The Goose & Carrot Pub

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A thread for all who have DC with SN. The thread is deleted in 90 days and doesn’t show in active. The season is changing and the bar is well stocked.

Would this work @scoopofmintchocchipicecream https://www.decathlon.co.uk/p/women-s-seamless-muscle-back-medium-support-sports-bra-white/343671/

DH just pointed out to me that DS was sitting in the garden on the bench which is visible from the house ipadding then as he was telling me DS started lying on the grass again visible.

I've just read the thread about caring for adult children and someone on there said they had seen a bit of an improvement with them always looking happy when they see the child. So going to try that though it'll be more sounding happy to see them. I do try to anyway but its not every time.

I am hoping the listed buildings people give us our free 15 minutes soon so we will know if they or planning are likely to be very fussy about the tiny house roof material. When we've got it before they were very fussy and in lockdown but other times they let things through easily. Though at least it would make some decisions for us if they are fussy. I hope they don't ask for samples of everything like they did last time. In some places online its saying LBC is only if its attached to house or a wall which it won't be unless put in corner (some gorgeous octagonal ones) but lbc give free 15 minutes advice, planning charge a few hundred for pre applying advice and sounds like planning will put the listed thing in consideration so likely to be as fussy but one application.

Thanks all.

@NoHaudinMaWheest I feel your vest pain.

@Lougle I don’t know if she would try them. She is out at the moment, but when she comes back, I will ask.

@FrostySunRun DD2 has tried those. The band isn’t soft enough for her.

@scoopofmintchocchipicecream if she's considering them, it's light elastication, with no edge ribbing at the bottom, and the only seams are on the sides.

We have established that DS can Google - he has today been looking up the largest/smallest bird in the world and why penguins can't fly.

@drspouse not sure if this NZ aquarium can be googled but I love it

That's hilarious!

Just been cleaning before the cleaner comes tomorrow so they won't have much to do. Saw what size shorts DS is wearing, and have ordered him some more, some t shirts and sandals.

@Tulipandmagnolia rest awaits you.

DH casually mentioned that he thought that we had a 'crow in the chimney' this afternoon. I didn't give it much thought because I'm happy to share. He didn't mention that he thought a crow was stuck in the chimney until DD3 asked how the crow was going to get out and DH said "Oh I don't think it will, I expect it's fallen out of its nest or something." Cue DD3 dismantling the air vents to try and give the beleaguered crow an exit route, only to find that when they blocked up the fireplace, they blocked the gap for the vent and just drilled 10 small holes for ventilation. She was in tears and wanted to take a sledgehammer to the walls. However, the chirping is periodic and my DF pointed out that a crow may well have built a nest and the bird we're hearing is quite happily sitting it in.

DD3 is very upset about her teacher. She says she's the only one she can have a proper deep conversation with and that gets her jokes. She says that because it's a special school, she thinks the recruitment drive is 'nice people who can cope with the behaviour' not 'smart people'. Her being right, it makes it very hard to argue otherwise and reassure her.

DD2.... Well once again, she has been outside all day, helping. Incredible. She did get very excited when it was building time and she got to hit the log lengths with a rubber mallet. She said that it was what she'd been waiting for all day! Tonight, she went to bed without telling me she didn't want to go to school tomorrow. I might still get it in the morning, but wow!!

DD1 is in a dip again. She's deliberately taking food that she knows I would say no to, also. If I say she can have an apple, she's taking 3 or 4 pieces of fruit. She's sneaking down in the morning so she can have a full bowl of cereal instead of a portion. I know her brain is saying she's ravenous but it's really not good for her health.

We have had DGC for a long weekend, while DS and DDIL went to see a relative of hers abroad.

We have to take DGD (ADHD) out for a good 2 hours in the afternoons to wear her out, otherwise she gets all deregulated at tea time and her younger sibling bears the brunt of it. There’s a reason we have children young!

Thanks @Lougle I hope rest awaits you. That's great with DD2. DS eats like your DD1 but remains stick thin, the shorts I found he had worn were age 13 which seems to be roughly 28 inch waist and he's very tall. Ironically growing up I worried he might be too short and he was small for years. It must be hard for your DD1. I am envious of DSs ability to eat unlimited quantities including cakes and ice cream and remain stick thin. I think it maybe partly as he's constantly moving now and so tall.

