AIBU to think there are a lot of posters outraged by benign/factual observations?

(40 Posts)
Proudnscary Wed 03-Oct-12 15:09:39

Just a little note to the professionally outraged Mumsnetters who object to people commenting on their bump size, the age gap of their kids, how small/tall their children are, what they're wearing etc etc....

People aren't actually particularly interested in your pregnancy/family planning/child's development/sartorial choices - they are making polite conversation. A huge majority of the time it is not meant as an insult. It is a passing - possibly inane - comment.

I think a few people need to see past their own noses. Or grow thicker skins.

CogitoErgoSometimes Wed 03-Oct-12 17:18:09

I love any story that includes the phrase 'voice dripping with sarcasm'.

'So this witch of an old woman came over to me smiling and offered (can you belive the brass neck of it?) with a voice dripping with sarcasm to help me with my shopping and then gave (and I'm still shaking at the memory) the kids a Werthers Original!'

Proudnscary Wed 03-Oct-12 17:10:45

Eliza - I think Mumsnet makes utter nervous wrecks out of all of us in real life!

LadyBeagleEyes Wed 03-Oct-12 16:35:02

Actually, I'm going into town tomorrow.
<Practices funny looks in the mirror>.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Wed 03-Oct-12 16:26:55

I used to be sensitive when I was younger. It's very tiring/tiresome TBH. I think you just have to assume no offence intended or just shrug it off. People who say nasty things generally have their own problems

elizaregina Wed 03-Oct-12 16:25:02

totally agree with Proud....

I was caught out the other day - I was late for MW appt, couldnt park in docs surgery - not been driving long and not confident at parking, had an awful headache and lots of things on my mind, was rushing in door to surgery - and bumped into a friend and I made a silly comment about her bump, that after I realied could be construed as very in senstive,...

i did apologise to her - and say - i didnt relaly think it - i was just flustered etc...she is VERY SWEET and would never moan or complain, but i imagine alot of m netters would have been ....out raged.

you are so right - often its just conversation....just thinking of something to say!

JamieandtheMagicTorch Wed 03-Oct-12 16:04:17

Yes, I meant to sound scary.

Or did I?

grin

Proudnscary Wed 03-Oct-12 16:02:38

<bit scared of jamie>

JamieandtheMagicTorch Wed 03-Oct-12 16:01:31

Oh, and my "thinking" is the rest of you beeeatches' "Overthinking"

JamieandtheMagicTorch Wed 03-Oct-12 15:59:46

I think so far we have learned that anything I'm offended about was intentionally designed to cast aspersions on me, and anything the rest of them are offended about is them being precious PFBs.

OhChristFENTON Wed 03-Oct-12 15:55:47

::raises handbag and goes Ooooooo::

Actually I too miss the attention I got whilst blooming in pregnancy.

(Apart from the one time I was reduced to tears by one woman who almost jumped off the pavement when seeing my enormous DS2 bump, - to be fair though that was the day the stretch marks started pinging open like overstretched perished lycra and I realised I would never wear a bikini again, ever)

And I miss the cooing a ah-ing over my children, - they are still gorgeous and wonderful of course but possibly don't draw the crowds like they used to when they were cute.

Proudnscary Wed 03-Oct-12 15:53:41

Smile? Smiling

ChaoticismyLife Wed 03-Oct-12 15:53:35

I used to sit in one of our local shopping centres waiting for a bus home and half the time I ended up getting the next bus instead. The reason for this being that I'd end up chatting to an older person who would, just before leaving, give my child(ren) a sweet. They always asked first wrt the sweets, never had anyone just giving one to them.

The one thing I couldn't stand though would be to have my bump rubbed/patted, luckily it never happened.

Proudnscary Wed 03-Oct-12 15:53:15

I do find myself smile nervously at other mums in the street nowadays in case a non-commital glance ends up on here as a 'judgemental sneer'.

NolaFfing Wed 03-Oct-12 15:53:05

I read that as "As a middle ages woman" LBE. <glasses>

LadyBeagleEyes Wed 03-Oct-12 15:48:45

I quite like these threads too.
As a Middle Aged Woman I keep meaning to give young mums with kids a funny look in the supermarket, just to see if anyone starts a thread about it.
But I don't know how, what is a funny look?

Jusfloatingby Wed 03-Oct-12 15:46:37

No Chandon. What would Mumsnet be without those precious, over analytical, taking themselves so seriously mums? It gives me a laugh as well.

NolaFfing Wed 03-Oct-12 15:45:04

I remember that thread Dilys. <1000 yard stare>

Proudnscary Wed 03-Oct-12 15:44:44

Pag - actually could you just get of this thread as your nose is a fucking liability <reports to MNHQ Health & Safety Dept>

But that's what I mean about polite convo - we all do it and it is often a stream of inane consiousness and means precisely nothing.

Chandon Wed 03-Oct-12 15:43:42

but I LOVE those threads!

If it says: "AIBU to want to f&cking THUMP that woman for smiling at my child?" or "AIBU to want to RIP the head of b7tch TA for not moving DS up another reading level?!" I will click on it.

For entertainment value.

is that bad

Proudnscary Wed 03-Oct-12 15:42:59

Quenelle - yes or it's a stealth boast: 'My dd has long, lustrous locks and a face that could launch a thousands ships - why THE HELL do people ONLY comment on her stunningly good looks and not her academic brilliance?'

Pagwatch Wed 03-Oct-12 15:40:32

<<tears wind their way down Pags monumental nose and create creases in her translucent crepey skin>>

This whole thing is a nightmare for me as I seem to feel personally responsible for every awkward gap in conversation - its a curse. When terrified of saying nothing I can come out with some classics.

Quenelle Wed 03-Oct-12 15:38:17

Same as Pagwatch, I enjoyed the attention when I was pregnant [needy]. I even didn't virtually explode when my boss felt my bump.

I like DS receiving attention from strangers and I love it when old people smile and talk to him. It was lovely when absolutely everyone used to comment on his gorgeous, fluffy, blond hair. Nobody has commented since his first haircut though <sniffs>

I have a theory that the people who claim to be offended by benign observations actually enjoy the attention and are pretending to be offended so they can get even more attention.

DilysPrice Wed 03-Oct-12 15:36:53

I remember the MNer with one child who was mortally offended by her next door neighbour with two children commenting in passing, as she wrangled her DCs to school "gosh mornings must be so easy with only one".
And no, she wasn't emotionally scarred by secondary infertility, and her one child didn't have massive behavioural difficulties, she was just shocked that this total bitch (who had almost certainly had one of those nightmare mornings) had dared to state the bleeding obvious

Proudnscary Wed 03-Oct-12 15:36:33

Cogito - yes but the telepathically induced outrage is not as annoying as the big fat lie exaggerated scenario...

'Then this old woman elbowed by toddler out of the way and snapped 'Get your filthy bastard kids out of my way!'

Proudnscary Wed 03-Oct-12 15:34:48

Verm - yes true, of course there are a smattering of rude cowbags in this world. But some people don't seem to be able to sift the cowgags from the nicenormalbags.

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