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AIBU in having said no to neighbour's sons?

457 replies

WednesdayAddams94 · 17/07/2022 13:32

So we moved into a flat about 2 months ago with our 2 year old. The last 2/3 weeks I've had the downstairs neighbour's sons asking me repeatedly if my son can go and play with them. For reference, I don't know them at all. I have briefly said hi to their mum a few times but that is it.) At an estimate, I'd say one of them is 11 and the other one, 12/13.

I don't have an issue with these boys but I do find it slightly odd they want to spend time with a 2 y.o considering they have nothing in common. These boys are kind of known for being a bit rowdy. According to one of the other neighbours, one of them put dog poo in her letterbox and they're generally known for hanging about outside all the time, getting into trouble, vaping etc etc etc.

However, since I didn't want to make things awkward between myself and any neighbours (I have said no to them before saying we were busy etc) I said sure, let me grab my things and we can all go out for a bit. (Communal garden) by that point, the eldest was getting annoyed and said he would be taking my son out by himself?! I declined, shut the door and thought that was that.

This morning, mum comes knocking saying what am I playing at, and what my problem is. Increasingly getting angrier. Shouting, swearing, I eventually managed to get rid of mum but only because my DP had returned from the shops by this point and told her to leave or he'd involve the police. I really don't think I am being unreasonable but mum has made me feel like I am? I am also concerned that they will not leave this alone. We only moved in 2 months ago so am worried my response will have caused so many issues for us.

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KatherineJaneway · 17/07/2022 14:49

daffodilandtulip · 17/07/2022 13:37

Sorry to be extreme but I immediately thought of Jamie Bulger

Me too

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liveforsummer · 17/07/2022 14:49

Sorry my son is only 2, he needs supervised by a known adult - and repeat as needed. Call the police if there's any trouble. How strange!

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goody2shooz · 17/07/2022 14:49

Well, if you had a purse with £500 in it you wouldn’t let those two unknown boys look after it would you? Your darling little boy is priceless! As a pp said, your dc is too young to be away with people you don’t know. End of. You’d have been completely UNREASONABLE to send him off with anyone from that family!

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Fernticket · 17/07/2022 14:49

daffodilandtulip · 17/07/2022 13:37

Sorry to be extreme but I immediately thought of Jamie Bulger

Me too.

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SinkingSwim · 17/07/2022 14:50

daffodilandtulip · 17/07/2022 13:37

Sorry to be extreme but I immediately thought of Jamie Bulger

I thought the exact same thing..

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tillytoodles1 · 17/07/2022 14:50

daffodilandtulip · 17/07/2022 13:37

Sorry to be extreme but I immediately thought of Jamie Bulger

Me too.

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mintich · 17/07/2022 14:51

Same, thought of James Bulger. I know ypu wouldn't, but don't let him out of your sight especially in the communal garden

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Wafflesnsniffles · 17/07/2022 14:51

Jamie Bulger was also my first thought.

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Imthedamnfoolwhoshothim · 17/07/2022 14:53

WednesdayAddams94 · 17/07/2022 13:37

After dealing with mum, she made me feel like I was accusing her sons of something. I really wasn't. I just don't want him out with just two teenage boys he doesn't even know. She just made me feel as if I was really out of line when I don't think I am.

You should accuse her of something. Whatever they want a baby for is not good.

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Munchyseeds2 · 17/07/2022 14:53

The mother of the boys sounds unhinged!
Of course you are right not to let them take your child to play....don't even question it

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Twixie2022 · 17/07/2022 14:54

daffodilandtulip · 17/07/2022 13:37

Sorry to be extreme but I immediately thought of Jamie Bulger

So did I 😥

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howdoesatoastermaketoast · 17/07/2022 14:55

jennyfin · 17/07/2022 13:45

So did I 😔

Well it's the most extreme end of where "I want to play with a 2 year old I don't know" could end up but there are lots and lots of (all too probable) hideously unpleasant scenarios before it gets there.

But yes entirely reasonable to think this is I want to play with your kid as a toy, not I want to play with your kid as an equal, and could lead to unkindness danger and harm for your child without supervision. There response tends to reinforce such concerns in my mind.

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hallodarknessmyoldfriend · 17/07/2022 14:55

No way would I be okay with this.

I would try to stay away from that family and if they keep bothering you, report it.

They sound horrible

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MRex · 17/07/2022 14:57

I'd feel incredibly uncomfortable with this and my DS is older. Playing all in a group outside and letting the little one join is nice. At best some 8yo might play with a 4yo out and about. Teenagers don't have any good use for toddlers unless they are paid to babysit. Honestly I would be really concerned about why they want the child. They haven't actually done anything wrong that you can report, but I would keep very well clear.

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Marvellousmadness · 17/07/2022 14:58

Yabu for even putting an aibu post op
of course you arent U!!!!
Bizarre that such old kids would wanna hang with a 2yo. Red flags x 282728292727363.

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IglesiasPiggl · 17/07/2022 14:58

I have three teenage boys so have known a lot of them in my time. Not once have I encountered one who has shown the remotest interest in spending time with a toddler, let alone insisting on taking him alone. That's very odd, and the mother's reaction to your refusal is just plain inexplicable

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WhiskerPatrol · 17/07/2022 14:59

daffodilandtulip · 17/07/2022 13:37

Sorry to be extreme but I immediately thought of Jamie Bulger

Same.

These kids and their mum sound rough as arseholes. Get a Ring doorbell and tape up your letterbox before you get a poo delivery too!

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FunDragon · 17/07/2022 14:59

I have a two year old. He saw some 11/12 year olds playing football in the park the other day and before I could grab him he ran over to try and join in their game.

They were very nice about it but they could not have been less interested in playing with him. Which I think is normal.

I don’t think it’s normal for two boys that age to be desperate to play with a toddler and I think it’s ever weirder for their mum to have a go at you for not being ok with it.

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roses2 · 17/07/2022 15:00

daffodilandtulip · 17/07/2022 13:37

Sorry to be extreme but I immediately thought of Jamie Bulger

Me too - their request is not normal.

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Imthedamnfoolwhoshothim · 17/07/2022 15:02

Look. I don't want to alarm you bet better safe than sorry right?

Do not ever allow your kids out your door without you having ahold of him the entire time.
In your arms, holding his hands.

Her response is not Normal. She Is not normal. She might just be your bog standard Jeremy Kyle dreg of society.

Or maybe not... and the maybe not os not good.

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Spanglemum · 17/07/2022 15:03

I agree with @Bunce1 . I don't think they necessarily have any sinister intentions but they are bored and looking for something to do. Perhaps would have asked for payment Sounds.like there's not much parental supervision and Mum gets aggressive and defensive.

Even if you knew them they are too young to look after a two year old. If they ask again, just say your DS is too young to be out without one of his parents.

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Hellsbe · 17/07/2022 15:04

Do NOT let your son anywhere near these boys. Their motives are not good!

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DowntonCrabby · 17/07/2022 15:05

She’s fucking batshit, I’d log it with 101.

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Goldencarp · 17/07/2022 15:05

That’s just plain weird. I don’t know of anyone that would let their two year old out without them, strangers or not!

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Sloebluewalls · 17/07/2022 15:09

if approached again you could just say that you don’t know them so wont leave toddler with them.

it’s very strange he wanted to play with the child alone and not with you present.

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