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Talk Roundup
16 January 2009


FrannyandZooey was arguing with her mother this week and wanted the Mumsnet jury's decision on whether children should wear vests: "Apparently I am failing in my role as mother because I neglect to enforce vest wearing." "I am a vest addict," admitted chegirl, "I know there is no logic to it, but my kids are practically sewn into theirs until they are about five." Iheartdusty was another paid-up member of the vest police: "Without my input, DS would wear just his pants until he was shaking and all his skin turned blue." But not everyone agreed: "The only real reason for wearing a vest is to generate more washing," declared Robinpud, "Ditch the vests - it's the child equivalent of burning your bra." And Mamazon recalled the answer given by an eight year old when asked 'what is a vest?': "It's something you wear when your mum feels cold."

ComeWhineWithMe made a demand for fresh Perfect Firstborn confessions this week: "When DS started nursery I admitted to DP that I felt sorry for the staff. When he asked me why, I said 'because they have to give him back to me at home time and I get to have him all the time'." BlameItOnTheBogey admitted that, despite knowing it is irrational, she still feels sorry for other mums in her baby group: "They must see my baby and wish he was theirs instead." Moosmummie had an older friend who suffered badly from PFB syndrome ("the parent equivalent of beer goggles") but by the time she had her fourth "she ended up having him in the footwell of her car and the midwife had to pick the Wotsits off him".

If Mumsnet put together a rival to the Bounty Pack, what would it contain, pondered BouncingTurtle, suggesting: "A voucher for money off digital photo printing instead of that venture photography crap? A Mooncup!" "A mouse mat," suggested practical southeastastra, while Lulumama wanted "discounts for Boden/Monsoon/John Lewis". MadameOvary thought we should include a bumper sticker saying: "This too shall pass" while TheNinkynork suggested a sample of the mysterious Fanjo Shower Gel. "A new mum's guide to buggies by the Pram Ladies," was siriusmew's offering, while ComeWhineWithMe thought we needed to include "The little book of AIBU."

Am I being unreasonable to consider asking men walking really small dogs "Are you embarrassed to be seen walking such a shit dog?" asked MamaG. Policywonk's DS1 was very excited watching two men walking a tiny dog and shouted: "Look! A CAT!" RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion's DP's ex-girlfriend served the perfect revenge when they split - her Chihuahua: "He used to have to walk it twice a day." And MadamDeathstare recalled the day she killed off a good friendship after discussing how owners look like their pets: "She asked me [to guess] which type of dog she used to own. I said '...a Bassett hound?'"


LAUNCH PARTY - Come and celebrate the launch of Toddlers: The Mumsnet Guide. We're holding a launch party for our hilarious new book, packed full of YOUR wit and wisdom, at the Foundling Museum in London on Tuesday 3rd February, 6.30-8.30pm. If you fancy coming along and raising a glass (or seven), nibbling on a sausage roll and propping up meeting morningpaper (stampede!) we'd love to see you. Just click here, giving us your nickname. We have limited numbers so hurry - first come, first served!

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