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MUMSNET CHRISTMAS CARDS ON SALE NOW! Mumsnetters have made their choices and the winning Christmas Card 2008 is now on sale, thanks to the wit of WhereTheWildThingsWere and clever Boco and her crayolas. And if you need further persuading, all the money raised is going to Kids Company.

Talk Roundup
21 November 2008

Mark Warner

MadamDeathstare was encouraging us to share the least professional moments of our careers this week: "Please reassure me I am not the only one to behave less than professionally occasionally." Boco over-rehearsed her equal opportunities spiel for a job interview at a disability charity: "I messed it up and said 'I believe in equality of access for all life forms'." Whomovedmychocolate made a faux pas in the early days of Microsoft Outlook when she failed to realise that recipients of group emails could view her descriptions of address book contacts: "My apologies go especially to Piers the pompous p***k, Floppy D**k and Janet the bike." Califrau's dad once addressed a press conference on the Civil Liberties Lobby "and called it the Civil Liberties Lobberty throughout". And Chuffinell recalled her innocent days as a teenage bar tender when, after being told by a yokel that he liked his hot toddy 'with honey in', she "went to the kitchen and put a slice of onion in".

Teenspirit was all loved up this week and encouraged us to Text your dp/dh "I love you" right now and see what response you get, but admitted, "I just got 'what have you done?'" HRHSaintMamazon's chap is new, but she thought she'd give it a go anyway: "I can just see the colour draining from his face." Fiveplusbump got an unromantic "how much have you spent?" and daftpunk's other half was similarly concerned about finances - "I can't give you any more money". CharleeInChains was underwhelmed by "I love you too, car failed MOT BADLY - can you get me a potnoodle for lunch" but mimizan was gutted to receive nothing: "Feel like sending a second text, saying 'well??' but it looks a bit desperate."

Teddy heartbreak this week when Aimsmum's DD threw out her once-favoured White Bear, and later found him lying in the middle of the road: "I honestly could have cried!" Instead she just bunged him back in the bin, which appalled solo: "He was trying to get back to the people he loves and trusted. Don't let him down." But Aimsmum demurred: "Maybe white bear is loving the freedom, escaped from being abandoned at the bottom of the toy box, free to explore the world, share scraps with a ratty friend!" Sadly the binmen claimed White Bear before Ainsmum could retrieve him: "I did feel guilty, so I (ahem) jumped in my spotty plane and headed for the tip ... I went up to white bear and told him I had come to take him home, but he assured me that he wanted to stay, this was the life he had always dreamed of."

CHRISTMAS AT THE LONDON COLISEUM: English National Ballet returns to the Coliseum for the Christmas season. It opens with a glittering production of The Sleeping Beauty (3-14 Dec), followed by the last-ever performances of Gerald Scarfe's The Nutcracker (17-30 Dec), while Manon (2-11 January) provides the grand finale. Tickets start at £10. Call 0871 011 0200 to book.

Lowering the tone this week, Morningpaper encouraged Mumsnetters to rank Barack Obama, Nick Clegg, David Cameron or Gordon Brown in order of preference. "I am doing my pelvic floor no end of good just thinking about sex with Obama," drooled pregnant witchandchips, but was not so enamoured by Nick Clegg, "It would be one of those s**gs that happened because you went to a party depressed and got pissed too quickly." TheGoat just wanted to have Barack "four times; the rest can play with dd and clean the house" and beansprout also thought that a liaison with the President elect would last longer than with any of the British honourable members: "With Obama you would need to call in sick and have takeaway menus to hand, as you would be there for quite a few days." "This is so brilliant," chortled MrsThierryHenry, "I love it when MN gets intellectual."

Marital discord this week after MegaPhone managed to get bleach all down one leg of her DH's dungarees: "He'll go mad as they were his best pair!" "Are you married to Bob the Builder?" enquired MadreInglese, while KatieScarlett sniggered "Come on Eileen!" "How many pairs has he got?" asked LadyGlencoraPalliser, "And can you think of similar 'accidents' to get rid of the others?" "Ask him nicely, and I'm sure he'll sort it out himself," reassured Gladbag, "Can he fix it? Yes he can."


PAMPERS TETANUS CAMPAIGN - The lead up to Christmas is the perfect time to turn your thoughts to those around the world who are less fortunate, while also having some fun. That's why Pampers has set up the Regional Fundraising Project in aid of the UNICEF tetanus campaign. Visit pampers/mumsnet for more details.

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