19 jokes children will love

child laughing

Ever been put on the spot, asked to tell your child a joke and failed miserably? Yup, us too. But don't worry. This collection of howlers taken from the Mumsnet Talk boards has got you covered, and will have your little ones hailing you as The Next Big Thing in comedy in no time.

Q. What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

Q. What do you give a sick pig?


Q. What's black and white and goes round and round?

A penguin in the washing machine.

Q. Why didn't the skeleton go to the disco?

Because he had no body to go with.


Q. What is a pirate's favourite letter?


Q. What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No idea.

Q. What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

Still no idea.

Q. What do you call a smelly fairy?



Q. Why couldn't the car play football?

Because he only had one boot.

Q. What do you call a man with a boulder on his head?


Q. What's yellow and scary?

Shark infested custard.

Q. Why did the banana go to the doctor?

Because he wasn't peeling very well.


Q. What does a policeman put on his toast?

Traffic jam.

Q. What do you get if you cross a dinosaur and a firework?


Q. What did the hat say to the scarf?

You hang around and I'll go on ahead.

Q. How does an elephant ask for a bun?

[Put arm up to nose and make like you have a trunk…] Can I have a bun please?

baby elephant

Q Where do cows go on a saturday night?

To the MOOOOOOOOvies.

Q. Why wouldn't the crab share his sweets?

Because he was a little shellfish.

Q. What did the policeman say to his tummy?

You're under a vest.

Q. What do you get on the beach with a witch?

A sandwitch.