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AIBU in having said no to neighbour's sons?

457 replies

WednesdayAddams94 · 17/07/2022 13:32

So we moved into a flat about 2 months ago with our 2 year old. The last 2/3 weeks I've had the downstairs neighbour's sons asking me repeatedly if my son can go and play with them. For reference, I don't know them at all. I have briefly said hi to their mum a few times but that is it.) At an estimate, I'd say one of them is 11 and the other one, 12/13.

I don't have an issue with these boys but I do find it slightly odd they want to spend time with a 2 y.o considering they have nothing in common. These boys are kind of known for being a bit rowdy. According to one of the other neighbours, one of them put dog poo in her letterbox and they're generally known for hanging about outside all the time, getting into trouble, vaping etc etc etc.

However, since I didn't want to make things awkward between myself and any neighbours (I have said no to them before saying we were busy etc) I said sure, let me grab my things and we can all go out for a bit. (Communal garden) by that point, the eldest was getting annoyed and said he would be taking my son out by himself?! I declined, shut the door and thought that was that.

This morning, mum comes knocking saying what am I playing at, and what my problem is. Increasingly getting angrier. Shouting, swearing, I eventually managed to get rid of mum but only because my DP had returned from the shops by this point and told her to leave or he'd involve the police. I really don't think I am being unreasonable but mum has made me feel like I am? I am also concerned that they will not leave this alone. We only moved in 2 months ago so am worried my response will have caused so many issues for us.

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nightshade · 17/07/2022 13:34

I don't think you are being unreasonable!

Just tell them firmly but nicely he us too little to be out without his mummy but thank you for asking!

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CalistoNoSolo · 17/07/2022 13:35

How can you possibly think you're wrong in this scenario?

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DrinkFeckArseBrick · 17/07/2022 13:35

Of course YANBU, it would be completely irresponsible to send your toddler out with a 12 year old even if you knew them a bit better. The mum is insane, no one is entitled to spend time with someone elses child, ever. Even if they're related

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Mally100 · 17/07/2022 13:35

Yanbu, what on earth are they all so desperate to be alone with your boy for ? Sounds like they would be up to no good.

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Georgeskitchen · 17/07/2022 13:36

Absolutely no way are you being unreasonable. Your son is 2 years old!! The mother sounds like a psycho tbh and best approach is probably to ignore her.
I can't imagine how she thinks it's acceptable for to hand over your toddler to 2 boys you don't even know!!

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OnlyFoolsnMothers · 17/07/2022 13:36

Super weird, a tad creepy and I would keep calm and just say no, given the age gap you don’t think your son would benefit

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daffodilandtulip · 17/07/2022 13:37

Sorry to be extreme but I immediately thought of Jamie Bulger

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WednesdayAddams94 · 17/07/2022 13:37

CalistoNoSolo · 17/07/2022 13:35

How can you possibly think you're wrong in this scenario?

After dealing with mum, she made me feel like I was accusing her sons of something. I really wasn't. I just don't want him out with just two teenage boys he doesn't even know. She just made me feel as if I was really out of line when I don't think I am.

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UWhatNow · 17/07/2022 13:38

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

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Georgeskitchen · 17/07/2022 13:38

daffodilandtulip · 17/07/2022 13:37

Sorry to be extreme but I immediately thought of Jamie Bulger

I did too x

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tonystarksrighthand · 17/07/2022 13:39

daffodilandtulip · 17/07/2022 13:37

Sorry to be extreme but I immediately thought of Jamie Bulger

So did I .... I'm glad it wasn't just me

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Antigonads · 17/07/2022 13:39

@daffodilandtulip

me too

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ChagSameachDoreen · 17/07/2022 13:40

They sound like absolute fucking lunatics.

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Hiddenvoice · 17/07/2022 13:40

She sounds crazy! So many reasons as to why you’re not in the wrong- They are too young to have a toddler outside alone with them. You don’t actually know them and your little one is only a toddler. If they come knocking again just politely tell them he is too young to play outside. If she comes knocking I’d point out that your child is 2 so won’t be going to play with her much older children and if she continues to turn up shouting then you’ll involve the police.

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GinIronic · 17/07/2022 13:41

Georgeskitchen · 17/07/2022 13:38

I did too x

and me. 😦

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NoSquirrels · 17/07/2022 13:41

Bloody hell. Of course you’re not being unreasonable in any way shape or form.

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WestIsWest · 17/07/2022 13:43

tonystarksrighthand · 17/07/2022 13:39

So did I .... I'm glad it wasn't just me

Me too I’m afraid. What is much more likely of course though is that they wouldn’t watch him properly and he could end up running into the road and getting run over or something similar happening, due to them not supervising.
I also agree OP that it’s very strange that they want to spend time with a 2 year and that the Mum reacted so ridiculously.

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steff13 · 17/07/2022 13:43

daffodilandtulip · 17/07/2022 13:37

Sorry to be extreme but I immediately thought of Jamie Bulger

Yeah, same. I wouldn't allow it.

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sallladfiingers · 17/07/2022 13:43

daffodilandtulip · 17/07/2022 13:37

Sorry to be extreme but I immediately thought of Jamie Bulger

I thought the same.

Not suggesting they are looking for a child to kill, but a two year old going with two young lads they don't know just isn't necessary.

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collieresponder88 · 17/07/2022 13:44

Do not let your son out of your sight. They are weirdos

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Lindy2 · 17/07/2022 13:44

I'd say it's very unusual for 2 older boys to want to play with a 2 year old. I would feel very uncomfortable about this especially as they seem bizarrely insistent.

A 2 year old shouldn't be playing without the supervision of a responsible adult anyway.

Tell them he's too young to be playing without you there so sorry, he isn't able to play with them.

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winnieanddaisy · 17/07/2022 13:44

@daffodilandtulip my thoughts went to Jamie Bulger too . The boys could be perfectly nice but why would they want to play with a two year old ? If you had a twelve year old yourself I bet you that he would not want to take his baby brother out to play . Do not let them anywhere near him .

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Saragossa · 17/07/2022 13:44

daffodilandtulip · 17/07/2022 13:37

Sorry to be extreme but I immediately thought of Jamie Bulger

Me too.

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Insidelaurashead · 17/07/2022 13:45

Even if the boys were complete angels and brilliant with kids, and you're not saying they're not, toddlers can be little monkeys when they want to be and you would be unfair to expect two young lads to deal with that, so you're looking out for them too IMO. Its different when you're there to step in if needed isn't it

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jennyfin · 17/07/2022 13:45

daffodilandtulip · 17/07/2022 13:37

Sorry to be extreme but I immediately thought of Jamie Bulger

So did I 😔

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