What is all this bonkers talk on MN of people taking food with them to eat at relatives' houses...

(51 Posts)
moondog Wed 26-Dec-12 10:12:42

..because their precious off spring won't eat what is served??

Unbelievably ill mannered and more to the point, when did it all start ?
In our day you either ate what was put in front of you or discreetly left it.
No whingeing or demands for pizzas or chicken nuggets or bloody Pizza Express dough balls.
No wonder your relatives get the hump. hmm

moondog Wed 26-Dec-12 10:13:47

And yes, all children with ASD exempted.
Obv.

Um that would be me then, I take soy products for ds as he can't have dairy and I don't expect anyone to buy it on our behalf and I take something vegetarian as I don't expect meat eaters to cater for me.

TanteRose Wed 26-Dec-12 10:17:04

Aside from SN issues, I agree

Although I have been guilty of asking my parents to buy some Japanese style rice for my DCs when we go to stay with them - I bought them a rice cooker and we all eat Japanese a few times during our stay

ledkr Wed 26-Dec-12 10:19:59

Well I don't do it but I'd rather someone bought food for fussy eaters than expected me to come up with alternatives.
Some kids are fussy eaters. Mine aren't but I know friends who have tried everything and are pulling out their hair.
I'm not sure I'd want to go back to a time where kids had to put up or shut up either. It is good that they now have a voice and can make some choices.

moondog Wed 26-Dec-12 10:20:13

Yes, yes, excluding folk with dietary issues. Obv.
I have a diabetic child and this time of year is a bloody nightmare.
None of those.
And for extended stay, nowt wrong with suggestions of different meals and bringing other bits along
I'm just talking about folk who are plain rude.

OddBoots Wed 26-Dec-12 10:21:07

When people do this then there are bigger issues than Christmas day to deal with - either those issues are of a medical or disability nature (which you may or may not know about) or a general parenting one. Christmas isn't the time to confront parents about it as it just makes things worse regardless of reasons.

moondog Wed 26-Dec-12 10:21:54

'It is good that they now have a voice and can make some choices.'

Er no it isn't when exercising of said choice means small children announcing in loud voices that they find the lemonade/meat/vegetables/pudding not to their taste.

Sit down and shut up.

silverfrog Wed 26-Dec-12 10:22:24

I think you need a few more exceptions that 'just' ASD, tbh.

Dh & I are temptd to take stuff when we go to his parents, as his mother refuses to accept he cannot eat dairy, and cooks the same old stuff each time. the only way to get her to take notice would be, for eg, to take along something for him to eat and announce it loudly during the dinner party - she might be so embarrassed that she would actually take notice then.

sadly, good manners dictate that we can't do this - but it is so tempting.

for general fussiness purposes, then you are totally right - it is totally bonkers to be pandering to that degree. eat what you are given, or go hungry.

moondog Wed 26-Dec-12 10:25:41

And neither do I get out the megaphone and announce that a dwelling has to be cleared of sweet thnigs and visitors to our dwelling frisked for same.
My child simply has to deal with the fact that while everyone else consumes their own weight in chocolate, it's not a good idea for her to do so.

She just has to live with it.

spababe Wed 26-Dec-12 11:12:30

I take food because one child has allergies and one is fussy to the point where he can make himself retch if there is something on his plate he doesn't like and he tries to be polite and eat it. I prefer to relax during a meal not sit there on the edge of my seat hoping my child doesn't retch.
Don't judge unless you have been there!

I've (thankfully) never been to PIL for Christmas but they serve no veg (occasional salad bowl between 4 adults) . My bum literally heals up for the lack of roughage. (I take grapes and apples for the DC to eat)

"Will they (the DC) take chicken?"
"Yes"

She dishes up something that looks like vomit (I'm assured it's tinned chicken in sauce)
Even my DD who eats anything won't touch it.

freetoanyhome Wed 26-Dec-12 17:48:48

years ago I'd pack extra as MIL's idea of a Xmas meal was 2 roasties each and about 5 peas. She has eating issues. We were starving and ended up at an open kebab shop!

