The Goose & Carrot Pub

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A thread for all who have DC with SN. The thread is deleted in 90 days and doesn’t show in active. The season is changing and the bar is well stocked.

@Tulipandmagnolia Thats exactly what DD1 is like. She doesn’t like people, who are direct and bossy with her (like those used to working with people with dementia). People have to be calm, positive, smiley; but not loud with her, if they want to get anywhere. It’s best to say

”Shall we get you a bath….?”

Otherwise, they can see the other side of her - verbally aggressive and stroppy!

Careworkers old enough to be her mother tend to be best at striking a rapport with her (and I can see, they genuinely care about her), although there are some younger, who are very good with her, because they treat her like a friend! You get out of her, what you put in!

I've just spent 3 hours and 9 phonecalls trying to get a doctor's appointment. First triage form gave me the option to go to A&E or say I was safe to wait a working day. When I didn't choose either it told me to dial 999. I telephoned the GP surgery, and they said that I should have said I'd go to A&E, then phoned them to say I wasn't going to A&E. So I had to redo the form, then I phoned and the receptionist said 'oh no, I think you should have said you were safe to wait and then tell us that you didn't think you could wait.' So she assured me that I would be seen today, and they'd look at it. Then I got an invitation to make an appointment - for tomorrow with an ANP. I phoned again and said that I wasn't ok with seeing an ANP (it was an ANP who misdiagnosed DH's pneumonia as flu), and that I couldn't wait until tomorrow. On our 9th call I was asked to come to the surgery at 4pm.

I suppose this new triage system is increasing efficiency, hey?

Hope the doctors help after all that effort. I generally fill in our doctors online form which is supposed to be non urgent only rather than deal with people/silly rules/the phone music. It tends to work but I always get a we don't normally do this but we will make an exception at the start.

@Lougle so helpful when they can’t even agree on what you should do.

It really is. The doctor was lovely once I saw her but to get there I had to cry and tell them that the triage form doesn't 'triage' anything. It just gives a tick list and 'feels like death' isn't on it.

Helpfully, DD1 developed abdo pain this afternoon. Notably different to other episodes was that she was groaning in pain, didn't ask to go to hospital and showed no interest in having dinner, even when I offered a meal deal. DH and I decided to take her to A&E (because I'm not fit to drive). They found it really hard to get a vein, even with the vein mapper. Eventually a doctor got one in the underside of her wrist, but it isn't a pleasant place to have one. She's had IV paracetamol, codeine and has a bag of fluid up. Urine dip showed a UTI, but still waiting to be seen after 3 hours. DD1 is exhausted. They did have her in a cubicle so she had a little rest on a trolley, but they've turned her out now for another patient. She says she wants to pretend that she's not in pain so she can go home to sleep, but she's still crying with pain.

Oh @Lougle I’ve just been catching up, how awful. Poor dd1. I hope they get her somewhere to rest soon.

@Tulipandmagnolia they should be able to tell you how insulating the logs are and they can more insulation if needed. Personally I’d focus on the floor and ceiling as small rooms are fairly easy to heat but if ds is anything like mine he will sit on the floor and the cold creeps up. You can of course sleep in a garden building that isn’t up to full building regs for a normal house that’s what all the mobile home rules are about.

Ds is much better today. Mostly hiding in his room with the aircon but we’ve had a drum lesson, a trip to the supermarket, and collected a sibling from town and gone to McDonald. Something has changed. People in our town are being so kind to us suddenly as though they’ve all been given extra training. He bumped into three people in the supermarket said “sorry” and each one said “no my fault, you’re doing really well” or words to that effect. How kind! Ds seemed to feel it too and we have had a good day.

@Tulipandmagnolia in terms of structural integrity, that's right. The cladding depends on the frame to secure it and the larger the structure, the thicker the cladding needs to be to avoid bowing and wind failure. However, that is separate to the issue of usability. If you want DS to be able to use it year round, it will need fairly thick cladding and internal insulation (floor, ceiling, and walls).

For example, a 44mm log cabin wall with 50mm celotex insulation achieves a u-value of between 0.35-0.4, which is still double the value required for livable accommodation, but it will make it a useable space for most of the year, even if it needs a heater in the colder months.

