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Worried my brother will become my responsibility if Mum cannot cope

277 replies

Shaunansco12 · 22/05/2026 21:38

I'm not sure if im in the right topic for this....
It's long and I think I just need to release some stress 😩.

My brother is 31yrs old still lives with my mum and has never had a job. My mum is 63 in good health but doesn't push him at all, hes diabetic and has been since he was 12 and my mum sort of babys him for it as hes has a few hypos that have sent him in hospital, my stresses have all come to a blow tonight even though its been playing on my mind for quiet some time. Im scared of anything happening to my mum and me having to put my brother up. Im a married 35yr old with 3 children with my own job and it scares the life out of me because obviously I can't see him out on the streets, hes never been interested in getting a job and I highly doubt anyone will take him on anywhere with no experience. Iv spoken to my mum about this so many time but she brushes it of and says he will just come and live with you. It's not that I dont love my brother but I dont no how I would cope with him, he winds my children up like mad and they dislike going to my mums knowing hes there. He acts like a child for example he kept taking my daughters phone of her hiding it and then getting my mum to ring it to see where it was, there's loads of things but to many to right down. What has made me like this tonight is my mum is wanting to move house and is actively looking and viewing houses, there is one going on my street that is 2 doors away from me within her budget and shes rang me tonight saying shes going to get a viewing on it, its not that I dont want to be living near my mum and it wouldn't bother me if she was on her own but shes not. My brother is such a grass and if anything happens hes straight up telling my mum about it, we live facing a field and im making up all sinarios in my head that I no would happen, like if my children are playing outside and they like to play fight my brother would be straight at that window telling my mum what's happening and she'd either go out or ring me. This sounds so pathetic I no. I just want to cry because I no she will try her hardest to get this house because its the exact layout of mine and she loves my house. Im just so scared for the future and honestly constantly on my mind that should anything happen id have to have him. I dont no what I want out of this message just someone to listen and tell me im not wrong for feeling the way I do. And I no my mum would expect it from me should anything happen.

OP posts:
MissRaspberryRipples · Today 16:20

Your brother is not your responsibility and your mum shouldn't really assume that he will just come to live with you if anything were to happen to her. He's not disabled he could get a job if bothered to try. You say he doesn't claim benefits so your mum is enabling him by providing for him when as an adult he should have his own means of an income even if it is state benefits. Sounds like he needs to grow up and your mum needs to lose the assumption that you'll be the one to enable him when she physically isn't able to any more

Casperroonie · Today 17:36

Shaunansco12 · 22/05/2026 22:05

I honestly dont need the money or anything and it would make me feel better knowing that I possibly won't have to house him.

Maybe not now but you never know. It would be ridiculous to turn down any money because your brother can't be bothered to look after himself. I bet your other brother's like whatever. No way he'd be giving up his fair share.

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