I'm in complete and utter shock about this accusation

[chichi2026]

I don't want to bore everyone with the background (or out myself). Basically, I have been on the receiving end of a long campaign of harassment by my immediate neighbour. I was finally able to give a statement to police at the end of last year - then a few weeks later, her behaviour escalated to racism in January this year and after more waiting, she was charged with racially aggravated harassment. I have no choice but to continue living opposite her and it's been a few months of hell, but at least the Court date is finally approaching later this month. We live in social housing and the landlord has recently (after much lobbying on my part) decided to start legal proceedings against her. It's good news, but too little too late as the impact on me has been horrendous - and I'll probably lose my job as a result of it.

This tenant is younger than me and not the brightest - but she is extremely manipulative and has involved a couple of her friends (also neighbours) to increase the pressure of the harassment on me. It's taken me such a long time to get anyone to believe me about the ongoing situation and I personally feel that I have been disbelieved due to unconscious bias by the housing association. I try to see the best in people and I don't want to think this but I have so many examples of when I have been treated differently in very comparable situations.

My neighbour's friend was out in the garden at just after 3am today and was making a lot of noise. I opened my bedroom window and said (not shouted as I didn't want to wake everyone up) that she was being loud and could she please stop. This neighbour is very aware that her friend is due in Court this month for Racially Aggravated Harassment.

She responded by shouting "what?" and then got her phone out and started filiming (I wasn't, I was just speaking out the window). She started walking towards the area under my window. She then suddenly shouted, "what did you say, did you just call me a white bitch?"

I was totally confused and said no, what was she on about, then she started raising her voice, repeating the accusation loudly whilst still filming. She started fake crying and then looked at me and smirked. I then called 999 to report what had happened.

I can't believe it would be that easy to accuse someone of that and there is unlikely to be any meaningful police response to that. How do I trust the police as a woman of colour, knowing that we are statistically likely to be mistreated, yet the far right have now made out that the police don't care about white people because mistakes were made around one recent situation?

There is a two tier issue and it definitely isn't in the favour of ethnic minority people. If the dickheads protesting didn't attack the police they would have a much easier life.

Nobody wants to hear the reality. Brown or black people who report a crime are not going to get a blue light response. I rang 999 an hour and a half ago and have had nothing from them, even though I said that this person is likely to leave the area. That means that they can leave and I get no justice.

Oh ffs! Someone called you a name and you expect the police to blue light it round there? And you hassle them for 90 minutes to do so?
This sounds so far fetched it’s ridiculous

I can’t believe OP called 999 for this.

nd I personally feel that I have been disbelieved due to unconscious bias by the housing association.

but she has been charged?

Im sorry you are experiencing harassment from your neighbours.
I dont think what you described in this instances (a disagreement about noise) is an emergency /blue light response situation.
i agree with other posters that shouting out the window about a noise issue with a neighbour in the circumstances of waiting for a court case to be heard was really unwise and playing right into their hands.
As for the allegation of racism against you the false (white bitch, comment) how do you defend yourself against an allegation of racism ?
I hope the courts deal with what is happening to you and you can get on with your life in peace.
My advice to you is no interaction with neighbours involved or connected .
i hope the courts resolve the matter soon.
If not,id try to find a way to move ...

Oh I can!

But the police came out when the man from Southampton called 999 for a racist accusation.

Just take deep breaths.

im really sorry for what you’re going through. But you need to just deal with this calmly rather than panicking because you think there’s a racial element which will skew the investigation.

All you have to say is “it was 3am. It’s quite obvious at 3am here intentions weren’t good. All you asked was that she kept the noise down. You didn’t call her anything”.

Point out she is a friend of your neighbour who has been charged with racially aggravated assault.

The police can only take something to court with evidence. They don’t have any that you said what she accused you of. You’ve said yourself that it has taken months to get your neighbour charged.

Also buy ear plugs. Don’t allow them to try and wage a war on you and get you into trouble as retaliation. Easier said than done I appreciate.

Two tier is complete bollocks by the way. Policing is certainly unevenly applied, sometimes good and sometimes frankly terrible or appalling, but it wasn't something which began in July 2024 when Labour got in.

I had every sympathy for you until you starting accusing the police of racism/expecting a 999 response. Grow up.

.

But the point is that she is being harrassed, isnt it.

How very typical that some people on here are blaming the victim. ....shut up, dont over react, get ear plugs.....no I'm sorry. The woman sounds like she is being horribly harrassed. End of.

The incident you describe wouldn't have warranted an immediate blue light response from the police. You were inside your own home, and safe. Your colour has zero to do with the response you received. The police have to prioritise, and a blue light response is for emergencies only.

You are aware that this particular neighbour has been encouraging her neighbour friends, to annoy and harass you. The woman outside making a row at 3 am, was intended to cause a nuisance, because she knew you'd react. You did exactly what she thought you'd do, so you played right into her hands.

