sleepless of mumsnet - I'm too tired to think of a good title

[zombiemeow]

New thread

[fluffikins]

I'm getting sick of the waking now. I definitely don't want to do CC or CIO but feel I need to change something. Tonight I'll attempt to move her feed to before her story to see if that helps with the waking.

[ILikeUranus]

Thanks, yes I did eventually. 2 hours is not enough sleep for a human being you poor thing! Maybe snuggle on the sofa with a blanket and see if you can have a bit of a rest at least. Or lots of caffeine! x

[Purpleboa]

Thank you! Sorry about your insomnia. Did you any sleep in the end? Hope so.

Have had about 2 hours of broken sleep and feel, well, broken! DH would normally take her for a few hours as it's Saturday, but he's away for the weekend. So just me. Have a feeling I'm not going to be the best mummy I can be today!

I just can't see the situation getting any better. Think she just doesn't like to sleep! I am just trying to get used to not sleeping, there are no other solutions.

Right, I need caffeine....

[ILikeUranus]

Hello purple! I just wandered in here because I'm sleepless like the thread title but I see everyone has babies. Lovely! I have just got insomnia. Still I thought I'd give you some company. Mine are 6 and 3 now and they were crap sleepers too. I tried all sorts, especially with dd. By the time ds came along I just thought 'sod it' and didn't even bother with a crib. He slept in bed with me and helped himself to boob whenever he wanted. He was still a crap sleeper but at least I got to lay down in my own bed all night! Also dh would take the kids from ridiculous o-clock every morning and give them breakfast so I could catch up on sleep every morning. He still has that habit - one of his redeeming features! I hope you get some sleep tonight.

[Purpleboa]

Hey all. Hoping the silence means your babies are sleeping through!

Mine certainly isn't. Sorry to post another vent but I'm at breaking point. Sleep is so fucked up! Tonight she won't settle at all, oh god I'm just ridiculously exhausted. I could scream and scream. Why can't I just get a fucking break?? Seens everyone else on here occasionally gets at least the odd night of sleeping through, why doesn't my DD even do that?

I thought it was because of her cold. But that's on its way out. I'm sick of making excuses for her. Fact is, she's a shit sleeper and I KNOW that is never ever going to change.

I feel so lonely and desperate. There is no one who can help me. I used to worry this might kill me, these days I'm kinda hopeful it might.

[zombiemeow]

fluff I often wonder if these people at the groups lie. After ds was prescribed the melatonin I started a thread asking if people had used it before, I was shocked at the amount of people that came on there saying that ds' sleep sounds normal for his age!

Purple I know that feeling! I went through bad sleeping baby threads, 4 month regression threads, 8 month regression threads, so many people would come and go once their babies were all sleeping better and at almost 15 months old were still here

Ds slept 6.30- 4.30 last night I know it's just because this cold is about to come out of him, he usually sleeps good just before being ill. I'm gutted because I would feel amazing sleeping for that time but because I'm so ill I still feel like I had been hit by a bus!

[Cathster]

Oh purple, I know how you feel and I'm only 5 months in to the disturbed nights! That sucks you don't get responses anymore when you post separate threads. If anything it's worse as they get older as you see more and more younger babies around start to sleep through and wonder what's wrong with yours!

The baby groups I go to all have babies that are similar ages to DD and they either sleep through or one mum complained the other day they had a bad night - their DD woke up once!!! Another pulls faces every time we talk about one 4 mo that sleeps through, turns out hers sleeps 9-5!!! It is hard not to feel resentful.

We get the constant "how's the sleep going?" Followed by advice such as "cut down her day naps", "give her water instead of milk" or "just let her cry, she'll settle eventually"!!

You are not a failure. Every baby is different and it's no reflection on your parenting how well she sleeps - it's the luck of the draw!

GP checked DD over and it's just a case of waiting it out which is what I thought. We ended up almost missing her bedtime because only managed to get the last slot of the day and it ran over by 30 mins, then we had to stop by the pharmacy. She was in full melt down mode by the time we got home!

Better night than the night before though as she actually went down in her cot, thank god! Wake ups at 11, 2 and 4, with dummy inserts in between and cuddles from 5 - amazing! We did dose her up on Nurofen and calpol though so that probably helped. Feel bad giving her medicine but I'd rather that than she suffer and the doctor recommended it.

[Purpleboa]

Morning all! Coffee anyone??

Bad night again but because of poor DD's cold, I was expecting that.

I hear you Fluff. The babies in my mum friends group have all been good sleepers although they have been affected by regressions etc. Nevertheless, good sleep is the norm for them. I've been chatting with a friend who has a 6 week old who initially wasn't sleeping well. But even she's starting to do longer stretches now! Obvs I'm glad for her mum but jeez it makes me feel a massive failure. She's even offered to look after my DD so I can get some sleep! Which is lovely of her but what does that say about me??

Does anyone else feel like that? I guess I'm talking to the mums with long term bad sleepers, whose babies have never or only occasionally slept through, for whom a spell of 3 hours of unbroken sleep would be a cause for joy. That's why I set up the initial sleepless thread - wanted to know I wasn't alone! I think after a while, people stop being so sympathetic. There's a definite thing of 'oh you again. You still here??' I'm 8 months in and if I do post a separate thread on here, I rarely get responses.