Well done on managing the weekend @BlueandWhitePorcelain

After 2 weeks with no cleaner the manager and someone else came to clean. They only did 30 mins, arrived late and left without saying anything and several things have not been cleaned. They charge £60 a time. The previous one did 1.5 hours for that which was pricey but as manager took £20 I would guess and she worked solidly in that 1.5 hours and was lovely talking about chickens and cats. So was ok with that as someone in house for DS who is friendly and helpful. We also needed a cleaner start of the year with all the mud (we did the mud, they did normal clean) and lots of heavy lifting projects like turf and the 3 paths but now can manage without. Good thing was DS did cooperate and let them clean downstairs bathroom. I think we might stop it for a while especially with DH stopping work in a couple of weeks time. We can put it to the tiny house fund. I said to DH I do want to keep up the whole house cleaned once a week, DH in the past has been grumpy about that but would do things for cleaners. I think now he can see benefits and once he stops work will have more free time. I think it helps DSs mood and am trying to house train DS. I just heard him putting things in the bin. DS isn't too bad, it's just the putting rubbish in a corner and mud but he has stuck to paths and it's a lot better.

DH is getting like I will just sleep the morning now every morning but I am trying not to have too much of that. Currently snoring. I have quite a few projects we can do together and he's fine with so at least first 6 months or so are sorted.

I have stopped the cleaner and just sent an e-mail to say about DHs redundancy. Then she sent back you must pay us 2 weeks more and we will come twice more. So I said OK but you only stayed 30 mins today (2 people) and charged £60 and the floors were not that clean and the walls hadn't been cleaned. She got quite upset about it so wish I had not said anything but did find out she was only paying the other cleaner for 1.5 hours who would come alone and was charging us £60. I had initially asked her about hours and expected around 3 hours for £60 but she had said it was per job before not per hour. So its £40 an hour for 1 cleaner and she said they don't do walls, tiles, windows. We have agreed don't need to do 2 weeks.

I do find it quite useful when we do cleaning to see what DS is up to in secret and also can see what he needs. We tend to do it every week before cleaner anyway so it won't make that much difference, just another 45 mins each and there won't be the e-mails or paying the bill. DH doesn't have long to go.

DS is quite active at the moment, can just hear him in the kitchen and going to garden a lot. I did like having the cleaner for a person DS would see in the house but DH is having people round more and if one of these house projects gets approval we will have people for that.

@Tulipandmagnolia the head cleaner sounds awful, good decision to let her go - the cheek of her! I know what you mean about getting some healthy traffic through the house for DS.

How are exams going? Is everyone finished now?

@Tulipandmagnolia they sound dreadful. 'We clean everything except the stuff you need cleaning, and the time starts 30 minutes before we get there and 30 minutes after we leave.'

The cleaner mgr really didn’t sound good @Tulipandmagnolia shame the other lady isn’t available independently.

@RedRegular dd2 is doing just one exam and it’s next week. Anxiety is very very high not helped by it being pre-period week too. She just did a full unseen paper as a mock at our kitchen table the only time she would do a whole one with no input from me. I was actually really suprised she sat in silence whilst I was next door working doing it. She finished and did lots of hand flapping and dysregulation straight afterwards but only for 5mins whilst I co-regulated her. she just needs 20% to pass the overall qualification at L2 which she should be able to get with just the 1-2marks questions and hopefully the panic on the long mark questions won’t overwhelm her on the day. This time next week it will be over if we both survive it. We’ve going to mark the paper together later.

@FrostySunRun what a time for hormones! Gruelling week of anxiety for you both ahead. I really hope DD gets through the door to demonstrate her hard work. Sliding you over an early gin vat and snorkel.

@Lougle DD2 has got the physical work good feelings. DD had a huge appetite on an old medication, impossible to manage. Really difficult, we were cutting calories in any undetectable way we could, halving butter in sandwiches etc but her hunger was insatiable. Do you think it’s medication related or behavioural?

@RedRegular good luck for the exam next week.

We still have a way to go with exams. Last exams are on the 15th and there’s still lots to go between now and then.

