Ladies who are used to dating older men

[Awomanneedingadvice]

This is for you ladies that have always dated older men. Would you date someone your age or younger? I have never been with or dated a man my age or younger. I am mid to late 20’s and have only ever dated men at least 5 years older, previously 10 years older. I have started speaking to someone my age (a few months younger) and I don’t know how I feel about it. He is lovely but not sure whether to continue with it (within COVID guidelines) and the only reason for me second guessing it is the age. No red flags or anything as of yet. I am probably just being silly but I want to know people’s experiences with dating someone their age or younger

[NiceGerbil]

Almost all my boyfriends have been younger. DH is 5 years younger.

Not on purpose just the way it turned out.
Plenty of older men are immature dicks. Same as younger men.

[peak2021]

There is a French drama teacher who could offer advice!

[EarthSight]

@StrawberryLipstickStateOfMind Jesus. There's alarm bells all over that. In my uni, we would have thought it weird and inappropriate even for a 20 year old guy to be dating a 17 year old.

[EarthSight]

Manchild - the clue is in the name.

I have no stats to back me up, but many Manchildren will be like that for life. Some of them never mature, so it doesn't matter how old they are. I wouldn't recommend an age gap of larger than 5 years. Of course many couples do have more than that, but then you risk of you not being on quite the same page in terms of memories, popular culture, things like that. Also, men who look for someone much younger are usually trouble. You run the risk of being replaced when you grow too old. Some of them are convinced they can grow old gracefully, whilst having total double standards of what they expect form their young partners. Some of them enjoy the admiration, the ego trip and the power imbalance that reduces are the woman matures. I'm not saying that older men will embody these qualities to the extreme, but you may find hints of it over time as he starts to become restless.

If there are no red flags, there are no red flags. If you are used to older men, it will feel very strange at first, and I totally get that.

[Awomanneedingadvice]

Thanks ladies

[Blacktothepink]

I prefer younger men

[StrawberryLipstickStateOfMind]

I don't think age has anything to do with maturity.

When I was 16 I met my first serious boyfriend who was 24, I was very much the mature one in the relationship.

My ex husband was 6 years older than me, didn't really notice the age difference when we first got together but when things went horrible and since the separation has shown himself to be an immature, spiteful arsehole.

I've dated a lot since then. Without fail, the dates with older guys have been awful each time. The best ones have been with younger ones! And the absolute best, was a 22 year old (I was 31 at the time). He was kind, knew how to treat women, was honest about what he wanted and we had a cracking time. I still miss him!

[Happycat1212]

I don’t usually date men massively older than myself, it’s always only been 3/4 years kind of thing but no I wouldn’t date anyone younger

[hereyehearye]

Sorry but people who say they are mature for their age rarely are. You sound pretty young to me. At least not old enough to understand that there are MANY men who are in their 40s who are still the classic man child. If you think dating older is going to protect you from useless men, you're in for a rude awakening.

[Awomanneedingadvice]

@Thewithesarehere apologies if my post came across offensive, I was simply after some advice and some positive stories from women that have dated younger men or men their age.

[Awomanneedingadvice]

That is lovely to hear . Of course things don’t just come down to age but it’s always been something I have dismissed people because of

[SunFlowerRose]

I’ve always dated older men as younger seemed to immature but they never worked out as we always wanted different things.

I’ve been in my current relationship for three months with someone the same age and we have much more in common.

I’m also much happier than I was at the start of all the other relationships.

Though tbh I suspect it’s not so much the age of the blokes that is wrong but maybe the blokes we keep picking?

[ThreeTwoOneBlastOff]

My older boyfriends were idiots.

A friend of mine discounts men that don’t have the right qualifications (a degree), which is so short sighted. You need to forget about your criteria and look at each person for who they are.

Older men are quite capable of being a man child.

[GidgetGirl]

I don’t think age has a huge amount to do with maturity. It’s totally an individual thing - there are some ridiculous 60 year olds out there.