Sorry to whinge. It's just hard not to feel a bit..I dunno, left behind? I guess because for so many, sleep issues resolve themselves by 3 months in usually. Which is great but when you're in the minority whose babies are still disco dancing at night, it's hard not to feel deeply envious. I'll admit I find myself reading threads on here and feeling bitter when people complain about twice nightly wake ups. Makes me a not nice person, I know.

Sorry, just needed to get that off my chest! Going to go and get coffee now....

[fluffikins]

Lots of wake ups last night before we went to bed but there's a new tooth this morning so at least there's a reason!

Starting to get a bit demoralised as everyone I my baby group have their babies starting to sleep for longer now. I'm guessing that it's related to food as Dd doesn't take any but their babies are wolfing it down.

[Cathster]

Morning ladies, DH came in and took DD off me at half 4 so I've had a few more hours sleep - though all I could hear when I was trying to sleep this morning was DD crying and DH in a foul mood banging things around! Came downstairs after an hours sleep and he said he was annoyed that I'd been up all night!

Sorry to hear your DD has another cold too purple. I swear mine has had a permanent cold for the last 2 months! Roll on summer!

tangerine that makes more sense knowing your DS age, I'm sure DD went through the same at that age. I hated the 6 week point but it did get better quickly (for a while anyway but that's just us!) and you are quite entitled to moan having been awake 24 hours!!

zombie oh no, hope your cold disappears soon! It's awful being poorly with a little one to take care of.

[Purpleboa]

Zombie have considered my GP. But HV was no use and I have little faith in my GP anyway.

[Purpleboa]

Hey ladies, welcome Cathster. Their sleep gets disrupted by the smallest of things doesn't it? Hopefully it will go back to normal though. If she is capable of doing an 8 hour stretch she can again. That's what I take heart from!

So DD has another sodding cold. Which does explain the awful sleep - bit of a relief cos she isn't usually that bad. Her colds don't tend to last too long so fingers crossed.

Ugh. I'm. So. Weary. Feel sick with it.

[zombiemeow]

Purple, that is exactly the same as my ds. I have taken him to gp/dietitian/consultant/sleep consultant, I have found them all useless I'm just praying it passes. It may be worth seeing your gp and let me know if they say anything useful! Unlike mine

Tangerine snoring h's make me angry we had it the other night then he gets up and tells me he's hardly slept! I could of punched him in the face!

Cath there is a horrible cold going around, ds has got it and I have got it too hope she's feeling better soon.

We had the usual crap night and up at 4.30. It feels worse today as my throat is so sore and I have this horrible cold. All I want to do is sleep

[TangerineTrees]

7-8hours Cath?! Sounds like heaven. If she's been there before she can go back to those habits, right!!

DS is only 6 weeks so I know I shouldn't moan yet.. but I'm dreading this complete lack of sleep carrying on! My mum has him for a few hours some days so I can sleep, & DH does when he's [rarely] off work.

5.26am now.. I've officially been awake for 24hrs straight.

[icklekid]

Morning ladies thought I would pop in as managed to sleep until 4am which seems miraculous at the moment!

cath they do sleep again I promise it just takes time

Blackout blinds are the solution to light mornings ladies although I do feel slightly more human when ds wakes at 4.30/5am if the sun is up

As for day time naps ds always slept when out /on me until 8 months when I realised we needed to get ready for me to go to work and him to go to childminders so he now naps in cot. It wasn't a fun transition but worth it in the end

Hope you all have restful days with plenty of coffee!

[Cathster]

Oh no - that must be so frustrating! How old is he? Do you have anyone that can watch him in the day so you can catch up on a bit of sleep?

DD's sleep had started to get better before this blooming cold - well better in that she was waking every two-three hours as opposed to 40 mins-1 hour.

I just keep remembering those few blissful weeks back in November where she slept 7-8 hours.... Doesn't feel like we will ever get back there again!

[TangerineTrees]

Ah Cathster, with a little luck your GP may be able to help - fingers crossed her cold can be treated, at least more easily than just a stubborn refusal to sleep! Hope it gets sorted, for you & DD, she's probably as desperate to nod off as you are!

I've waited all kinds of times to put DS down - straight after a feed, 20 mins, an hour.. it's the only game I can play all night! It's infuriating watching him go from completely zonked out to screaming like a - well, a baby - in about 4 seconds flat. I can't help but feel angry at him and I hate that because it's not his fault, I'm just so bloody tired!

[Cathster]

Oh tangerine - my sympathies! How frustrating for you how long are you waiting once hes asleep? I'd be in the same situation if my DH hadn't taken her for a few hours at the start of the night, so I've had two hours sleep at least....!

DD is 5 months old (4 months corrected).

Gave her a feed a while ago and put her down hoping the milk coma would keep her asleep, no such luck! Woke coughing straight away! So back to sitting up holding her. Definitely making a trip to the GP tomorrow to see if they can do anything although think it's going to be a case of waiting it out...

