No, I don't ever regret it. I've never regretted it even once, not even in the difficult bits. It's just the way I am, I suppose. I always knew I wanted children and even when I had trouble conceiving the first and needed fertility treatments, it was the goal.

But then, I never really felt I was sacrificing anything to become a mother. I've kept my career & my hobbies, we continued to travel as much as we ever did right up until covid, and I'd never been a big drinker/partier so my social life wasn't really affected. I don't feel like I'm missing out but the bar for me is low - I'm a homebody, happy to be one, and DC fit that lifestyle.

Yes, nursery is expensive. Our costs just went down to £1400 for our youngest and that has taken some of the pressure off but at the peak we were paying £2400 for wraparound and nursery. It's tough, but it's all temporary. Costs decrease, they go to school, things change. No one is ever really 'ready' or prepared - you make it work.

I don't think anyone can really say whether you'll regret it or not. I suppose it depends on how attached you are to your current routines and whether your sense of 'self' is inextricably linked with things that might have to take a backseat for a while while your children are small.

You might get more responses if you move this to parenting rather than the unexplained!

I don't know why you are saying that society is unkind to women who don't have children. What a load of rubbish

I have a ds from donor eggs - had him at 41. I love being a parent having been ambivalent for many years before.

No I don't ever regret it. However, it is damned hard work, even when they are young adults. DD18 has a MH disorder and spent most of the weekend leaning on me crying. I couldn't wait for Monday to come so she would go to work and I would have a few hours without her.

Raising a child is definitely demanding but really it depends on how much you like children. Say if you babysit a friend's children for a full day, do you still feel their presence brings you enjoy from within or you just feel it's a responsibility and your patience is being rubbed off every minute. I myself hated children when I was younger and everyone told me oh when you have your own children you'll naturally love them, I still don't like children til today even when I have my own, giving birth to a child didn't magically change who I am, I am just doing the job as it's my responsibility. On the opposite side of the example, my mother naturally loves children, even sick children that's not her own, she is a paediatrician, she spent her life having sick children wiping all kinds of body fluids on her and puke on her etc. yet she still loves being with them, every minute spent with children brings her lots of joy and strength, even after she came back home she stills tells me stories of the lovely children she met at work. So honestly if you love children no matter how difficult it is and how hard it gets you'll get through it with joy.

I regret it somedays. Not gonna lie.

I'm 31, not a very 'motherly' type and really not great with small children generally.

My boys are 2 and 1.

The days are long and hard. My partner isn't very supportive at all, one of those 'it's your job' types when it comes to most things parenty.

I'm just waiting for the 1 year old to walk so they can tear up the garden and aren't so in my face all day.

I work 3 days a week and am now on crap duties because I'm part time. Never went back to the same work I was doing before my two maternity leaves.

I also had both kids in Covid times so not sure if thats had a negative effect. First was smack bang in the first lockdown when everything was crazy. Second was still in restrictions but about to be lifted.

I guess I'd always thought I'd want to be a mum and said I did so by the time I was 30 which happened, although they were both unplanned.
I just really don't think I was ready for everything having 2 small children entails.
But then again, who is?

I think I'd regret not having kids though, if you asked me maybe in 10 years time or something.

Its a tough one because you just don't know until you have them.

I absolutely don't regret it and I know I would have been unhappy without children because I agree that society makes women feel like they were missing out oft they don't have children. But now that I have them I can see that I could have had a fulfilling, enjoyable and probably much easier life if I hadn't had then, once I had accepted not having children.

I never regret having children, not even for a second. Best thing I've ever done. Having said that I often feel like I really, really need a break!

No I don’t regret having children- but I don’t know if I wanted them enough that I would use donor eggs. I wanted my own children but if I couldn’t have had them I wouldn’t have used donor eggs or adopted.

I love my dc but I do often regret becoming a parent. My youngest dc (now 15) has SEN’s, she needs 24 hour supervision, chances are she will never live independently. Being a parent isn’t what I imagined it to be. Yes there have been amazing times but it’s also been very stressful and lonely at times. I worry about DC’s future and I feel because of them I have no future. I had dc young in hope I could travel when they left home, in hope I could work on my career when they went to school but this hasn’t been able to happen.

