Hi all, I'm new here and signed up just so I could get some advice.
So just a little background first (sorry it's going to be a long post)
I've been with my current boyfriend for almost a year.
Things have been amazing although we've had a few bumps in the road. He has a heart of gold and him and my daughter absolutely adore each other, they have such a special bond already. He cooks for us, helps around the house, runs me baths and looks after us when we need it.
But he is very insecure. He has had a very awful upbringing and he has had a traumatic past with his ex. It has left him very closed off and with trust issues. This means he never talks about issues that we have together at all.
He went out on Saturday night to a work thing and he ended up meeting a woman. They had been flirting and talking and he had told her that we were having some issues. She messaged him when she left and she invited him back to hers and he had full intentions of going but he didn't have the money to get there then back home (I'd seen the messages and the intentions were clear). I was completely shocked and heartbroken that he even contemplated it.
I broke up with him and packed all of his stuff up. He begged me not to leave him, gave me a sincere apology and broke down. He told me he would do absolutely anything if it meant not losing me. He recognises that he hurt me, he knows he is an idiot for throwing away something so special for one night of (almost) fun.
I told him that I needed a few days to make sense of everything and to clear my head. I said that when I have had a few days then maybe we can talk but it has to be a completely open and honest conversation and we need to get to the bottom of why he felt the need to cheat and we need to figure out any issues and if we're going to get back together we need to be as honest and open in our communication as we can be, and that he can't bottle things up. I said we need to establish some clear healthy boundaries to make us both feel secure and help build the trust back up if we do get back together.
My mam has called me an idiot for wanting to talk to him in a few days and see if we can figure it out. My best friend said she supports me in anything I do but she hates him now.
Am I wrong for wanting to try and patch things up and give him a second chance? I know it is entirely my choice and I believe that me throwing him and his things out may have shocked him into realising that I am serious about leaving. So if he really wants to be with me he will end up working hard and putting in the effort to try and fix it (I'm hoping) because he realises what he has lost.
I just wanted to know what peoples opinions/own experiences were and if it ended up working out? I know that 9 times out of 10 cheating doesn't just happen, it is because something in the relationship is lacking and needs to be addressed, it's no excuse no but it is the reason in most cases.
Thank you for taking the time to read this and TIA for any advice!
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Relationships
Cheating boyfriend
HippyM · 27/06/2022 13:36
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