You need to keep a log of any anti-social behaviour, harassment etc. Date, time and factual description. Don't react. As hard as it is, don't react. Report to the police but don't react.

@chichi2026 if you have not already had your own independent legal advice - even if through the Citizens Advice Bureau - about your distressing situation, then I think you really should get some as quickly as possible. I am sure that they will tell you that it would be very unwise to ever poke a wasps' nest again.

Maybe you thought OP, that by reacting - apparently calmly - to your neighbour's friend's goading behaviour towards you in the middle of last night, that that might give you even more evidence against the horrible bully, and her friends. Unfortunately, as you didn't video the incident, I don't see how it could have helped you in this instance, as you presumably have no other proof of the initial disruption, or your subsequent exchange of words last night - unless you have any neighbours who witnessed what was happening, and are willing to give a statement?

I am also worried that you may have risked making things worse for yourself, as the police now know that you have, at least some of the time, had very unrealistic expectations of how you expect them, and potentially other people, to behave and/or react to any particular situation. This could - but I am not saying it would - lead the police to question how much you may have exaggerated any of the other times you have accused your neighbour of racist harassment. So I really do think that you need to get some independent advice on how to cope with any ongoing nasty behaviour, and what you should expect to happen after reporting any more harassment from your neighbour, or her friends.

Thankfully, I have never suffered from the same awful situation that you have found yourself in, but when I was at school I did go through an awful time of being bullied, including two particular girls threatening that they were going to beat me up sometime in the next few days. So I do at least have some idea of how scary and horrible it is to live under constant threat, over a period of time. By the way, OP, if you haven't already, it might be a good idea to let your GP know how you are at the moment.
Good Luck!

I’m sorry you’re going through this.
Having nightmare neighbours is awful 💐

They are trying to goad you into reacting because it makes leave look better - don’t fall for it.

Get a ring doorbell and just completely ignore them.

If they’re being loud and unsociable you can record the sound and make a noise complaint to the council.
Let another neighbour complain face to face.

It’s crap that I have to advise you to not stand up for yourself or live with disrespectful behaviour but you just need to not give them any excuse to turn things around on you.

Well... that escalated 😮 How did you manage to go from a neighbourhood spat to 999 to politcal ranting. Is your post designed to whip up the anti far righters or something?

Anyway, yes I have asked noisy neighbours in the past to please be quieter but I would never have done it if it was the person or their friends who I was taking to court. That was utterly stupid behaviour from you. And it wasn't a 999 situation either as you weren't in harm's way.

Did any of your other neighbours hear what happened?

I would like to add though that it doesn't matter what colour you are, the police rarely come out to a 999 now unless it's an absolute emergency. And also the case of Henry not being believed he was stabbed is absolutely diabolical. Basically, he was racially attacked and the question I'm asking is why are people allowed to carry these knives for "religious and ceremonial reasons". That's wrong on so many levels.

I’m perfectly calm, maybe you’re the one who needs to calm down?

Just because other people call 999 for moronic reasons doesn’t justify the OP’s misuse of 999 on this occasion.

Very instructive to see the glee of some posters sticking the boot into a PoC who has been racially harassed. What absolute turds.

OP whatever your race or ethnicity you’re not going to get a blue light response for this. It’s not racism, the complaint just didn’t warrant it - you weren’t in any danger. Can I gently suggest that since you have an imminent court date, you don’t antagonise your neighbour further. If a similar situation arises, a better idea would just be to film it without interfering and keep it as evidence of what you’re having to deal with.

Yes, but the point this poster is making is a reasonable one. The OP has stated she has been treated ‘differently’ by the authorities handing her complaint and believes it’s racism. It’s a fact that whatever your race or ethnicity you’re not going to get a blue light response to a 3am spat with your neighbour from a bedroom window - it’s not racism and yet OP sees it as such, so I think it’s reasonable to ask why she sees the actions of the authorities involved as racist.

I don’t see victim blaming so much as advice not to react to what is clearly goading by the neighbour and their friends. Their end game is to make OP look unreasonable - something they kind of achieved when she thought it appropriate to ring 999 and expect a blue light response. OP has an imminent court date and hopefully will get some justice and to that end if I were her, I would quietly film all such incidents without interference or comment, and present them as evidence of the harassment that is very clearly ongoing. It’s not a question of don’t overreact or get earplugs, it’s a question of keep your own counsel until the case comes to court.

It’s an awful situation and truly abhorrent that so little has been done.

i do think as the court date approaches you will receive more abuse. Has the police offered pre trial support?

if you are going to have any interaction with them I think you need to begin your own recording before you do so. You don’t have to have the camera in their face but framing the window, you saying ‘it’s 3:20am, I’ve been awoken by noise outside. I am now going to open the window and ask whoever it is to please stop (opens window)..’ gives you the evidence to counter.