NotAnotherPackedLunch Wed 26-Dec-12 18:03:07

freetoany are you my SIL? grin
My MIL is now busy trying to pass her eating issues onto DD. angry

queenofthepirates Wed 26-Dec-12 18:04:45

I take food with me because my mother and step mother could burn water. They are atrocious cooks and I would literally starve otherwise.

That said my mum made a lovely trifle today. I think I found some red cabbage in it though.

naturalbaby Wed 26-Dec-12 18:08:28

yanbu for general fussy eaters.

I'd rather relatives just dish up what ever the adults are eating in smaller portions instead of buying 'kids food'. Although I would have preferred that she let me know it was sherry trifle so I could offer my dc's an alternative for pudding before she dished up a huge bowl for each of them.

freetoanyhome Wed 26-Dec-12 18:14:06

clearly packedlunch. Did you get just the one pea?
grin
and yeah, she has passed it on to my kids. Told them all women should be 8 stone. ffs, I'm 5'9 and 11 stone. She nearly died when I said that out loud. And she bought me chocs for Xmas.
We no longer visit the house of no food!

NotAnotherPackedLunch Wed 26-Dec-12 18:28:04

freetoany - she cooks one small potato each and one extra for the bowl, and everyone just sits and stares at the last desperately lonely potato accompanied by a chorus of grumbling stomachs.
How did you protect your DDs from her issues? We also avoid eating attacks hers whenever possible, but she imposes her views on DD wherever we are eating.

swanthingafteranother Wed 26-Dec-12 18:29:31

queen loving the trifle wink

I went to a big buffet today, and there was literally nothing for a vegetarian two year old to eat. Well apart from some crisps.My brother is not very switched on about food and he was in charge of his daughter today as her mum is at the hospital with little brother. At one point he was feeding her treacle tart and crisps. Now in his position I would have felt actually quite peeved that said relatives could not have provided something simple that a two year old could have tucked into. Or would it have been better for him to have come armed with a mild cheddar sandwich? I think that is an example of where it would be better for parents to bring some straightforward alternative to fancy grownup food, rather than kids just eating the junk parts of the menu?

swanthingafteranother Wed 26-Dec-12 18:33:42

Menu was very rich turkey pie, dressed green salad, treacle tart and mince pies. All delicious but not suitable for many children under 7. There were mini sausages and crisps and grapes suitable for kids. But children can't have those for every meal, and at Christmas it feels like there are endless meals of that ilk.

My son who has ASD had sausages, crisps and lemonade. I don't think it has done him much good sad I should probably have brought something normal with me. But he'll survive!

swanthingafteranother Wed 26-Dec-12 18:37:15

I went to a family wedding where the close relatives who were giving it, had to be persuaded that it was probably better to cater for the children separately as the 20 or so children coming were probably not going to eat the butternut squash tart tartin which was main course (it was sitdown dinner). In the event they were separately catered for with veggie lasagne which they mostly ate, and it was a great success! Instead of having 20 children who had literally eaten nothing but crisps and coke all evening.

swanthingafteranother Wed 26-Dec-12 18:39:33

Okay I see thread about relatives, rather than functions. Still, it is depressing how it is possible to go to Granny and find she cannot provide a meal that you will kids will touch a mouthful of, not due to fussiness you understand, but just because it is completely unsuitable. This has happened to me at lot at my mum's. She thinks children only eat sausages.

freetoanyhome Wed 26-Dec-12 20:59:25

sadly packedlunch one of my daughters developed anorexia. Direct result of MIL far as I'm concerned. Its why we never see them anymore.

NotAnotherPackedLunch Wed 26-Dec-12 21:13:19

freetoany I'm very sorry about your DD.

Thank you for sharing. I will have to have a serious think about how I'm going to protect my DD from my MIL's attitudes to food.
You've helped me see that I'm not making a fuss about nothing. Thanks.

PoppyWearer Wed 26-Dec-12 21:24:20

My PILs don't "do" snacks or chocolate. Except for FIL's secret stash of chocs, hidden from MIL.

So I take snacks for the DCs to their house, because, y'know, a 16mo can't always wait from 12 noon to 6pm for food (call me crazy!). And chocolate for me because I luffs it to stop me from getting hypoglaecemic.

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