There was a lot of pressure from my family for me to have dc, they were never in my plans growing up, my mum often said “women were out here to be mothers”, I don’t believe that to be true, there’s a lot more to life than having children.

I regret it quite a bit . DS does have ADHD and ASD and some quite severe behavioural difficulties though . It is depressing to see the effect on DH and my life really and I can't seem to see a happy future for DS.


He has few relatives left as we had him when I was 39 and DH was 36. DH and I are both the youngest children of older parents too so ds has no grandparents left now and no cousins near his age . DS does not find life easy at all and does tend to have quite an effect on those around him . He is very sensitive and does not have a generally happy disposition. He is also not at all keen to grow up or be more independent in any way , however small, despite being 18 years old

So yes I do often regret being a parent though I don't regret DS himself as despite his difficulties and the effect he has on our lives DH and I would not be without him

As to liking children. I loved them and found then interesting and fun before I has my own. DS took up up much attention and energy that I started to not want to spend time with other children and I mostly avoid them now. I've become don't find children restful or peaceful which is what I need in my spare time nowadays

No I don't regret it. I lost my husband because of having children though - he couldn't cope with family life once children came along. So There is that

But I also didn't want them enough to do donor eggs as it's not something I morally/ethically am on board with and would have therefore stayed childless if it was a choice between using donors or not

Honestly? I definitely had some “what the hell have I done?” moments at the beginning. Now he has a personality, interests etc. Yes it’s a PIA sometimes. But do I regret him? No. He’s only 15 months though, so can’t speak longer term.

Absolutely regret it. Motherhood has ruined me physically and mentally. Every morning I wake up and cry because I didn't die in my sleep.
I thought I wanted children more than anything. I had no idea I wasn't maternal at all.

Goodness your eyes are closed aren't they...

I don't regret it, even though it's incredibly bloody tough having two small kids and I often think about life pre- them. I can see the bigger picture of when they're older. But I always said if I had needed ivf/donor eggs I wouldn't have done it, and I stand by that. Good luck either way OP.

I'm not sure people really know how hard it is having kids. As I had no maternal drive I chose not to have any. I've never been treated any differently for not having any and people that have asked accept my response that I simply didn't want them.

A friend of mine had a baby at 40, she's a single parent and although doesn't of course regret her child she regrets not having a better understanding of how hard it would be. She's tired all the time, her life isn't her own and relies on the people around her to provide childcare so she has a social life.

I'm sure having children is wonderful for those who want them but honestly being able to do the things I want to do and not having to be tied down is great. Dh and I don't miss not having children, I love a quiet home and don't regret my choice for a second.

I have a (sperm) donor conceived child and while I don't regret her for a minute, I don't think I made a good choice. I was blinded by my desire to be a mother. My daughter is now a teenager and I know she really feels the absence of having two biological parents.

I know that children who are adopted also struggle with that (as many as many children born to single mothers) but I feel guilty that I chose that for her because of my selfish desire to be a mother.

Yes. I thought motherhood was all I ever wanted - I imagined the cute cosy cuddles with the baby and the love bringing myself and husband together because we’d created this perfect human together; instead we are like ships passing in the night trying to provide childcare, conversation revolves around the child; all the relatives that encouraged us to have a child are never available to look after child. Sleep is a distant memory and I miss my independence massively. Having said all of this, I feel a fierce love for my child. But would I have done it if I could have foreseen all of this? No, I don’t believe I would have done but society makes you believe the fairy tale

i always wanted kids and family life, but did not truly realise how hard and how isolating it could be.
I definitely enjoy it now my kids are primary age, they are fun to be with a lot of the time and we can do holidays, trips, friend meet ups, etc.
The early days though were a long slog for me. I wondered why I had given up my freedom and fun life to be screamed at, living at the mercy of a tiny dictator quite a few times!
Having kids it’s a huge life change that you can’t easily come away from. Don’t do it unless you’re sure you want it!

I don't one bit but I don't like the heartbreak and worry it causes in my heart when negative situations that I have no control over happen to them,

So sorry you feel this way....this is so sad