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Original poster

Help needed for poor MIL, DH is hopeless with present-buying!

51 replies

JKSLtd · 22/12/2011 15:18

DH is notoriously rubbish at buying presents for his Mum.
(she is an excellent MIL btw Xmas Shock pfgrin])

One year he rushed it in the Body Shop and ended up buying her a toiletry set...for men. She was upset though can laugh it off now.

I know she goes to loads of effort to think of things for him (and the rest of us) and has been thinking/buying for months.

I insisted this year that his family were his responsibility, though I caved and ordered Thorntons chocs for his aunt & cousins...Xmas Hmm

So yesterday he came home all proud that he'd found something perfect...a box of coasters.
Now they are rather lovely coasters & she will use them on her coffee table (well she uses others so assume she will), with a Union Jack pattern, in a nice box. But still...

On Christmas Day, she will have a mug from DS1 (the only DC old enough to get the idea of giving her something), something from FIL I guess, and a box of coasters.

He doesn't get that this might be bad, or make her sad, he says he spent hours thinking about what to get her - well he may have thought in abstract for hours, it's not like he thought how much she'd love these particular coasters then spent hours hunting them down.

So I've said I'll get her something else because I feel so bad for her. But what? She's on a diet so nothing edible.
I can go into town now or tomorrow (standard High St) or Asda or Waitrose/JL.

Any thoughts???

OP posts:
ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 22/12/2011 15:28

Scarf? - daytime one, not a woolly one
Jewellery?
Is there anything that she really likes but doesnt buy it very often because it's too expensive?
If she's a gardener, something for the garden?

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 22/12/2011 15:29

Oh, and 'tsk' at coasters. What was he thinking?!

mummymccar · 22/12/2011 15:34

Maybe a voucher for afternoon tea or a bit of pampering? Lastminute.com have some great deals on at the moment so it wouldn't cost very much at all.

Original poster
JKSLtd · 22/12/2011 15:34

I know! THey are these ones, nice and all but really....

He did get a scarf for her last year which was rather in-ter-est-ing colours, no idea if she really liked it or not.

Jewellery - well they go on holiday to the States quite a lot and FIL has bought her pricey pieces over there so not sure we can compete.

Possible a plant in a pot, but surely limited choice this time of year?
She loves family stuff, I got her a collage of photos of the boys a few years ago, think she liked that but I haven't done it since, ones with DD included could be good, not sure I could get that in time either.

I showed him some cashmere jumpers from M&S - I know she shops there so she could always take it back but he quibbled over the cost, silly man.

OP posts:
NatashaBee · 22/12/2011 15:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
JKSLtd · 22/12/2011 15:42

Thanks mummymccar - have had a look, can see manicures for 28 or pedicures for 35 but non-specific locations, not sure if there would be one close by her.

Maybe something from Past Times, we have one in town.
Or just a M&S voucher, but for how much?

BTW he's got his Dad a bottle of nice red wine & a CD (no idea what he didn't tell me) - he thought we might drink the wine on Christmas Day, i was totally Xmas Shock at that plan, really he is dense. Good in so many ways but not this one.
And yet he's good at buying me presents, most of the time.

OP posts:
Original poster
JKSLtd · 22/12/2011 15:43

I know she has her photos pretty sorted, I should have done a collage with the 3 DC - never mind I will get one sorted for her birthday.

OP posts:
bronze · 22/12/2011 15:44

I would tell him after last year cost doesnt matter, hes got some serious making up to do. Get the sweater

Original poster
JKSLtd · 22/12/2011 15:45

Or i could try and print one out at home....just had a thought, I've got a spare frame I got the other day, if DH has any photo paper about I could do a home one - just sorted out my colour printer...oh feeling a brainwave coming....Xmas Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
JKSLtd · 22/12/2011 15:47

Damn, just remembered my iPhoto doesn't work atm, grrrrrr!

Can't access photos that are saved and can't get at photos on my phone.

