Help with dog after separation.

[TheMatriarch]

Dh and I separated nearly 4 months ago.
The family situation was very stressful, with a lot of fighting between two of my dc which stressed out the dog (5 yr old cocker x springer), so to start off with separating was positive for us all, including the pets!
Since dh isn’t around ddog has become more protective of me, and more nervous when the two fighty dc are together (1 is autistic and HE, the oldest is working and comes home every lunchtime and after work so I can take him home - he lives with dh) to the point where he will try to be up around my neck when they’re together.
Ddog is also barking more, particularly when people come to the door, and when I’m out.

Is there anything I can do to help him feel more settled? He is a very loving, affectionate dog, but he has a nervy side which is getting noticeably more difficult to manage.
Working on the dc is constant, and I fear at some point I will have to ask the oldest not to come home as often as it’s so stressful for everyone!

[TinselAndKnickers]

Can you show that it’s okay for the DC to be together? Show that you are happy, you approach them! Also what helps with most spaniels that I know... food. Could your older son bring (or be quickly equipped) with a treat when he comes in? To build a more positive connection in the dogs mind.

As far as the barking goes, I have no advice as I’m still trying to work on this with my stubborn staff