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AIBU in having said no to neighbour's sons?
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WednesdayAddams94 · 17/07/2022 13:32

So we moved into a flat about 2 months ago with our 2 year old. The last 2/3 weeks I've had the downstairs neighbour's sons asking me repeatedly if my son can go and play with them. For reference, I don't know them at all. I have briefly said hi to their mum a few times but that is it.) At an estimate, I'd say one of them is 11 and the other one, 12/13.

I don't have an issue with these boys but I do find it slightly odd they want to spend time with a 2 y.o considering they have nothing in common. These boys are kind of known for being a bit rowdy. According to one of the other neighbours, one of them put dog poo in her letterbox and they're generally known for hanging about outside all the time, getting into trouble, vaping etc etc etc.

However, since I didn't want to make things awkward between myself and any neighbours (I have said no to them before saying we were busy etc) I said sure, let me grab my things and we can all go out for a bit. (Communal garden) by that point, the eldest was getting annoyed and said he would be taking my son out by himself?! I declined, shut the door and thought that was that.

This morning, mum comes knocking saying what am I playing at, and what my problem is. Increasingly getting angrier. Shouting, swearing, I eventually managed to get rid of mum but only because my DP had returned from the shops by this point and told her to leave or he'd involve the police. I really don't think I am being unreasonable but mum has made me feel like I am? I am also concerned that they will not leave this alone. We only moved in 2 months ago so am worried my response will have caused so many issues for us.

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Flamingooooooooooooooo · 17/07/2022 13:45

Oh my god, I’m angry on your behalf!

I have a two year old, there’s absolutely no scenario I’d like her play with anybody that age unsupervised. It freaks me out that they weren’t happy you wanted to watch over them play.

nevermind what I wanted. My two year old would NEVER want to go off without her parents anyway? She’s just not secure enough in herself with strangers yet!

if they ask again “sorry, no, he’s too young to play with you.” And repeat. Repeat the same boring line over and over til they stop asking.

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fortheloveofcheesecake · 17/07/2022 13:45

daffodilandtulip · 17/07/2022 13:37

Sorry to be extreme but I immediately thought of Jamie Bulger

And me. It'd be an absolute no from me OP.

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jollygoose · 17/07/2022 13:45

yes my first thought was James Bulger they appear to have an ulterior motive
report to police if you have any more harssment.

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WhichBitchIsWhich · 17/07/2022 13:46

YANBU

If any of them come round again just smile sweetly and say he's a real handful, a proper little tearaway, you're sure she knows what it's like, you just can't let him out of your sight so he can't go anywhere without you.

That'll probably go down much better (yeah I know you shouldn't have to lie but sometimes it's the easiest way to keep things sweet!)

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rozzyraspberry · 17/07/2022 13:48

I would never have let my children out on their own with children of that age regardless of whether I knew them or not. In fact my youngest is now 14 and I wouldn't want him to have the responsibility of looking after a 2 year old on his own, you never know what might happen that!

I find the mothers response very strange - you didn't say they couldn't play with your son, just that you would go as well. Nothing to prompt her response.

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gogohmm · 17/07/2022 13:48

I'm wondering if it was her way of wanting to get to know you. Because your little one is young you would automatically stay and she was hoping to make friends. Not everyone finds it easy to ask another adult if they want to meet for coffee, far easier to ask for a play date

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rookiemere · 17/07/2022 13:49

God no, why ever would you even consider it ?

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GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 17/07/2022 13:51

Absolutely no way. Whatsoever.

i also thought immediately of Jamie Bulger.

The more likely scenario of course is that they just aren’t old enough to take proper care of him.

I don’t even let my 8 go out to the park or whatever with my 13 yo and she’s incredibly responsible. They need to be with an actual adult until they’re 10/11 imo.

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user143677433 · 17/07/2022 13:52

God no. That’s really weird behaviour by all of them. Massive red flags.

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RollerPolarBear · 17/07/2022 13:53

Your primary parenting role is to safeguard your child. Does letting him go out alone with 2 children you don’t know feel like it falls into the category? No - so it shouldn’t happen

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MrsMitford3 · 17/07/2022 13:57

daffodilandtulip · 17/07/2022 13:37

Sorry to be extreme but I immediately thought of Jamie Bulger

Sadly me too.

There could be an innocent explanation but it feels very off.
There could also be a not very innocent explanation and to be honest it's not a risk I'd be taking.

I wouldn't let two kids that age that I don't know take my dog out...

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RaspberryHoney · 17/07/2022 13:57

gogohmm · 17/07/2022 13:48

I'm wondering if it was her way of wanting to get to know you. Because your little one is young you would automatically stay and she was hoping to make friends. Not everyone finds it easy to ask another adult if they want to meet for coffee, far easier to ask for a play date

What?

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Somanysocks · 17/07/2022 13:57

daffodilandtulip · 17/07/2022 13:37

Sorry to be extreme but I immediately thought of Jamie Bulger

Me too

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Nomad916 · 17/07/2022 13:59

Do not let your son anywhere near them.

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ComDummings · 17/07/2022 14:00

CalistoNoSolo · 17/07/2022 13:35

How can you possibly think you're wrong in this scenario?

This ^

Literally nobody is going to say you’re being unreasonable and you know that.

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Mammajay · 17/07/2022 14:01

Just keep him close. Tell the boys and their mum, if they ask again, that he is shy. Sound like neighbours you need to keep distanced.

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Thesearmsofmine · 17/07/2022 14:01

YANBU
I have boys that sounds to be a similar age, they like babies/toddlers and will wave and say hi to them because they think they’re cute but that’s it, it’s not normal for them to want to take him out to play alone. I would be avoiding them as much as possible.

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Ottersmith · 17/07/2022 14:01

Oh god no way would I let him anywhere near them. Fuck that. You'll have to be firm with them. It's fucking weird.

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HoppingPavlova · 17/07/2022 14:01

Sorry to be extreme but I immediately thought of Jamie Bulger

First thought that popped into my mind when I read it also. Seriously, why else would 12yo’s be so keen to take a 2yo off by themselves with no parental oversight. More red flags than a Chinese army.

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DrunkenKoala · 17/07/2022 14:01

daffodilandtulip · 17/07/2022 13:37

Sorry to be extreme but I immediately thought of Jamie Bulger

So did I

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Juanmariaramierz · 17/07/2022 14:02

nightshade · 17/07/2022 13:34

I don't think you are being unreasonable!

Just tell them firmly but nicely he us too little to be out without his mummy but thank you for asking!

This

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zingerdoo · 17/07/2022 14:03

Honestly, James Bulger was the first person that came to my mind reading this. I have a 3 year old daughter and there is NO WAY I'd let her out with 2 older children I didn't know. Their reaction when you came along would make me feel even more strongly it wasn't a good idea.
Your instincts are absolutely to protect you little boy who is way too young to protect himself which is absolutely the priority.

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pinkymurder · 17/07/2022 14:03

daffodilandtulip · 17/07/2022 13:37

Sorry to be extreme but I immediately thought of Jamie Bulger

Same.

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BellaTheDarkOverlord · 17/07/2022 14:05

That mum was in the wrong. You barely know them. I admit I also immediately thought Jamie Bulger. Why would kids their age be interested in a 2 year old?

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caramac04 · 17/07/2022 14:05

Christ on a bike no way would I let a toddler out with 2 scallies (at best) !
I would be very wary of their motives and cannot see your lo would be safe with them. They are extremely unlikely to be responsible enough even if their intentions are kind. Which I doubt.

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