to think it's unsociable to let kids scream their heads off in restaurants

(112 Posts)
sarahseashell Wed 03-Oct-12 12:35:33

... without even making some effort to suggest that they keep the noise down confused
I'm not talking about the odd noise but when mums happily chatting/ talking on mobile while their kids are screaming rraaaahhhhh stampeding over the chairs and generally ruining the whole thing for everyone else in there, why can't the mums just explain that there are some places it's fine to do that (eg park) and some where you could keep a bit quieter.

teaching their children to be inconsiderate IMO
<dons hard hat>

bubalou Thu 04-Oct-12 22:20:44

When I worked as a waitress's at a rather 'family orientated' restaurant we had a woman an her friend come in with 3 children. They were shits from the start but after having complaints from other tables I had to politely ask her to keep the children sat down for their safety. Hot pans, people carrying trays with drinks on etc. 5 minutes later and her shit head son - about 7 years old was running round again pretending to shoot stuff with his fingers & knocked over a tray with a glass on it and it landed on him! He wasn't hurt, the glass hit the floor & smashed and I had to clean it all up.

His mum was outraged that a tray with a drinking glass had been left on - an empty table, on the other side of the restaurant to him! She complained and the manager had to give them their meal for free!

angry sill makes me angry - it was about 8 years ago!

Sirzy Thu 04-Oct-12 22:19:02

Worse than the noisy child on a plane in the family who decided not to change the shitty nappy of their baby on the plane. 4 hours of that stink was horrendous!

Not surprisingly the baby was also screaming for a lot of the flight!

You'd love my DD on a plane - she sits and plays quietly with her toys, then goes to sleep lol! Mind you we've been flying regularly since she was 3 weeks.

QueenStromba Thu 04-Oct-12 21:41:07

I see your crap parents in restaurants and raise you crap parents on planes. At least in restaurants or even any other form of public transport you have the option of leaving or moving to another area but on plane you are stuck with the crap parenting for the duration. I once snapped at the parents of a child who were making no effort to keep the child quiet on a London to Dublin flight. I could have coped with it if that wasn't the last flight of a 36 hour journey. The mother was indignant but the father agreed that I had a point. They made an effort then and the child was quiet for the rest of the flight.

BrianButterfield Thu 04-Oct-12 21:07:44

I had a pre-emptive catsbum the other day too! I took DS (13 months) out on my own for a sandwich and coffee in a very casual cafe in a local council-run building. I sat him in his highchair with a little toy on a table as far from everyone else as I could, and then an older woman came in, took the table next to me and looked at us with great disdain and pursed lips. He was making no noise at all! I noticed it because usually he gets smiles and hellos from people.

janelikesjam Thu 04-Oct-12 21:02:02

Why should you have to don your hard hat, OP?

Why would anyone disagree with you? shock.

It always amazes me when people let their babies bawl and children shout/scream in restaurants, shops, everywhere - disturbing everyone - while blithely carrying on with their own business. Bad manners and lack of care for children simultaneously.

(p.s. btw not talking about a little spirited behaviour smile)

YANBU at all - I recently had a very hot drink tipped all over me by children running round and round a restaurant. i actually think they were playing tag.
When it happened the staff etc all bustled around and one of the mothers rather vaguely offered to buy me another. No apology. No 'ooo, you've been covered in half a pint of hot liquid'. No offer to pay a cleaning bill.
I'd have more sympathy with a screaming baby, for a bit anyway grin

sarahseashell Thu 04-Oct-12 19:29:47

yes sounds like they just wanted something to moan about coola

"I know it must be annoying when you get dirty looks from other diners the minute you walk in to a restaurant with your children.

But those diners have probably had their fill of rude, ignorant or just downright gormless parents who allow their children to shout, scream, run around, bang into people's chairs etc and just smile fondly before turning back to their meal."

