Was told some shocking/sickening news from the social worker yesterday.(34 Posts)
A few of you may remember, I've been on here before, explaining how my child was adopted out against my will when I was very young (adoption was completed in 2002 on grounds of possible future emotional abuse due to some self harm I did).
I'm now happily parenting my two younger children who are aged 1 and 4.
We had social services do a Children in need needing breifly this year, as my older son is disabled and we had housing issues (tenancy terminating due to it being a recently diseased relatives tenancy) the housing issue is now resolved.
We're now being discharged from social services and my son has a diagnosis of Autism so is now getting appropriate help :-)
On the social worker's final visit yesterday she mentioned that her request to close our case includes her view that I'm a very loving capable mother to my two youngest boys, etc, and my partner is equally caring and supported, so all good, thumbs up!
But what she also told me that after investigating the forced adoption of my first child, she found that the social services department have written that I had actually agreed to it.
I expected some allegations of not being good enough at the time, but to write that I signed my child over perminantly, of my own will!!
I cannot believe that they could write something so false.
Are you adoptive parents aware that such fabrications can be included in the files?
I am still utterly stunned by this news of them falsifying my son's record
And again, this is the fourth time i am saying that mistakes do happen. I believe that in a minority of cases the wrong decision is made. But this does not reflect what normally happens in child protection
And you are putting words in people's mouths, cjel didn't say anything about what ss did or did not do in your case and nor have I. Talking generally here
Both of us were also talking about posting adopted children's photos online (not right, not helpful), and your sons are not adopted
fighting, Its clear that you have had a rough time one way or another but for every case like you there are loads where vulnerable children are removed from families and adopted to protect them and they have good lives. Your children don't even seem to have been stolen they are with their father.I can't imagine your pain but yours is not a typical story. and surely it is not in a childs best interest to have their photos on these sites.
OP Hope you have the result you deserve and you son knows the truth and you have some sort of peace about it.xx
If you aren't suppose to talk about the case, why are you doing it now on Mumsnet? I have no idea why the judge decided about gagging or anything else in your case because I don't have access to court documents
I've said twice that in some inidivual cases mistakes are made and they are devastating. Mistakes are not acceptable. What I am saying is that mistakes are not the reason the vast vast majority of children come into care. Most children come into care becuse of dysfunction/neglect/drugs/abuse. The minority of cases in which mistakes are made do not add up to some national child stealing ring. I can tell you that having seen many profiles of children waiting for adoption over the years (plus adopting my own and talking with other adopters), I have never ever seen one profile, talked to one parent where there wasn't abuse/neglect/serious dysfunction. Not one.
I'm very sorry that happened to you, truly
But i stand by what I said upthread. Mistakes in individual cases can have a devastating impact on the family, but they do not add up to a national child stealing ring, which does not exist. And I think promoting sites like the one linked (or IJ's site) is misguided, putting photos of adopted children online is wrong
Have I had dealings? Yes, as an adoptive parent over about 16 years. Have people I know had dealings? Yes, known people who were reported to SS, disabled children in need, people who were being investigated because of child protection concerns, foster carers, other adoptive parents
Adoption targets were targets to get children who were already in care adopted, not get new children into care. Besides, they were scrapped a few years ago so an article from 2007 means nothing relevent in 2012
Mistakes may be made in individual cases, I'd be the first to admit that and there will be some cases where the wrong decision was made (perhaps OP's case for instance) but there is no national conspiracy to steal people's children, and anyone peddling that idea is talking bollocks.
And I reiterate that the posting of childrens photos online is misguided, unhelpful and wrong, and Ian Josephs waffles a load of badly worded copy and paste crap mixed with horrible advice like to protect child sexual abusers
And maybe those parents should think twice before putting photos of the children online, given that they aren't legally their children any more, they could get into trouble (several blogs/sites over the years have been shut down after doing just that) and it's paying no thought at all to the children's feelings.
Also, I have Googled forced adoption in the past, and the majority of the sites that come up contain waffle, crap and crazy. Like that Ian Jospehs, the man who thinks child molesters and sexual abusers should not be reported to the police because social services might get involved with the children
google forced adoption also there is some groups on facebook for the same thing
Is that not one of those websites where birth parents send in photographs etc of their adopted children so they can all get posted online. eg. this is my baby X who was stolen from me can anyone find her? etc etc
ETA - I've checked. Yes it is. Do you know how upsetting this is for the children when they a) weren't stolen and b) don't want to be found? Like my DD1 for example, several years ago. That's not directed at OP btw.
This is horrific and to think that Social Services are supposed to protect the welfare of children. This is just so heartbreaking!!!
I hope you are able to some how get contact with your Child. Good Luck x
That's all really awful I hope you can get the contact you would like with them.
You can request ur social services reports. I think u have to pay a small fee.... but my MIL requested hers from when she was a child as she was trying to piece her childhood together. Anything that is written about u...ie drs files, social service reports etc u are entitled to see. They may make it difficult for u... but persevere as it can be done! Wish u the very best if luck!
It's happening all over, did you read the forced adoption website?
I'm sure he has a nice life, the a-parents seem lovely.
Just don't want him reading b*** about me and possibly being hurt by thinking he wasn't good enough to be loved by me, or something silly like that
I don't know what the stupid * was playing at I know which professional would have written it, it would have been the same one trying to bribe me into signing him over by treatening that I wouldnt get any contact letters if I didnt agree to the adoption. I asked the a-parents if this was true when I met them and they were shocked and said no theyll always write to me.
This social worker also told me I'd be arrested for taking my son home at a time that it turned out he was in voluntry care anyway, so she would have been the one adding lies to his file.
Perhaps she thought that my son reading in future that his adoption was agreed to may be better for him. But that's no reason to play god and rewrite history.
I'm working on getting back in touch with my son and his new family, so they will know me before they go and read the storybook they have at SS headquarters.
I'm a busy woman I have a toddler and a disabled child who I'm devoted to, so I hope they realise that I won't be trying to abduct him, as long as he's happy, I am.
Obviously seeing him, though, would be fantastic.
Im so sorry for all you and your son have been through. And yes, i m well aware that Fabrications exist in official files and even in court records. The secrecy that is supposed to protect the child has ended up concealing many miscarriages of justice
You have done so well to build a new life for yourself and your younger children. I wish you well
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.