@Zeonlywayisup it's so nice to hear that DS is being treated kindly. It doesn't take much to change the day, does it?

We're on our way home. Sensible doctor checked her out and decided that on balance it's probably more of the same pain and the UTI we were told about isn't a UTI but some white cells which would only be relevant if she had symptoms. He wanted to check with his boss, who agreed, so home to bed.

Sorry about A&E trip @Lougle

Glad DS is better @Zeonlywayisup

We have to get building regs, planning and listed buildings consent for bedroom and any sleeping in as it's a listed property so we can't use Caravan Act or permitted development rights.

Thanks @Lougle for the extra shed facts. DS would want to use it all year and will not tolerate heaters or air conditioning and has a strong preference for cold. He will be on the floor a lot and also loves his fleece so takes duvets, fleece blankets, millions of cushions. He probably would not open a window if too hot. He also does not like light that much.

We are going to see what bedroom quote comes in at, I suspect horrendously expensive and will rule it out, then look some more. The one we saw that was cheaper was fine for appearance and durability but only 14mm plus lining and no insulation though they said we could pay someone else to add insulation. The thatched one has insulation for non building regs of 200mm and for building regs 250mm. I hope that won't make him too hot. I've heard people say insulation makes it very hot in summer. DS likes around 5C to a max of about 20C. He used to joke he would love to live in a freezer. Though he does take many duvets etc and wears fleece. He complained it was too hot in Finland and that it was so hot in Costa Rica you could barely stand up when it was 25C. He's like a menopausal woman.

@Tulipandmagnolia the building regulations change based on the kind of building you are building so the regs for a “mobile home” are different to the regs for a house etc etc. if anyone has mentioned dimensions like the height must be less than 3.05m, and it must be less than 20m by 6.8m then they are talking about complying with section 13 (caravan act). If you are building a shed rather than living accommodation then there aren’t regulations about insulation etc. whoever told you insulating the roof will make it hotter in summer, is wrong and I would double check anything else they have told you. Insulation is used both to keep a house warm in winter and cool in summer. I wonder if ds would tolerate vents rather than actually opening the windows? If the windows face south then I would consider shading them from the outside. I think in your situation I would build it as a “garden office” as that sort of extra space is often very attractive to buyers but it would be a very normal thing to ask an estate agent before investing.

@Lougle I hope you are asleep, but I’m so glad you are home.

Sorry to hear DD1 is struggling with pain @Lougle and I hope you all managed gp get some rest overnight .

just had nice cooler dog walk this morning that 5c drop was heaven compared to yesterday. We live near the coast and poor coastguards & RNLI had 3 call outs in 4hrs yesterday rescuing folk and a medical incident. SO many holiday makers about we tend to avoid the beach but it’s nice to get a swim in early before they all descend DD2 was actually full on sea swimming yesterday at 8am it’s was lovely to watch her joy. During “school weeks” I can barely get her out of bed before 9am!

@Tulipandmagnolia my brother built a “gym/office” in his garden he wasn’t allowed planning for any kind of living in space but by calling it a gym-office he could install a toilet & shower & insulation Bonkers really but that meant he does use it as a garden office mostly yet guests can stay overnight he just doesn’t tell anyone now it’s all built and it’s not let for money. This was around 8-10yrs ago so regs may have changed since but he got a friend who was a planning consultant to advise. He’s in a rural area it’s not listed but had various designations within the area on landscape.

It's our local councils criteria we have to comply for a bedroom with as it's listed and listed requires extra rules and you cannot use exemptions or the caravan act ever. If you want to sell your house you must follow them or else a sale may well fall through. The company have their own architect and work almost always on listed homes and are very competent. An office cannot be sold as a bedroom unless it meets building regs, the rules stare no sleeping if not. An office alone we don't believe would add value though we can check with estate agent as we are already over the well over highest price for the number of bedrooms we have versus ones on market. It's a bedroom we need. And that means building regs in a listed property, no exceptions. Everything requires planning and listed buildings consent no exceptions.

It's just on MN I read about insulation and other forums. That does appear to be incorrect but the rest is correct.

I wouldn’t rely on the salesman’s take on things and get advice from a planning consultant who will know not just the rules but more crucially what has actually been acceptable in your area.

