Another year, another thread !
Can't believe this is thread number SIX ! and that I am still getting amazing support from all the wonderful mumsnetters out there ! 
RECAP :
First thread from December 2019 after my H ruined my birthday weekend (and 1st anniversay of my dad's death) by giving me the silent treatment all weekend to "punish me" for not being grateful enough for him coming away and buying me a present and a card.
//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3448545-Confronting-DH-about-his-sulking?msgid=84022238
Thanks to some amazing posters I realised that H's behaviour (which was not at all a one-off) was emotionally abusive and unacceptable.
I prepared to leave him and got plans in place but got "hoovered" back in by H with promises of joint counselling, individual counselling for him, and regular "date nights". Unfortunately none of that changed the dynamic in our relationship : 2nd thread :
//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3498886-Confronting-DH-about-his-sulking-part2?msgid=85957683
I started a 3rd thread in May when H and I had decided to separate :
//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3580872-LEAVING-sulking-H?msgid=88239005
and that's when things got nightmarish.
As everyone on here pointed out, the most dangerous time for women is when they decide to leave an abusive partner.
In a nutshell, H went missing, had an acute psychotic episode, was admitted to a psychiatric facility and stayed there for over 2 months.
Staff at the hospital warned me H could be dangerous for me and advised me to move out of the family home asap which I did, in fear for my life.
Fourth thread :
//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/a3637219-DIVORCING-sulking-H?msgid=92845754#92845754
saw me going to court to safeguard the DC through a request for full custody with limited visiting rights for exH.
With the help of my great lawyer we got the decision we wanted from the judge but the battle never ends over every little thing - schools, activities, money...
Fifth thread :
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3786349-Divorcing-sulking-H-will-it-happen-in-2020?msgid=102523551
But exH appealed against the judge's initial decision so we had to go back to court in mid-February and with COVID etc. the ruling came in June 2020.
The saga continued as the judge ruled she didn't have enough information to make a decision about custody (exH didn't provide any) and so in November 2020 the whole family had to go for a "psychological assessment".
Right now we are still:
- waiting for the expert's psychological report as to whether exH is safe to have the DC overnight
- still waiting for the designated solicitor to draw up a financial settlement
- waiting for exH to agree to the divorce - but after 2 years living separately (May 2021 or September 2021) he will have no choice.
Which is why 2021 WILL be the year of the divorce !
I keep posting after all this time because:
a) I have had and continue to get brilliant, incisive, caring advice and support from other posters
b) I regularly see threads from women with "sulking" partners and who might (I hope) gain some insight into their situation by taking a look at my threads and the advice on them
c) my threads are absolute proof of the fact that leaving an abusive man is dangerous (even when you are not even sure yourself whether he is really abusive or not). We were a "normal" family, looked "perfect" from the outside, and suddenly we have been involved with social services, police, courts. I can't even begin to imagine how hard all that must be without the financial means and real-life/online support that I have had.
Happy also for anyone to PM me if anything in my threads strikes a chord with you
