding.

scarlettsmummy2 Thu 04-Oct-12 21:37:31

I was being flippant. My daughters prep school is full of pushy mothers with angelic children. Op would fit right in.

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos Thu 04-Oct-12 22:40:14

6 staff plus other assistants? For 20 children? Where is this place!? That has got to be the highest staff to children ratio ever!

If you really don't think your ds is learning anything at nursery and there is no educational element whatsoever, then a) take him out and you can keep him indoors yourself b) research the EYFS.

Yes it is excessive, they had more than 20 last year but a lot went up to FS2, and they didn't get the intake they have on previous years.

Can I ask what EYFS is please?

I do teach him bits and bobs indoors, I'm teaching him to read using the Biff, Chip and Kipper books, he also gets to help his DS when she does her homework, and I'm teaching him phonics as well as basic French (only as his DS does it at lunchtimes and he seemed to enjoy picking up bits from her).

I did part train as a TA, then got pregnant with DS so had to quit. Its not something I'd go back to, it was a means to an end at the time.

lecce Thu 04-Oct-12 22:49:55

It sounds as if you do an awful lot of gossiping/ moaning about the teachers with the other mums - have you discussed any of this with members of staff?

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos Thu 04-Oct-12 22:53:25

It's the Early Years Foundation Stage. It's kind of like the National Curriculum but for children below statutory school age. There is more to educating small children than learning to read.

Brycie Thu 04-Oct-12 22:54:03

I read about three paragraphs, yes, move the children.

Nahla321 Thu 04-Oct-12 22:56:05

I would just move them. Fortunately they are young enough to be moved with minimum disruption as they have not made long term friendships etc. I wouldn't want my young children playing outside in the rain personally as it means them sitting in wet clothes all day unless they have proper rain kit. If you are having issues already after such a short time things are bound to get worse. good luck smile

skateboarder Thu 04-Oct-12 23:07:41

You need to go in and have a formal meeting. Raise concerns and see what the action plan is. If it isn't followed through, yes move them.

scarlettsmummy2 Thu 04-Oct-12 23:25:23

Op- apologies you took offence to my post. Not getting into a debate about public vs private or whether I have a superiority complex. I don't. Anyway, have you checked the inspection reports? Should shed some light on whether there are major concerns. I also am wondering if they have so many teaching assistants as they are failing.

BlueSkySinking Thu 04-Oct-12 23:28:31

Please don't blindly back up your son when he intentionally destroyed the origami. He was wrong to do that, any 5 year old should be able to be gentle with something so delicate. My 4 year old would be more then capable.

I also suspect he has been kept in D1 as he needs to go over some of the basics again. I can't see the problem here.

I do however agree that the teacher should have listened to your son when he was trying to explain about the hitting/biting.

The poppy incident should have been dealt with too.

I'd ask for an explanation about why they wouldn't help unbutton his trousers. Did his teacher already know that he needs help with fine motor activities?

The school should be implementing some kind of scheme to cover break times so that he can avoid being outside. I would be asking what funding they are presently receiving for him (ring LEA if nes) and direct them to use the money to pay someone to stay with him over lunch time.

I would also consider other schools. By all means look round the other schools but ask how they will cover wet breaks.

scarlettsmummy2 Thu 04-Oct-12 23:29:34

With regards to rain, not a big deal for most children unless it is torrential. All children at my daughters school are provided with waterproof overalls and go out in all weathers. I think this is a good thing unless there is an obvious underlying health complaint. I think it is based on Forrest school principles from sweden and has lots of benefits.

Brycie Thu 04-Oct-12 23:35:52

You are really in the right here I think.

honeytea Fri 05-Oct-12 06:46:00

DS has learnt nothing but how to play in a sand box and in a car since he has been there

What do you want him to learn? Sharing, imaginative play, coordination, there is so much that small children get out of playing in a sand box and a car.

As for the laces if a child can't undo a button I don't think shoes with laces are a very good idea hmm

fourbears Fri 05-Oct-12 07:17:48

I would move schools over much less than you've described. I can't see the school changing their attitudes to things without a lot of staff leaving, which probably isn't going to happen. Your DS may have the same teachers as he goes through the school. Cut your losses and find somewhere else. Hope it works out for you.

tiggytape Fri 05-Oct-12 07:39:44

giving them the contact details of his consultant and our GP
That isn't enough I am afraid. You need to contact the consultant yourself and ask for a letter for the school detailing on which days and in which kinds of weather DS's health makes it a medical requirement that he has special supervision indoors. This is a special adaptation out of the norm requiring funding and, quite rightly, letters need to come via the parents.

DS has learnt nothing but how to play in a sand box and in a car since he has been there
Again, at his age, you would find nothing different at any other school. Learning through play is indeed learning. A more traditional stye of learnig comes later on and this is also the same at all state schools.

fourbears Fri 05-Oct-12 07:47:47

Just to say, I did move DC out of an infant school to another. There was some bullying but for most people, it wouldn't have been enough to prompt something so drastic, but knowing the children and the culture of the school which is created by the headteacher (I believe) I knew nothing would change and I wasn't willing for my DC to put up with it any longer. They were much happier in the new school.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Fri 05-Oct-12 07:57:31

Didn't your DD do EYFS last year?

OP you could try posting on Primary Education for advice re things like the handling of racism.

porcamiseria Fri 05-Oct-12 08:22:53

move them! really. It does not sound great

But with regards to the younger one, I think if you want spwecial treatment you do need to follow procedures

Its bad luck for you, but they are young enough

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