I am not relying on the salesman I used to work in a related area and know the rules.

Then you are brilliantly placed to do a great job @Tulipandmagnolia .

My house is filthy and it is so hot I seem to get little done but ds has woken happy again so who knows perhaps things will get done today. I don’t know how the rest of you manage but here things like cleaning and laundry tend to hit crisis levels whenever we have EHCreview or extra seizures or appointments. I feel like I’m not very good at RL. I have a funeral tomorrow and am feeling worried about leaving ds. What I need is a clone.

Thanks @Zeonlywayisup DD1 is still asleep. I hope the funeral goes well.

Poor DD3 is quite badly sunburned so I'm going to pop her to the chemist.

Ouch! Sunburn is the pits. Lots of oil and a cool bath for ten minutes will help then more oil when she gets out and drink lots. I love the sun but it is making me lazy.

Hope the funeral goes as well as it can @Zeonlywayisup and DS manages OK.

Sorry DD3 is sunburnt @Lougle

It does concern me a bit whether we would get permission for sleeping use - the actual mini thatched cottage I think would be very likely to get through as lots of structures in people's gardens included listed of similar size and thatch is environmentally friendly. But don't know of anyone with one you can sleep in, its more sheds and garages. We can get a free 15 mins with the listed buildings officer which will probably do if quote isn't horrendous. They have 100% success rate so far on planning but I would imagine most are in huge houses with huge grounds with no neighbours in sight. Those this would not overlook. If it failed we currently don't want the other options from them due to price and house value limits. DH did think we should try for 3rd bedroom internally first and there may be some sense in that but initial response was no.

Very tired, could not sleep last night, all those NEET threads are bringing back awful memories though took anti histamine around 4am and slept until cat woke me up. I need to hide them.

@Lougle I’m glad you are home now.

@FrostySunRun DD2 sea swimming sounds brilliant.

@Zeonlywayisup I hope the funeral goes as well as it can. We have a cleaner. She is essential to keeping no top of the house.

DS1 was very sleepy yesterday and slept most of the day. I am hoping it is the heat and not the start of him being unwell.

I've just had quote back from other shed company that's like a little house in design but 10 foot by 6 foot and 2.5 metres high with a door with glass panes and 2 opening windows and pressure treated and lined at £6,200 incl vat. They have a cedar shingles roof. It had been decided to do slate effect tiles due to squirrels but cedar shingles may be easier to get through planning and listed buildings and nicer colour. Will have planning costs and removal of old shed on top but base would not need altering at this size. We could paint it later. That amount is fairly easy for us to make work though it's 14mm and without insulation but with lining.

Made a free 15 mins appointment with listed buildings so can check any local requirements.

https://www.thecosyshedco.co.uk/products/the-traditional-luxury-shed but altered so door and 2 windows on the gable which will overlook garden and door and windows with glass panes and guttering.

I’m a big fan of Chris Packham. Handing in a petition to remove the Ofsted statement that autistic people are more likely to be radicalised. It makes me furious that autism is banded about as the cause of any random trait/behaviour/negative.

Gentle day here. DH is away this week and I’m helping DD build a structured summer. A huge win last night as I went out for 2.5 hours and came back to a very relaxed DD. Dcat on the other hand was in a terrible pickle and jumped into my arms.

@Zeonlywayisup i hope the funeral goes well.

@Lougle i would have done the same in your position.

@BlueandWhitePorcelain @FrostySunRun yeh! For all the swimming and water

@Tulipandmagnolia I’m completely lost with all the options for your tiny house but I think whatever you choose will be a brilliant space for DS.
@BlueandWhitePorcelain difficult to tell what’s what in the heat, even with aircon DD can still feel the thickness of the air, the pressure and the brightness.

People who feel disempowered and hopeless are most likely to be radicalised IMO. Better to focus on giving them hope and purpose than anything else.

Ants have invaded my kitchen. I’ve spent all morning emptying my food cupboard and only got halfway through. It’s very very messy with everything everywhere

Kids got the bus to the pool on their own - yay! Apparently they were so traumatised by the last time they did it (couldn't find the bus stop on the way home) that they've been refusing to do it ever since.
I went and got them after, but DD was sick in the car on the way home and sick again just now. Boo! Hoping we don't all catch it.