Mumsnet Talk

to the poster who thinks there is no one daft enough to wash a pet in the dishwasher......

wasn't there an animal (small dog I think) killed not that long ago by someone thinking they could dry it in the microwave?

We may laugh at the nanny state and elf and safety, but in many cases its because too many people are incredibly stooopid!

I ironed my bump once whilst pregnant but it was accidental - I'd forgotten it was there I thought that was pretty dumb of me but to do it deliberately would have been a whole new level of stupidity!

On a new iron 'do not iron clothes while you or another person are wearing them'...please tell me no one was ever stupid enough to actually do that!

ROFL at "elf and safety" on title... Perhaps elves have a tendency to stick fingers in their own eyes when taking photos? :P

Ok, this thread is making me PSML. Here is my favourite from my medicine cabinet :

Warning, may cause constipation on an anti-diarrhoea medicine...

And some blinders from the DC's toy instructions :

Beware clothing involvement on a badly translated set of instructions that i think was translated from Japanese from a toy RC car.

Do not point into the sky on a children's telescope.

Be wary of accident in non-light on the instructions of a glow in the dark toy.

And, of course, contains milk on a 4-Pinter of, well, milk.

I get the need for a warning of allergens, having a DC with a dairy allergy, but even a fool like me knows that milk will contain MILK.

Once had a tiny radio controlled car where the leaflet had been translated from (I think) Japanese. It said one should "beware quilt involvement".

We bought a dishwasher a few years back that had the longest list of ridiculous don'ts ever. They filled a good page of the manual.

Some were -

Do not stand on the open dishwasher door.

Do not allow children to climb in the dishwasher or swing from the basket racks.

The dishwasher is for the washing of cutlery, crockery and kitchen utensils only. Never wash other items in the dishwasher. (to be fair I did used to put the DD's bath toys in it, which makes you wonder how many other people are disregarding the warnings!)

Do not put porous items in the dishwasher or plastics which are not dishwasher safe. (socks wrapped in clingfilm, maybe?)

Never wash pets in the dishwasher. (WTF?? Who would even consider this as an idea?)

The above is only a small selection

mateymoo I know this one! Some woman bought an RV which had cruise control, was driving down the motorway, put cruise control on, and went to make coffee. Obviously ended in an accident! Then she sued the company.....and won!

My oh works in health and safety so gets the full round up of these stories. You won't believe some of them!

Luckily for me, oh is sensible but not over the top with health and safety as you might expect!

I am pmsl at some of these though.

Pfft nanny culture!

Have to add my agreement to the criticism of ridiculously hot coffee, not just in McDonalds. Whilst not wishing to drink tepid coffee, I find normal boiling point to be quite acceptable with enough room in the cup to put in some cold milk.

@MateyM0o - there was a case, unless it is an urban myth that I am repeating as fact, that an American couple bought a large camper-van style vehicle, put it on a cruise control, left the driving seat, and then sued the manufacturer when the vehicle subsequently crashed, as they thought "cruise control" meant they didn't actually need to drive/steer/brake. Hence the warnings in the manuals now.

Do not turn upside down - on the bottom of the packet. (fudge pudding)
I kid you not.

At the Olympia horse show - warning on the way in that the performance has live animals!!!!

On a frozen apple pie for home baking:
"midway through cooking time, turn pie - ROUND NOT OVER"

I wonder how many people welded their tasty fruit dessert to the bottom of the oven, before they changed the labelling?

"Do not microwave."

On an ipod dock.

On shampoo, "do not drink". A friend pointed out to me that I was working with people with learning disabilities at the time and they may have tried to drink the shampoo. I pointed out that most of them couldn't read.

these warnings are even funnier when they are badly translated from the original eg "do not be ironing the clothe when on the body"

On skiing insurance - insurance will be invalid if the individual causes damage to, or is damaged by, unauthorised use of nuclear equipment. Didn't see a lot of that when I was up the alps, but I suppose someone has for them to need to pop that on there!

"Accidents with chainsaws are rarely trivial"


Gosh, I would never have thought it.

ages ago I bought a pizza from M&S that said on the back "caution: may be hot when cooked." I loved the possibility of doubt that was introduced with the may be hot. It would be confusing if it wasn't, wouldn't it?

The local infant school has a sign on their pond.
"Warning deep water"... the pond is about knee deep in reception age.

Dm's sleeping tablets: "May cause drowsiness"

I can't remember which medication it was, I think it was a cough medicine. But it was for ages 1-6yo: "May cause drowsiness. Do not drive after taking this medicine". Ds read it and said hopefully. "I haven't had any. Can I drive now?"

By which time we'd have been in A&E because climb everything DD1 would have found it!

Display Screen Equipment training at work
"Do not forget to blink"

Bunting same here. And if I didn't, I'd still be drinking my morning brew at lunch.

On a box of paracetamol: contains paracetamol.

And my favourite ever, although it's more common sense really:

On the label of a small toy zebra: do not iron.

Leicester council is facing a £70K bill after a warden fell and injured himself putting up health and safety signs!