17 things you'd never have said before you had kids

How could you POSSIBLY have known what was to come? 

Washing machine


1.  "Do you have any change for the tooth fairy?"

2.  "Don't put that chocolate biscuit in your bum please."

3.  "My knickers aren't your mankini."

4.  "People can't become cars."

5.  "The fish doesn't eat sausages, but well done for thinking of him."

6.  "We DO NOT moon Grandad."

7.  "Oh lovely, here's a Harvester with a playground."

8.  "Why do you have tinfoil up your bottom?"

9.  "Don't lick that window."

10.  "We don't get our willies out in Sainsbury's."

11.  "Let me just sniff this nappy."

12.  "One more raspberry and Peppa Pig dies…"

13.  "Let your sister out of the washing machine NOW."

14.  "Please don't eat Daddy's jacket."

15.  "No - you do not have feathers and neither does your sister."

16.  "Why is there a sock in the fridge?"

17.  "Yes, I'd absolutely love my in-laws to come on holiday with us."


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Last updated: about 1 year ago