If you choose not to drive you are a pain in the arse

[Ophir]

Always lifts, always expecting basically chauffeured

Quite honestly the only time I've got a lift anywhere is when I've attended funerals. That situation where someone has died and their loved ones always say that everyone is meeting at the house at a certain time but don't tell you where the crematorium is. It always feels in poor taste to ask for more detail than that. Then on the day you find out that the actual service is a very long drive from the house. You end up in Dave's car because he has room and you'd miss the service if you went by public transport.

I’ve never pulled a sad face, never instigated asking for a lift, never manipulated asking for a lift. The OP has made a scathing generalisation about all non drivers (as have you), which is as offensive as saying all fat people are lazy. You (and the OP) know specific people who take the piss, that is all.

Some of the non-drivers will have invisible disabilities.
I've never learnt to drive because I've got dyspraxia, which isn't really the sort of thing that's usually noticeable unless the person mentions it (well unless you've ever seen me try to build flat pack furniture or use Google maps).
Luckily DH drives and I will get myself most other places on the bus/train including with small DC.

I don't drive because I have panic disorder. I'm actually supposed to give up my driving licence for that very reason. I haven't because I keep hoping that one day I'll be well again.

I wasn’t a natural driver when I first passed but was ok after lots of practice and local journeys. Seems like a waste of money otherwise.

In my experience it’s like car drivers don’t think pedestrians exist, or are another species. I’ve often said don’t these drivers ever become pedestrians themselves because they seem to have a them and us mentality, with little regard to pedestrians.

Everytime a driver doesn’t use their indicator or hurtles round corners or doesn’t stop when someone is half way across a zebra crossing (when did that become acceptable!), they show their contempt. There is no doubt in my mind that drivers see themselves superior to peasants pedestrians.

If you live somewhere with good public transport links then not driving is fair. Or if you are happy to cycle/walk then fair.

but yes I know so many people locally who choose not to drive yet are always begging for lifts. They seem to go through friends that drive, driving friend gets sick of their constant need and then they move onto the next victim and repeat.

i am all for helping people in need and giving the odd lift is fine but with some people it’s so often it gets tiring and piss taking!

^I don’t live somewhere with decent public transport.

I’m a non-driver, I did take lessons at one point (wasn’t very good) but had to stop for medical reasons (not that the reason for not driving should matter).
I walk/run/cycle/bus everywhere. Chose where to live/what jobs to apply for based on availability of public transport and decent cycling/walking routes. Will taxi if those options really aren’t available.
I very consciously (party due to threads like this) never ask for a lift and typically refuse if offered unless it’s some group situation or everyone travelling together, and if that happens I will always insist on giving petrol money, providing journey snacks etc. I do find some drivers seem to find it quite hard to get their heads round the idea that I’m perfectly happy cycling or whatever and try to insist on giving me a lift but I’m pretty stubborn and insist on doing it my way.

I gave up my licence for similar reasons (well I let it expire). The roads are better off without me on them.

You are sensible.
But believe me not everyone is….

You tell a lie; you have NEVER given me a lift, not once. You SAY I make it "make it difficult not to offer", but you've NEVER offered either. If I'm going to be blamed for inconveniencing you, I may as well make up for lost time.

I'm going to Aberdeen on Monday; please pick me up at 4 AM as we'll need to make an early start to get there and back from London in a day.

On a balance it's been a lot more non drivers that do behave this way (and claim they don't), maybe you're the exception

This is just so weird. I know loads of people who don’t drive. We both do and share a car. If there is a kids party or similar we would offer to take along some extra kids because it’s zero additional work for us and helps out a friend. Obviously they won’t give a lift on a different ocassion but they will do other things like help out with a teacher training day or a school pick up or feeding a pet when people are on holiday. Some people (regardless of their driver vs non driver status) just always accept help and never offer it. Most people reciprocate in some way. Might not be they offer the identical thing in return but they do the things they can. Honestly if you have a friend that has no give and take OP then just consider if you really want to remain friendly. No need to make sweeping generalisations about a whole group of people.

I can drive but I don't own a car as I live in inner London. I am very self sufficent and can get places using public transport or my own feet. If I am going somewhere completely out of the way I'll hire a car. But generally I prefer public transport - I can drink on a night out, I can sleep, work or read on the journey and I don't have to worry about parking.

I often find car owners offer lifts as they cannot conceive of someone using public transport as a preference. I recently went to a family funeral. I took the train and there was a bus every half hour from the station to the crematorium. Fine and easy. Upon hearing how I planned to get back various family members fell over themselves to offer me a lift back to the station as I could not possibly wait for the bus. In the end I reluctantly accepted as I did not want to seem rude.

Annoyongly the relative dropped me on the ring road about a 10 min walk from tbe station "because it was impossible to park near nearer" i bet they then moaned about me afterwards as well.

All drivers are lazy fuckers who never walk anywhere.

I’ll add to this… People who insist on being 1 car households for supposed financial and environmental reasons. They are all affluent double income professionals. Then whenever things are planned the one in 2 car household (me!) always end up driving “because DH needs our car”. I actually don’t mind and enjoy being the driver and chatting to friends in the car. And my lovely friends always make offers to pay for things like drinks, food out to cover fuel costs. It is a bit ridiculous though because they will say “it’s crazy running two cars, how expensive and bad for the planet” while being chauffeured by me.

I mean the solution is for all you saintly drivers is just to say no surely?

Similar age and the idea of not driving is inconceivable

I drive LWB high top vans. I am currently the only driver in my household most days so things like food shopping, driving exh to his doctors appointments, getting his medication etc I don’t have time to do all of that by public transport. For work as I work mainly in Central London then public transport is quicker, however today I am working around 40 miles away and going out of London so need to drive.
A lot of my work is reliant on me being able to drive

I don’t ask for lifts and don’t drive. I have legs and a bus pass. But thanks for you wrong opinion and contribution to pollution I guess.

Me too! I would never live somewhere that didn’t have its own train station. I can’t understand non-drivers who choose to live somewhere not easily accessible to public transport. I’m not keen on buses so a train station is no.1 priority when living somewhere. I’ve never lived more than a 15 minute walk to a train station ever. I didn’t enjoy driving and I don’t actually like travelling in cars generally. I would always rather get a train if I can. I’ve had some horrendous car journeys where the train option would have been so much better.

Do we live in the same place 😁

I 100% agree but it's a good life skill to be able to drive when required.

Same here. One of my house hunting non negotiables is walking distance from a station and a bus stop nearby (easy in London I know). I grew up somewhere where you had to be reliant on cars and it sucked really badly.

Obviously not true.

Ok but make sure the person doesn’t feel obliged to offer you a lift because they know you can’t drive. I feel awful if I know someone can’t drive and it’s so awkward if you don’t offer them a lift. I suspect people feel obliged often tbh

I often find car owners offer lifts as they cannot conceive of someone using public transport as a preference

Honestly I think there are drivers who just think it’s not an option at all. We have a friend with sons who are 13 & 16. Youngest’s weekend swimming has been moved so it now clashes with eldest’s football and their mum is at work at that time. She was saying to us she didn’t know how they’d manage. They live about 4 stops on the bus from the football. Maybe 20 mins trip total including short walk either end. We suggested eldest could just bus there and her immediate response was “oh but what if it’s bad weather”. I mean - coat? umbrella? not really an issue as he’s about to train/help with the minis outdoors for hours anyway?