Jokes for children

Ever been put on a spot to tell a child-appropriate joke? It's never a bad idea to have a few classics up your sleeve, so check out this collection of 20 of our favourites from the Talk boards. 




  • What's brown and sticky? A stick! Lucycat

  • What do you give a sick pig? OINKment! Tomcat

  • What's black and white and goes round and round? A penguin in the washing machine. Portofino
  • Why didn't the skeleton go to the disco? Because he had no body to go with! Misspopov

  • What is a pirate's favourite letter? Arrrrrrrrrr! soupadoula

  • What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea! Bouncingturtle
  • What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea! Bouncingturtle
  • Why couldn't the car play football? Because he only had one boot. Thingamajig
  • What do you call a man with a boulder on his head? Squashed. Cointreauversial
  • What's yellow and scary? Shark infested custard. Happypiglet
  • What does a policeman put on his toast? Traffic jam. Bearandcub
  • What do you call a smelly fairy? Stinkerbell Wewishyouamerrynamechange
  • Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because he wasn't peeling very well! Franceshouseman
  • What do you get if you cross and dinosaur and a firework? Dinomite. Thewhingingdefective
  • What did the hat say to the scarf? You hang around and I'll go on ahead. Chasingsquirrels
  • Where do cows go on a saturday night? To the MOOOOOOOOvies  MamaMaiasaura
  • Why wouldn't the crab share his sweets? Because he was a little shellfish! Saffy202
  • How does an elephant ask for a bun? [Put arm up to nose and make like you have a trunk...] Can I have a bun please?  Ellbell
  • What did the policeman say to his tummy? You're under a vest! Bluebellwood
  • What do you get on the beach with a witch? A sandwitch. Starbear

Last updated: 7 months ago