I feel ungrateful, and want to cry.

[Homebirdy]

That’s it really. I keep feeling overwhelmingly upset. In reality I have a great life. Mortgaged, husband, children. But we aren’t that financially comfortable. DH works the best and most he can and has a pretty good career and I work part time, due to burn out I had to quit full time hours.

I can’t get my mind away from all of these things I want most, if not all are very materialistic:
New Sofa
Family Dog
Re-carpet the lounge
better furniture
nicer house (one day)
better car
good quality, well fitting clothes (I’m short with a very large bust and nothing fits me nicely or well, and I can’t afford a tailor)
More money, without sacrificing my own time that I use to ground myself (poor mental health)

I know how it sounds, and I know I sound ungrateful. But I feel like the majority of these things are quite normal things that normal people just ‘get’ with relative ease.

I find it really hard to just, enjoy what I do have.. which I know is a lot and some of the most important things. I just genuinely feel like when I get towards the end of my life I’m going to be gutted about what I didn’t achieve, more than what I did.

I know that sounds totally depressing I just needed to vent and put it somewhere.

When you get towards the end of your life you won’t care if you had a new sofa! You will care about if you were a good mum/ wife/ daughter/ friend, if you had good experiences and made memories with those you love.

you could try and up your hours or get a dog walking job and get your sofa on finance. Save up for carpets etc.

Considering what she’s written about people in social housing I wouldn’t be responding so nicely to her if I was you!

If you read my comment to someone else about this, I’ve lived in, and have family in HA housing. I’m posting my experience of living in a HA area… and those half decent people that live in HA with the other HA riffraff, will have the same opinion.

Not read everyone's posts but I think you need to tackle the underlying issues of why you feel you want these things. As you say you are fortunate to own a house, have a supportive partner and be able to work part time.
You mentioned therapy somewhere so maybe this is still something you need to work on and appreciating what you have got.

I have cats & foster cats/kittens so my next armchair/love seat or sofa will be a velvet one off marketplace or British Heart foundation shop 👏 I love a bargain & will buy secondhand or definitely wait for a sale

I’d suggest you start your days with mindfulness, particularly gratitude. You need to learn to appreciate more what you do have, than spend your mental energy thinking about what you don’t have.

it sounds as though you are very privileged, when you start to think about the things you are grateful for.

I feel you are probably still a bit burnt out or depressed. Did you have any professional support when this happen?
reality is even if you went back working full time, you and your husband double your income, you will always have something more you could buy. A even bigger house in an even nicer area, better clothes, more luxury holidays, it is never ever ending. So it is not what you have or not, it is you. You need to work on yourself, understand where this unsatisafcation comes from and fill it. More and better things won’t ever fill it unfortunately.

OP did you have a time in your life when you couldn't be sure of having everyday things? If so, it might have left a deep uncertainty inside you, and a need to fill it with stuff.
You may need therapy to deal with this, because there will always be more "stuff". The best thing is to face up to that emptiness inside you and find a way of healing it.

I do understand, I’m a carer for a disabled young person so don’t have much time or £ for myself .
new carpets ?? Would getting a professional carpet clean help ?
new sofa ? Get nice throws for your current sofa or if it really has become uncomfortable then search marketplace for 2nd hand .
better furniture ?
again marketplace , freecycle can be good or even the large charity shops .
well fitting clothes ?
well do you have the time to learn to sew and make adjustments to high street clothing? Do that !
family dog ?
so many little souls need a loving home so look to re home ?
or else if you want it all brand new then start a savings pot for the sofa , carpet and furniture.
another option wouid be interest free credit for new furniture, so many stores do that so if you calculate what you can afford per month then think about that

Loads of us work full time (while bringing up kids and paying for childcare, mortgage, food and bills) and still can't afford the things we want.... Even so, I don't think it's "things" that bring us happiness. See friends and family, have days out, do things you enjoy, find a new hobby, join a church, do some exercise.... these things can help with depression and burnout. Then maybe go back to working full time if you really still want those things....