Miserable daughter

[Frolicinameadow]

My DD is 10, in general she’s a happy, funny kid. Has great ideas for play, entertaining herself, she has lots of things she enjoys like reading, art, which I encourage but don’t push.
In the last year she has become utterly miserable. If she as much as brushes last something she’s howling and crying like she’s broken a bone, she complains constantly about everything, she’s too cold, she’s too hot, yesterday it was because her friends who had been out playing all morning didn’t leave snow for her to play with then she went out at 2pm.
We’re very close and talk openly about everything. I’ve asked her to try tell me how she’s feeling inside but she just says sad.
I brought her to the GP over every little thing hurting her and of course while she was there she was sunshine and delight and made me look insane.
I am completely lost on what to do. How can I help her be less miserable? I worry she’s going to grow into one of those people that drains the colour from everything with her constant moaning.
I’ve asked some local parents were friends with who have kids the same age but they’re not experiencing anything like this.
I just want to help my daughter to be happy more of the time, and less like everything in life is a chore for her. My heart is breaking seeing her so sad :(

[theneverendinglaundry]

Oldish thread but popping my head round the door to say my 11yo dd is the same. She reminds me of Marvin the Paranoid Android from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy 😂

I blame it on a combination of hormones and lockdown.

[Rainydayss]

Too tired to go..I meant

[Rainydayss]

My DD is nearly 10 and also very miserable, moody and not interested in anything other than talking to her friends on the phone. I know lockdown isn't helping and it's stopping her have her playdates etc, however I'm struggling to engage her in anything.
Even going for a walk results in dramatics saying she's too I'll to go.
I'm feeling it's hormones but worry it's something else. How has you DD been over lockdown op?

[Frolicinameadow]

Thanks moodymarshall, I’ll look into that and do some reading on it!

Lydia777, Jesus as if the teen years aren’t long enough

Thank you for your replies. I really wish kids came with an instruction manual. Would make it so much easier

[Lydia777]

I think she is just hitting the teen years a little early and its all just raging hormones. Many kids/teens are a nightmare at home for a number of years. It is no reflection on the type of adults they turn out to be. I think its best to stop worrying so much and adopt a breezy, you'll be fine attitude when she complains/has a small injury.

[MoodyMarshall]

The reason I asked these questions is because my DS1 was recently diagnosed with Asperger's (Autism Level 1) and has Sensory Processing Disorder as part of this. If you google sensory processing disorder, you might find that your daughter matches some of the criteria (some, not all, because it covers lots of different presentations). I'm not diagnosing, btw, just mentioning the possibility.

Girls with these difficulties tend to mask better than boys, and are often very well behaved in school.

If your daughter does have SPD, you can speak to an occupational therapist, who will assess her needs.

[Frolicinameadow]

Teachers say she’s a great kid, brilliant with new kids in the class and there’s a friend of hers has had some difficulties in the last couple of years and lost her father unexpectedly and my daughter has been wonderful with this friend, both in and out of school.
We put no pressure on any of our kids academically but we fully support them and engage with homework and school life.
She doesn’t appear to be the same in school when it comes to hurting herself, she has played basketball, GAA which is a full contact sport, and many others with enthusiasm and not showing any fear of tackles etc.
But for example, this morning she walked too close to the end of my bed and brushed her leg off the mattress. She burst into tears howling like she had broken a bone. This is a regular occurrence and why I brought her to the GP.
I understand if we stub our toe it hurts like hell but this is the slightest brush of walking past someone or another time a pal pulled her hat off her head and I honestly through she had been seriously hurt with the over reaction from her.
We don’t feed into it. I assure her she’s ok, but she will wail that it hurts. This could go on for 10 minutes.
I’ve never seen anything like it tbh.
If I’m doing something wrong I will hold my hands up and do my best to change but I’m just lost in all of this.

[MoodyMarshall]

What do teachers say about her? Often children, esp girls, can 'mask' any difficulties they're having and it all comes flooding out at home, where they feel safe.

If she's able to put on a brave face to the outside world, then it's a compliment that she's able to express her feelings with you (although miserable for you if she's feeling unhappy!).