My partners have all been older - many significantly so - but I was never drawn to them because I thought they’d be more mature. I just didn’t (and still don’t) find men around my own age attractive. Each to their own, of course.

[Thewithesarehere]

@Awomanneedingadvice

Immaturity is my main concern Bibbity. I have always been more mature for my age and I don’t want a man child like some of my friends have

I find this post of yours offensive OP.
It paints other people in a light that is not nice. Ten years ago, I was not as mature as I am now. Neither was DH. We grew together and that is a great part of being together. Equally, the men you dated would be called a man child by women their own age which is quite off putting for me becuase that is where you can actually compare without being unfair: of course a 25 year old man won’t be as mature as a 35/40 year old man. However, if a man at 35/40 is as mature as a 25 year old, do you not think there can be more explanations than ‘I am more mature for my age’ only?

[Awomanneedingadvice]

I’m going to give it a go and try my hardest to forget about the age. I guess the fact that it hasn’t work out with people I have previously dated means I should try something different!

[SoulofanAggron]

I dated a lot of older guys and there can be several issues which you would encounter as time went on. If they were still in their 20s/early 30s then you probably didn't encounter them, plus if it was only 5 years or so most times it isn't much of a gap.

As they get older men have more impotence and also lose their looks and you become less attracted to them. There can also be a bit of a power imbalance where they disrespect you.

I'm going to try not to date older guys again.

Definitely try dating the guy your own age. A year or two either way is your own age really.

[partyatthepalace]

All you need to worry about is is there a connection or not. If you are mature so might he be - how will you know unless you try? And in the long run, being close in age is ideal.

[Pinkdelight3]

I'd only ever gone out with older guys, but in my mid-20s I went out with my DH who's a year younger and it worked out beautifully (still happy 20 years later). He's always been mature. Whereas my older brother has always acted at least a decade younger than me. People are individuals. If this guy is lovely and not being immature, why be wary on principle?

[ThreeTwoOneBlastOff]

DH is 4 years younger than me, it never crosses my mind. You’d be unreasonable to write someone off purely based on them being younger. Maturity is not just down to age it’s also down to personality and experience.

[SapatSea]

In our 20's my best friend would only ever date older guys. She liked the fact they were "established" and usually had a house/flat, car, spare cash so would pay for nice dinners, weekends away, flowers and gifts and seemed more confident etc. She really didn't want to date a contemporary who was as skint as her, no car, wanting to go Dutch on nights out.

[YerAWizardHarry]

Of my 3 serious relationships , 2 of them were 9 years older than me. Always thought men my age were immature blah blah blah. My current partner is 14 months younger than me and I have never been happier, we actually have things in common which is really nice.

[mindutopia]

When I was in my late teens/20s, I always dated men 3-10 years older than me. Then when I was 28, I met dh...who was 21. Never in a million years would I have even given a 21 year old (he was still in uni!) a second glance under normal circumstances. But we happened to be both living somewhere at the time where the dating pool was very small, and I really wasn't even looking, but we ended up spending a lot of time together as we really clicked and had a lot of fun. Fast forward, 12 years and two dc and here we are. He is (and actually was at the time) the most sensible, mature person I've ever dated. He's more mature and sensible than I am, even now.

[BibbityBobbety]

Maturity doesn't relate to age OP. You can have a very stable, secure, responsible 25 year old, and a fickle, clueless 40 year old. It boils down to personality. I only date men my age or a few years older or younger and look for a few things. Own property/assets or saving for one, hasn't racked up huge debts, live away from family and know how run a household - cook, clean, pay bills, experienced enough of the world to be savvy and understand different perspectives, treats you with respect and knows how to manage conflict, and communicate, is a considerate lover who cares about your pleasure. Focus on these aspects if you want a mature man, not age.

[Awomanneedingadvice]

Thanks everyone. I guess like PP said even a 40 year old man could be a man child.