[TangerineTrees]

Purple I'd go to the GP - may be nothing but will at least put your mind at rest. Sorry to not have any words of wisdom.

So it's 3am & I haven't yet had any sleep. DS falls asleep on me, I wait until he's in a deep sleep, put him in his basket & all hell breaks loose. And repeat. I am losing my mind.
Cathster how old is your DD?

To add insult to injury I can hear DH snoring from the spare room - through 2 closed doors & across the landing. Cheers.

[Cathster]

Hi all, mind if I join you?

My DD has never been a great sleeper but before Christmas it all went to pot and we've never recovered!

Currently she has a stinking cold (complete with lost voice!) so won't stay asleep in her cot, wakes up as soon as she is put down as she can't breathe.

We gave up trying to settle her at 10pm, DH had her until half midnight now I've taken over. She's zonked out in my arms but will wake if I put her down.

And I'm pretty sure I've caught her cold now too!

Poor you purple can't advise I'm afraid but sounds very stressful for you. if it's happening constantly I'd probably take her to the GP just to get her checked out.

[Purpleboa]

Yeah I get obsesses with sleep too. It makes a crazy lady out of me! I cannot WAIT until at least the daytime naps are someone else's responsibility when she goes to nursery.

Awful night here. I really don't know what to do. Wouldn't settle in cot of course. Bring her in with me. Sleeps for half an hour. Wakes. Cries and won't settle despite feeding and rocking. I'm at my wits end. Thinking of just going downstairs and giving up on sleep for both of us as it's so stressful.

Can anyone advise why she's doing this?? 3am I might be a little more understanding, but ffs this is meant to be her sleepiness time! I'm seriously worried she has something wrong with her. Should I take her to the GP do you think? Oh god I just don't know what I'm doing any more. She has broken me.

[Pyjamaramadrama]

No it's not selfish or negative it's completely understandable, and she sleeps well out anyway it makes perfect sense. You get cabin fever being stuck in.

I'm possibly reflecting anyway as I've probably gone the opposite way. I can get ds to nap at home in the day, but if we go out it's very short naps if anything at all, and a grumpy baby. Result is me not going out too much. I mean we do go out but not every day. I kind of rely on that hour mid afternoon when I can eat and watch loose women how sad has my life become?

I've become rigid with sticking to this routine, and at the weekend I find myself getting frustrated with dh because he'll mess up the routine.

Reading that back I sound awful, I've become a bit obsessed with sleep, I think because I never know what the nights are going to be like I'm scared to change anything in the day.

[Purpleboa]

Thanks pyjama. It's just hard not to take it personally, you know?

Yeah I have considered just staying in for a week to nail it all. Problem is, and this is selfish I know, but the very thought of doing that inspires dread. I feel I already have my nights ruined by sleep issues. During the day it's easier for me to just have DD nap on me or in the carrier. I know I need to get this cot nap thing sorted...but honestly, the way things are right now, having to try and get DD to cot nap (something which she strenuously resists) is beyond me. I actually think I'd lose my fragile grip on sanity.

And in the cot she'll only do 30 mins. Whereas in the carrier pram or on me, she can do an hour plus. Not that it makes any difference to her night time sleep! Neither does getting a lot of fresh air. But she's happier when she has good daytime naps. And so am I :) I can't nap during the day - it's impossible, I'm unable to switch off. But I can rest while she sleeps.

Sorry, that all sounded very negative! I'm just resigning myself to the fact that she's a terrible sleeper and never will sleep through. What I need to focus on is learning how to function on minimum sleep!

Oh god. Hadn't thought about the lighter nights thing cries

[zombiemeow]

Is it that horrible cold going round fluff? Ds has it too

Pyjamar I'm terrified of lighter nights. I know it's going to just make things worse... If that's possible!

We had such a bad night last night. I knew it would be bad because of ds being unwell but I never thought it would be that bad. I think the longest stretch of sleep I got was 30 mins. He was waking up and not settling at all unless I sat up holding him. He was up for the day at 4 am

And I have royally fucked up today. I'm so angry at myself. I finally got him down for a nap coming up to lunch time. He woke after about 15 mins but was still so tired he would have very easily slept on me, but no. I kept him up. I thought if I kept him up then he would definitely have another nap later in the day to stop him getting so tired before bed time. I was so so wrong I'm now trying to get an extremely over tired ds to sleep

[Pyjamaramadrama]

How are you all today?

Please don't any of you think it's your fault that your babies don't sleep. Ds1 sleeps through anything I mean literally anything, it's a running joke with us that we built furniture in his room once while he was asleep. Ds2 wakes up if a floorboard creaks.

It's understandable that you might lose your temper. It's gets so frustrating with the constant waking, crying, then not knowing what to do.

Purple one thing I've just thought, I think you mentioned you like to get out and about quite a bit which is completely understandable. Would it be worth trying the opposite for a week to try to get her napping in the cot during the day? Might you be able to also catch a nap during the day?

I ask as I only seem to be able to get ds to have a decent daytime sleep at home. Actually ds best nights have been after a good afternoon sleep and an afternoon walk.

Is anyone else dreading the light mornings? I'm looking forward to Spring but worried the light mornings will mean an even more sleepless baby.