If you choose not to drive you are a pain in the arse

[Ophir]

Always lifts, always expecting basically chauffeured

It doesn’t have any real impact on me, apart from the odd lift which I’m not bothered about but it does massively limit / restrict your life and I do wonder why people don’t … it’s nothing to do with me but I do wonder.

Yeah, but it's just one of those things.
When you do things with friends, you select places which make sense for the group. If you decide to invite vegetarian to a stakehouse, dog owner on dog nonfriendly day trip, an alergic to furry caffee, broke person on a shopping spree, unfit person on a big hike, ...

Husband is that you ? 🤣

Not true for most of the non-drivers I know. All very self-sufficient. But I will often offer lifts anyway!

Some people will be like this. Many wont. Before I drove I'd use public transport or get a taxi.

A lot of the non-drivers I know have health conditions like epilepsy which mean they are not allowed to drive. A lot of the drivers I know are bloody terrible at it and I wish they would use public transport.

I have neighbours who are incredibly smug about the fact they don't own a car because it's awful for the environment.

Instead they ask everyone for lifts constantly. The husband will come round and beg thar I must take their daughter to a party because they can't get there. 2 days later the wife wants to go to the shops and won't be able to carry bags home etc.

I have never actually seen them cycle or walk despite us living on the outskirts of a city. They get taxis when they can't snag a lift so their carbon footprint is probably worse than most people who have cars.

There's a distinction between 'giving a lift' and 'driving someone somewhere'. To me, a lift is when the person is driving there anyway and you ask if you can join. Most of what the OP describes is when they have to make a separate journey to go somewhere. I'll happily admit to being absolutely shameless about asking for lifts - but I get myself to somewhere that's on their route, and make a point of never making them wait (and always off petrol money and buy them a drink etc). Despite being shameless, it still doesn't happen that often.
Getting someone to go out of their way to drive me somewhere is something I basically never do (2021 when I had to be rescued having sprained my ankle is probably the last time), and if I found myself doing so on a regular basis would reconsider where I lived or whether I drove (have a licence, but not confident and no car).

I assume you also have a child going to the party, or are also going shopping? Because if not, I don’t believe you.

You're not wrong. It creates issues in the long run as well. I know a woman who never learnt to drive because the husband did all driving. When he had a stroke and could no longer drive it made her life much harder than it needed to be. It's an important skill.

Nonsense. If you live in a city and have a reasonable level of fitness there is no need to drive, and not doing so is better for the environment.

But I’m quite happy to give lifts? 🤷🏻‍♀️ Not all people have the privilege of driving.

No. I do have DC but not going to that event. They have no qualms! We live close to the centre so technically a drop to the shops is 5 mins in the car. It doesn't seem hugely unreasonable. If it wasn't accompanied by a lot of shade being thrown about us being car owners I wouldn't mind so much.

Trust me if you don't want to arrange somewhere civilised I won't miss seeing you there!

Does this also include old people that MN seems determined to get off the road

make inclusive plans - really?! 😂 You expect people to choose their wedding venues around the fact that you can’t drive as a fully grown adult?? Bizarre entitled behaviour

So hubby doesn't drive (epilepsy)
He sometimes asks for a lift- mainly with his running club friends who live one or two streets away and are going to the same event. Because sometimes getting public transport is long and difficult to places
But if it's under 4 miles we walk- I do drive but choose public transport and walking over the car regularly (and the 5 year old walks at least 2.4 miles a day often more)....

I suspect the OP is not talking about people who can't drive for any reason or people who don't need to drive, but people who won't learn simply because they don't want to and who cadge lifts off other people.

A friend's ex was a "CBA to learn to drive" type. He was a school caretaker, and one year he was called out to go back to the school late at night to switch the Christmas tree lights off. Being rural there was no public transport and taxis were as rare as hen's teeth, so my friend had to get her little girl out of bed to drive him to the school to switch the lights off.

My DH, who was a good driver, hated driving so much that he once walked an 8 mile round trip to the dentist rather than drive. It got to the point where he basically forgot how to drive and nearly knocked a pedestrian over on a zebra crossing. I have sinced changed the car and he has never driven my car. By now he wouldn't be a safe driver, yet I still resent him for just giving up and me being the only driver in the household.

We live in an area where public transport isn't that frequent and is often unreliable so we do need a car. Fortunately, there are more taxis than there used to be, but it is nothing like living in a city.

I do wish that the smug "I don't drive, I just use public transport" posters could be a little more understanding of people who live in more rural areas and who don't have the luxury of frequent public transport or readily available taxis.

No, the people who choose not to drive but expect lifts are a pain. Not the people who happily use public transport.

Not always true.

i have friends who refuse lifts and walk, cycle, bus or train everywhere.

on the other hand i have a MIL and a SIL who are quite proud of the fact that they 'have never needed' to drive, despite the fact that they expect lifts everywhere. DH will even drive to collect them when they want to come and visit us!!

Not a pain in the arsed... a saver of the planet.

OP you need to learn to say no just stop doing it

I do recognise those people exist OP but most non drivers are very self reliant and offer petrol money if they have to accept lifts. I knew early on I would be a terrible driver and never been able to afford it anyway. Now in my mid 70s ( still working) when I grew up in the country the public transport was quite good. I lived in London for many years, a car definitely not needed.I was widowed young and the children and Ihardly ever had to ask for a lift. We planned how to get to where we needed to go, public transport, foot , bike. I suppose we werent well off and didnt have a huge life then.We enjoyed what was available locally.We are all well travelled now though.

Except there is no public transport where I live. You couldn’t live here if you didn’t drive.

Funny how MN is full of people who never expect lifts but most drivers know a couple of people who end up giving lifts too. And yes, sometimes they don’t ask directly, but it’s that expectation. If i’m going that way, fine, but i’ve a couple of friends where i’m going a good while out of my way. I don’f feel comfortable with my non driving friend walking in the dark, which is what she will say she is doing rather than calling an Uber. It’s giving lifts home from clubs / matches for the kids whose parents don’t drive.

Friend’s DH doesn’t drive, won’t learn (for no good reason). Means she has to take the kids to all their clubs / school and always be the designated driver. She’s not happy about it but he refuses to learn. Selfish.