DD has sent another child inappropriate messages
Realitea · 11/08/2022 17:36
I feel absolutely awful about this. Dd is 11 and I just found out she’s been sending very rude messages to a boy in the year below. I’ve spoken to the mum. I felt so upset for her, me, the boy..
Dd has only had this phone for about six months and I thought I’d put all the parental blocking stuff on there. I remember doing it.
All her friends have phones but I just can’t let her have one now if she’s going to act so inappropriately. Why has she done this and what do I say to her when she gets home later? Anyone have any experience on how to handle this? There’s also a lot of really nasty bullying towards her and another girl on one of the apps they use.
PastaCheese · 11/08/2022 17:40
Parental blocks won't stop her sending messages unless you've specifically set that up
And not sure why you would as that's usually the point of a phone
Clearly she has proven she isn't ready for a phone. So it goes away for a while, if not a year+
On why did she do it? Why do kids so any of the weird and mean shit they do.
Maybe she was bored, annoyed, thought it would be funny.
Tigerteafor3 · 11/08/2022 17:44
I would remove the phone and work on the underlying issue. I would imagine that being bullied is leading to some of this behaviour but does not excuse it.
I would tell her that she would hope that her bully's parents take their phones away so you're doing the same until she can prove she is responsible enough.
Realitea · 11/08/2022 17:52
Oh dear I managed to put dad instead of dd 😂 sorry everyone.
I agree - Nokia brick it is until she can be more responsible. Obviously too young to act responsibly and know what’s acceptable and what isn’t. It’ll save her a lot of bullying anyway by the looks of things
Realitea · 11/08/2022 18:09
@GrazingSheep the parent of the boy called me and told me. I’ve never been so upset in my life. Dd knows I have the passcode to the phone and that we can check whenever we want so I can’t believe she’s done this. I thought any kind of adult stuff was blocked using the parental filters
itsgettingweird · 11/08/2022 18:13
I agree about a chat.
I'd start asking her if she knows what "xxxx" means taking something she's said.
Also have you seen the stream of messages? Is it a 2 way thing or is she just sending the messages randomly?
Neither is ok but context is often the key.
I also agree with being worried about what she's been exposed to to have such language at that age.
Tinaaaaarrrghhh · 11/08/2022 18:17
Pieceofpurplesky · 11/08/2022 18:16
Wow. Where is she seeing/hearing this explicit stuff - does she have her phone unsupervised?
Shes 11 and in 7th grade. Who doesn’t know all about explicit terms and (I assume in this day and age) have seen quite a bit of adult online stuff out of curiosity by this time even if not on their own phone?
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.