Can I do a collage thingie online on my phone I wonder?

OP posts:
Original poster
JKSLtd · 22/12/2011 15:56

The collage idea is perfect but currently undoable. can't use phone as iphone doesn't have flash and the collage website needs flash.

so check M&S - i can still get the jumper delivered tomorrow for £50

it's this one in a camel colour i think is her style. (i hope).
Of course we'll keep the receipt but obv with the discount she won't be able to get a like for like replacement unless they keep the discount for longer will she?

OP posts:
Original poster
JKSLtd · 22/12/2011 15:57

Oh and I just checked with him and he said 'if you feel you need to then do it, but i really think it's fine what i've got her'

OP posts:
Original poster
JKSLtd · 22/12/2011 16:04

Should I get the jumper? Feeling unsure now...

OP posts:
GlaikitFizzEggNog · 22/12/2011 16:06

I've got MIL plant pots with a bulb in it. Amarythis?? Can't check the box because it;s wrapped up. Along with a hamper of goodies (she doesn't get out much so food and house based gifts only!)

SantasNutellaFairy · 22/12/2011 16:11

If you think it is something she will like, go for it.

Original poster
JKSLtd · 22/12/2011 16:12

Well even if my choice of colour is off, Im pretty sure she'll like the idea of the jumper so may have to change it, just worried that if she goes back to change it, she won't be able to as the price may have gone back up - it's some percentage off at the mo.

OP posts:
LikeAnAdventCandleButNotQuite · 22/12/2011 16:20

Depends what you usually spend on her. If you regularly spend £50 on her it would be nice to get the jumper. However, if you usually buy 'token gifts' which I think the (very beautiful) coasters are, then don;t add the jumper.

FWIW, I buy 'token gifts' for everyone for christmas. I spend more for their Birthdays. In my family, I would give the coasters along with maybe a Chutney/Port set, or a matching Cushion (if it suits the style of the room).

I'd decide on the jumper based on what you usially spend. Surely, if DH is saying not to spend anymore, he may usually give only a token gift?

LikeAnAdventCandleButNotQuite · 22/12/2011 16:21

SHould also add, I bear in mind what people who are opening gifts together are getting. EG, if MIL opens the coasters, and FIL gets (eg) a Digital Camera, then that would not be appropriate. But, if FIL is getting a CD, he may feel put out if you get MIL a Cashmere sweater as well.

Original poster
JKSLtd · 22/12/2011 16:23

Well he quibbled the cost of the jumper in the first place but now it's not cost he just feels that the coasters are enough.

I'm just trying to picture the scene on Sunday when that's the sum total of what she gets to open from her son - her other son (BIL) lives in Oz and I would imagine hasn't sent anything, hopefully will be proved wrong there.

And she will be doing most of the cooking work if we're honest so pushing the boat out a little i don't feel is too extravagant for her.

It's more than I would get my Mum, spend closer to 10/15 per person but I just wouldn't give a box of coasters....

OP posts:
Original poster
JKSLtd · 22/12/2011 16:25

Oh that's true....he gets a bottle of wine and a CD. But wine may have cost best part of £10 if not more I should think, then a new CD...another tenner?

THing is he doesn't mind, doesn't put in the effort of present buying for anyone else, she does. Oh i can't make up my mind!

OP posts:
Original poster
JKSLtd · 22/12/2011 16:25

And you still wouldn't give just the coasters would you?

OP posts:
Katisha · 22/12/2011 16:26

Get her the jumper. She sounds like she deserves it!

Original poster
JKSLtd · 22/12/2011 16:28

I think she deserves it too, or certianly more than the coasters on their own.

OP posts:
Xmasbaby11 · 22/12/2011 16:28

It's not really a big deal, is it. It's only an xmas present - let MIL deal with it!

G0ldenbrown · 22/12/2011 16:29

The boots photo booths can do collages. You just pick the photos you want and it does it for you. Got one for a mate last year

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