Step mom after abortion

[JDS87]

I don´t know what to do anymore.
I have been together with my partner for almost 3 years now. He has 2 kids from his previous marriage and I don´t. The kids are 11 and 9. I´ve always wanted a child of my own but in my previous relationship it just didn´t happen. When me and my partner now got together, it was one of the first things we talked about.
I am 34 and since a couple of months I really wanted a child. My partner wasn´t feeling ready because out relationship is rocky sometimes. I think he is the man of my dreams.
To make a long story short, I wasn´t taking birth control behalve my body can´t stand it and he tried to keep me happy by not pulling out for 2 times. I became pregnant. When I told him, the first thing he said was "What will we do when we will separate? I will have to deal with 3 children"
That was devasting for me. He tried and I tried but eventually he really couldn´t prepare himself to be a dad and I wasn´t feeling it. It just wasn´t what me child deserved and what I dreamed of. So we decided to abort. Now I am full of resentment. It´s only 3 weeks ago and he almost hasn´t been there for me. He´s opened his eyes now because he can finally see how broken I am. I know it was my decision too, but I just feel so bad. My dream had shattered and I rally don´t want to be around his kids. I´m jealous because they got to live and my baby wasn´t welcome.
I just don´t know... he tells me he wants to become ready and then wants to give me a baby, but I don´t know how I will ever get over this.

[Longgreysky]

The relationship is over. Find someone else who wants a family.

[Frankola]

You deserve so much better than him 🌺

[whatstheteamarie]

Please don't waste your fertile years in this man, leave him and find someone who is on the same page as you (easier said than done I know).

By the time he "feels ready" it may be too late for you.

[SandyWedges]

I think you should leave him personally. His attitude stinks. Even if the DSC weren't in the picture his attitude stinks.

[pitchforksandflamethrowers]

What happens if you decide you don't ever want to get over it.

At the end of the day this guy sounds like a arse hat.

I'm so sorry lovely 💐

[DebussytoaDiscoBeat]

He sounds awful and utterly self-absorbed in his wants vs yours. Unfortunately it sounds like you're blinded to his faults because if you describe him as the man of your dreams despite your relationship being rocky and his callousness towards you now then lord knows what your previous partners have been like. A good man wouldn't treat you like this.

[SNWannabe]

“When we separate”?

ummmm “let’s find out shall we? Bye Boy!” Should have been your answer…

He is a scumbag.

[Pruella]

You have to leave surely? What a prick.

[Spohn]

Sounds like an absolute disaster-a ‘rocky’ relationship with a boyfriend who chose to impregnate you, then announced he doesn’t want to make any more kids 🥴 dump the silly fucker, he’s not boyfriend or parent material.