In our case we didn't walk in - we were already in, deliberately sat in a corner away from others just in case, and despite there only being two other tables occupied, and nine available these two ladies CHOSE to sit at the table right next to us, then gave us filthy looks because our babies were babbling, followed by moving to a table they could have sat at to start with as it was empty when they arrived.

Surely if a person has "had their fill of rude, ignorant or just downright gormless parents" (none of which I happen to be) then THEY ought to have chosen to sit at one of the other eight tables away from us - rather than sitting at the one directly next to us?? Call me weird - but I would think it's logical that if you don't want to possibly be disturbed by children you don't sit as close as you can get.

Or maybe they just enjoy having something to turn their noses up at?

I don't care whether other people have had "their fill" - that doesn't give them the right to haul their judgey pants up about my child when she has NEVER misbehaved in a restaurant, and wouldn't be allowed to remain in one if she did.

PropertyNightmare Thu 04-Oct-12 14:57:17

Yanbu. A tantruming or screaming child should be removed from the venue if it won't shut up! Many times dh or I have taken ours outside for a walk in this situation (even if you do have to leave your meal for a bit!). It is basic courtesy to do so.

minipie Thu 04-Oct-12 14:26:17

Or maybe it's just that nobody thinks their child is that child sarah wink

sarahseashell Thu 04-Oct-12 14:13:41

mintyy yes I am surprised that it seems fairly unanimous that IANBU given the number of times I have seen this sort of thing - perhaps it's just that none of them are mnetters grin

I agree that the ones who disregard other diners are making it harder for everyone else - it is horrible when you've turned up with your bag of toys and restaurant-friendly-ish child and you get catsbummouth from people.

I am shock about the child taking food from a plate, the ones scootering around coffee shop and the one playing by the doors to the kitchen shock shock

The ones prompting me to make this post were waking a baby on another table, standing on chairs, running round and making a racket screaming etc while their mums were happily chatting, seemingly completely oblivious. I did do hard stare and probably tutted grin

5Foot5 Thu 04-Oct-12 13:40:08

Miggsie "My pet hate is when a group of parent come in, park their entire set of kids at one table and retire to another part of the restuarant so they can have a child free meal - sadly the rest of us didn't."

Yes that has happened to us!

We went out for a Chinese meal recently and were shown in to an alcove off of the main dining room. There was our table, another table with a couple on and then a larger table with eight little girls having a birthday party. The adults with them had taken a table well away in the main part of the restaurant. Now the little girls weren't badly behaved and their was no screaming, but they were certainly boisterous, excited, quite noisy and did a lot of getting up and down and messing around. It seemed a bit off to me that their adults got to eat in peacse while we had our meal disturbed.

OP YADNBU. I think many parents ignore their children while they chat to each other and of course the kids get bored and play up. We always made a point of including DD in any conversations and making sure she was enjoying herself too and we never had any problems.

I think some people expect the worst when they see a child in a restaurant though. We were once staying in a slightly pretentious hotel in the Lake District when DD was about 6. The manager was clearly a bit ungappy about having a young child in his dining room and claimed the only free table was at 6:30pm when the restaurant opened then put us right in the corner. When he saw for himself that our DD was a perfectly civilised diner who new how to behave in restaurants he was all over us. Bit of a Basil Fawlty actually

Jusfloatingby Thu 04-Oct-12 13:36:55

I know it must be annoying when you get dirty looks from other diners the minute you walk in to a restaurant with your children.

But those diners have probably had their fill of rude, ignorant or just downright gormless parents who allow their children to shout, scream, run around, bang into people's chairs etc and just smile fondly before turning back to their meal.

It's the usual story of everyone in a group being tarred by the behaviour of an annoying minority.

bubalou Thu 04-Oct-12 13:17:59

I haven't read the rest of the comments but I hate this too. Nobody minds small babies - there's not much you can do but our local pizza hut is the worse - I have seen it all.

Kids running round playing tag, drawing on walls with crayons and throwing tomatoes from the salad bar at each other!

