I would back off from checking her homework and praise her for the effort she puts into just doing it.
I have never ever corrected through DD's homework as I see it as counter productive as the teacher would not be seeing a true reflection of her ability and understanding.
I look at homework and praise the effort that has gone into it.

Poor mite, the pressure is obviously too much for her.

I'd be doing the bare minimum at home and instead focusing on creative arts/play until her confidence is better.

My 8 year old DS gets really upset about getting things wrong. He will almost burst into tears if he makes even a tiny mistake. This is despite teachers and us telling him we learn through mistakes and getting things wrong is normal.

At a recent parents evening we discussed it and the teacher suggested giving him activities where you have to use trial and error to reach a solution - meaning that making mistakes is part of the process. She gave us easy sudoku-type puzzles and other logic puzzles to have a go at which he did enjoy doing.

She also recommended that we teach by example. Let him see us fail at things and say 'Oh well, at least I tried', 'Nobody's perfect' and that sort of thing.

It sounded like very good advice to me so I hope it helps you too!

maybe stop going through her homework?

My dd, also 7 is very similar. A perfectionist by nature, she has ,since absolutely tiny, got into a panic-type state over things she thinks aren't good enough. She sat in front of a computer in school the other day for a whole lesson, getting increasingly stressed, as she couldn't think of what to say (she'd been asked to write helpful things that she does, and being quite hard on herself, and honest, couldn't think of any). Teacher kept her in at playtime to finish it and she got very upset. She didn't explain to the teacher what the problem was, as she gets so wound up that she finds it even more upsetting to open up and talk about it. We have to wait until she is calm and the moment is long past, to get her to open up about tricky things, and even then it can take months, or in one or two cases, years! She is an intense character. We do try and focus on perfection not being the point, keeping trying even when things go awry is the point, but she isn't buying it, so i sympathise.

There are a couple of books you might want to look out - one about how the brain 'grows' (learns) when we make mistakes and another about how a mistake can be turned into something creative - 'my fantastic elastic brain' and 'beautiful oops' - might help you reframe mistakes as something useful?!

I'm sure I read about a girls school teaching how important failure is because so many pupils were demanding 100% accuracy from themselves all the time - and that brings real problems when they do encounter failure - as we all must.

I'd be tempted to back off homework altogether for a while and let your DD use the time to be creative, make something, read a book, do something 'educational' but fun which will give her confidence and a sense of accomplishment. Then reintroduce the homework when she's more settled.

My super brainy Dad, put up two years at school (with a July birthday) and still finding it easy, didn't really face failure at all until medical school and it crushed his confidence and led to him leaving and trying another course. So I am aware that I need to help my dds get to grips with tenacity as opposed to flawless success, but I am struggling to get the message across. Maybe because it is something I also struggle with. My DH is much more of a human terrier thank goodness. He never expects to be excellent at anything from the off, he expects to work at it and get better.
I am going to buy the books suggested, they sound perfect (for want of a better word!!)

Sounds like you've already got a really good approach. I would also look at mindsets by Carole Dweck. I would never praise her for outcome (E. G. No "Well done, you got it all right / finished so quickly") or tell her she's smart. Instead, would praise only for effort or use of particular strategies. I'd be continuing with the message that if she isn't making mistakes, she isn't learning- she's just going over stuff she already knows. Continue talking about how learning is meant to be hard. If my kids tell me they've got everything right, I tell them it's dreadful because they aren't stretching themselves and they need to ask their teacher for harder work. I'm pretty sure they don't, but I hope it gives them the message that mistakes are a sign that good learning is going on.

I'm off to check out Carol Deck too. It is something unexpected ( for me anyway) about motherhood, that in sorting out things my daughters are struggling with, I'm given me an insight into myself and my own history. I found my dad's old journals from his time at medical school and they make very painful reading. he talks of the shock of being "one of the herd" and is very hard on himself in every way. Makes me cry just writing it actually. I have two super bright dds but they very much hate to be less than perfect at anything. I can see it doesn't make for a happy life! Or a truly productive one, as there is no room for experimentation.

SirVix I once attended a talk given by the head of a super selective all girls school who spoke of how important it is that really bright girls are taught how to fail. Following on from that they learn better to have tried and failed than never to have tried at all.

That is interesting lonecat. I am going to think long and hard about how and why I praise my daughters, and about teaching them to be unafraid of failing . -sorry all for the strangely misplaced "me". I changed the text slightly to make it clearer and then left that odd "me " in the middle of it. Doh.