@scoopofmintchocchipicecream an in the trenches vat of gin coming your way

Speaking of exams, DS school have potentially agreed he can do Functional Skills maths in Y10 which his tutor is keen on. I am feeling in less of a panic as I have found at least one post-16 BTEC (can't remember if Level 1 or Level 2 but if it's Level 1 you can go on to do Level 2) where you only need Entry level 3 English to enter which he is likely to get in the end.
Still so cross about how much they are neglecting him.

Thanks I’ve just marked the mock and she smashed it so although she was all “I’ve done terribly and I couldn’t answer this this and this..” she did miss an entire 9m question but she actually got most of the short answers ones correct phew! Hoping it’s given her confidence a boost now. Just need to buckle up and get through the week first.

good luck @scoopofmintchocchipicecream hope you can make it through the next two weeks in tact.

On a different note I am a bit concerned by her low BP I just took 3 readings ahead of adhd med review from lying down and standing up about 2mins apart and the average was 80/56 with pulse 127. Should I be concerned as the 3rd one standing up was 69/44 she’s getting dizzy standing up.

@Tulipandmagnolia I’ve had a similar unpleasant ending to a cleaning agency relationship. Unpleasant but it sounds like they weren’t providing what you wanted.

Things are difficult here as they often are but ds ate a peeled new potato this week. This is a rather big step for us. He only eats potato as chip shop chips or McDonald’s. I’m praying I can get him all the way to mash or baked potatoes by next year because that will open up a lot of options for us. I was expecting a big change now the meds have increased and perhaps less preseizure activity. I think things are the same really.

@Zeonlywayisup you might be able to add in some form of oven chips as well?
DS is doing well with his eating too. Quite a lot of it is adding back things that he ate when younger - salmon and sausage rolls being two recent additions. I'm still hopeful for rice but no luck yet.
DD basically only has one major hole in her eating but annoyingly it's potatoes - she'll eat rice - I made some build your own salmon poke bowls the other day. DD ate the rice and picked at the salmon, DS the other way round. I had a full extra bowl for lunch! DD will eat oven chips and will try a bit of mash if it's really well pureed (like school mash, she says - we adults both hated school mash!).

The chips are useful for emergency food after or on a trip, but mash/roast/new/baked would just remove an enormous amount of extra work for me. I have good systems in place to provide meals for ds alongside ours when needed but we are a big family and so it’s already cooking for 6-8. I’m particularly focused on baked potatoes because they can go so effortlessly in the oven and are reliably “plain” in many pubs etc so maybe we could try pub lunches?? A pub is weirdly quite a good option for us (In theory! I have yet to action this Machiavellian plan). Inside and outside seating, parking, no rigid restaurant service, and we can collect good options. The slight fly in the ointment was I had my eye on generic Wetherspoons to carry us into this new adult way of life. I thought their menu sounded fairly Ds friendly. Alarmingly volatile locally though so I think we’ll stick to quieter places. The thought of ds anywhere near a pub brawl is frankly terrifying.

I’m sure we’ve talked about this before but what to do in emergencies plays on my mind. I’m particularly worried about breaking down/crashes. For example ds couldn’t wait roadside.

For motability customers, if you take your car abroad do you need to pay for the insurance/roadside assistance now or is that for new contracts?

Ds was up all night so I am tired. We have rebound this afternoon which has twice triggered seizures which doesn’t bode well. I get so frightened driving him home after a seizure. Honk honk

@Zeonlywayisup Hurrah for potato!

The admin fee for the VE103 is only for orders placed after 1st July this year. Insurance is covered for the EU and a few other countries for up to 90 days in a 12 month period. For longer than this, they sometimes agree and sometimes there is a fee.

It won’t help for situations like breakdowns, but for emergencies such as crashes, we also have seatbelt covers for DS1&3. DS1 is in a special sit car seat but the normal seat belt goes over the top of the SN car seat’s harness. Does your DS wear a medic alert band/bracelet/necklace/over alert?

@FrostySunRun I would mention it at the ADHD med review. Is it new? Do you know what DD’s normal is? Some ADHD medication can lower blood pressure and cause tachycardia.

DS1 should have sat an exam today but didn’t. He had a meltdown beforehand and wasn't it in a fit state. He is asleep now. DS1 sat the first paper, so the exam centre is going to apply for special consideration for enhanced grading based on the first component, but if that isn’t accepted it doesn’t matter.