Yes I am going to be judgey pants to these people - control your kids!!!

dikkertjedap Thu 04-Oct-12 13:08:12

and here I mean noisy adults ...

dikkertjedap Thu 04-Oct-12 13:07:52

YANBU and it is equally unsociable for people to have very loud birthday parties or other type of parties in a restaurant with other guests ...

hazeyjane Thu 04-Oct-12 13:03:49

Sometimes (rarely in our case!) there is a situation though when eating out is necessary, if there is a group of you going out for a meal for an occasion for example. I think sometimes people can be a bit cat bums mouthy over just a bit of noise or mess. I'm not talking about eating out in the evening.

perfectstorm Thu 04-Oct-12 12:50:16

Having said that, I've also noticed several people who ask to be moved as soon as we sit down, and they see the party have a small child. It's understandable, but he actually behaves rather better than some men opposite having a business dinner did this week. In fact DS asked us quietly why they were being so noisy, he thought you weren't allowed to be like that in a restaurant?

Better manners in general would be a good thing, I think.

It's age, isn't it.

perfectstorm Thu 04-Oct-12 12:47:54

DS went through a phase when he was overwhelmed by restaurants and behaved appallingly. We stopped going out for meals for a year. It was a pain, but it wasn't forever. Now, with appropriate toys and attention, he behaves beautifully. We've eaten out twice this week, once in a smart restaurant, and he was angelic.

Agree that when they aren't able to behave, you eat at home. It's antisocial to do otherwise - eating out isn't an essential activity.

minipie Thu 04-Oct-12 12:43:06

the thing is some children are just a bit more erratic or screamy or difficult to control, and it isn't all down to lazy parenting

I agree, some children will act up in restaurants despite the best parenting in the world. But, I think that if you are unlucky enough to one of those, then you shouldn't go to restaurants (except the most family friendly ones). Harsh perhaps but I think it's just one of the sacrifices involved in having children.

AllPastYears Thu 04-Oct-12 12:37:19

"At the next table were a family and the children were in their pyjamas . Not only that, they were wandering round, or playing on electronic games, and I remember the absolute FINAL STRAW was when the parents started singing "Heads and Shoulders Knees and Toes". "

So Letty, tell me a restaurant and time where that would be appropriate - unless they'd booked the whole place!

Miggsie Thu 04-Oct-12 12:25:40

My pet hate is when a group of parent come in, park their entire set of kids at one table and retire to another part of the restuarant so they can have a child free meal - sadly the rest of us didn't.

DH and I left a restaurant and refused to pay when we got a crowd of badly behaved kids next to us.

LettyAshton Thu 04-Oct-12 12:02:15

It does depend on the restaurant and time, as well.

Some years ago dh and I went out for a meal at a very well-regarded and expensive restaurant - had babysitters, dressed up, looking forward to it and so on.

At the next table were a family and the children were in their pyjamas . Not only that, they were wandering round, or playing on electronic games, and I remember the absolute FINAL STRAW was when the parents started singing "Heads and Shoulders Knees and Toes". angry

hazeyjane Thu 04-Oct-12 11:51:15

Can I just say though, that whilst I agree that if your child is screaming the place down, running amok etc, then yes you should leave, there is a bit of the 'well my children can behave so everyone's children can behave' about this thread, and the thing is some children are just a bit more erratic or screamy or difficult to control, and it isn't all down to lazy parenting.

As I said earlier in the thread, on one of the few occasions that we took ds and the dds for a meal in a restaurant (for a friend's birthday), we took it in turns to take him for a walk, but we still got a couple asking to be moved and giving us filthy looks whilst ds ate his lunch (and I wasn't just imagining it because I tried to apologise to the lady, when she looked over and shook her head, they then asked to be moved to a different tableblush),it is difficult because i think we have got used to him sometimes screeching when he is frustrated and can't communicate what he wants.

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