Period question re my 9 year old DD

[MrFranklyShankly]

Hi all,

My dd is about to turn 9 and I was wondering as my own period started when I turned 10 is it likely that she will be the same? My dd is very panicky about blood etc so should I have a chat with her about what to expect with periods or should I just wait until she actually gets her first period? I hate the thought of it happening and her freaking out with fear over what's happening to her (which is what happened with me, had to refer to a friends just17 mag to find out the details as my mum was in complete denial) and how and what did you say to explain it all, I know she does relationship classes at school but periods isn't talked about until they are in their final year...anyway thanks for any advice on any of my many questions....Frankly :-)

[jenhop9]

hi I,m new on here and was wondering if anyone could help me.my daughter is 9 in July and for the past year she has been so constantly moody and her attitude is out of control its like shes a 16 year old,also for the past year shes been loosing yellowy discharge and its quite a defensive smell we've been to the doctors loads and they've taken swabs and it not an infection,she complains of headaches and is very tired. could she be due to start her periods soon? ive read on here also that they get very oily hair hers is always oily and greasy.

[Purplesu68]

I was 16 when I started my periods my eldest DD who is now 26 was 11, my youngest DD who is now 9 is showing signs of puberty already, we have had the talk and brought books as when she was 8 she asked where babies come from so instead of hiding the fact I brought the books and explained x

[Chocotrekkie]

Please please have the talk. I went to the loo one day when I was 9 and their was blood in my knickers. I screamed.

My mum was at work (no phone) and my grandpa was looking after me (in his house).
I had never heard of periods (found out later my mum had hysterectomy when I was young so no periods in our house).

I will never forget me and my poor grandpa and my little sister (aged 6) walking to the shops and the lady in the shop having to explain to us how you attach a towel in your pants.

My mum was really upset she hadn't discussed it with me or had towels etc in the house.

[JugglingChaotically]

DDs friend was 8. It was a shock. It does seem to earlier happen these days.

[Ann65]

Thanks so much for all the chat. My daughter is almost 9 and starting to show signs of puberty. I thought this was ridiculously early and now feel reassured.

[wheresthelight]

I would also get her some towels - one of the companies do teen specific ones I think so that she gets used to being prepared just in case. If she has everything she needs should she start that should also help alleviate the fear factor.

My mum had had the talk with me but as was later discovered I have issues and so my first period was horrific, ridiculously heavy and painful and mostly just clots and terrifying but the fact I had everything in a pretty box at home meant I could sort myself out cos I knew what to do iyswim?

[Germgirl]

Thank you Poledra. I'll have a look at those
She's shown no curiosity so far. She knows where babies come out if but not how they get in there! I won't talk about things unless she asks but I'd like to be prepared if she does.
Thanks again

[MrFranklyShankly]

Well I've ordered the what's happening to me book, the period book and a book called taking care of you, so I think that should cover a good few of the different stages, I think I will give her the taking care of you book to have a little read off first, it seems gentle enough without going in all guns blazing!! As you said Downton i dont want to scare the life out of her if it's going to be a while before anything happens but don't want her to not know anything about it, it's hard to get a balance. I was a bit like your stepdaughter germ girl I was big for my age and developed quiet early on where as my dd is very slim (does dancing too Downton) so her period might be a good few years off, either way I suppose it's always good to know how your own body works and not make it to be such a mystery or a taboo topic like you have said Lottie and I would prefer to be the one to have the chat with her so she knows that she can talk to me about anything, even when she's older, I would like her to feel comfortable taking to me, although I'm sure she will be having these chat with friends at school, as you do, I'd like her have the right info too!!

I was looking through the booklet for the material for the relationship classes and they will be doing the changing body towards the end of term but it's more about emotions/feelings so maybe over the summer is the right time to broach this subject.

Thanks again for all the tips & advice

F

[Poledra]

I think the What's happening to me? book would be \ok for an 8-yo. There's also one called Let's talk about where babies come from which I got for my nosy children when a friend was pregnant and they wanted to know aaaallllll about it . I think the Period Book is probably a little out of her range yet.

Best of luck with it, Germgirl - t must be difficult, managing these things with stepchildren.

[Germgirl]

Sorry to hijack. Would those books be ok for an 8 year old (just 8). My DSD is very big for her age (in size 12-13 clothes). She also looks very 'womanly' in shape, she has little boobs, a small waist & larger hips. I'd you saw her from behind you'd think she's a short adult woman.
I worry that she's going to start puberty and her periods in the next year or so & she'll totally freak out.
Despite looking much older she's actually quite babyish at times & she has no idea yet about where babies come from or all the other bits & pieces.
I don't think her mum will talk to her about this kind of thing so I will. Not yet but if she shows any signs of early puberty I'll have to at least raise the subject.
Which books / websites would you ladies recommend?
Thank you.

[DowntonTrout]

Well, firstly, I was 12. My DD1 was 10 and my DD2 is 12 already with no signs of anything yet.

If I were you I would have the chat. 9 is very young to understand and it will be a huge shock if you haven't prepared her. Bear in mind though that it may not be imminent and that you don't want to scare or worry her- it could be years yet. It was a double edged sword, DD1 being 10, although they had covered it at school and we had talked without too much detail, it was still a shock and I have to say we weren't as prepared as we should have been. Consequentially, I gently prepped DD2 at age 9 and 3 years later she keeps asking when she will start. Unfortunately, I don't have the answer for her, she does a lot of dancing and is very slim so I gather it could delay things a bit.

I did read somewhere that it is often when they reach the 7 stone mark, which seems to bear out in my experience, but it is only a general thing and I'm not sure how true it is.

[exexpat]

I'd also recommend What's Happening to Me, and also the Period Book.

I got those for DD quite a while ago, and also chatted to her about periods, puberty etc, so when her periods started last year (at 11, same as me) she took it all in her stride. It is definitely better to make sure she knows all about it before it happens.

[Lottie4]

I also recommend the book "Whats Happening to Me" - pink version. I think most schools do talk about puberty in years 5-7, but I wanted to talk to my daughter about it, so she knew it wasn't a taboo subject and that I'd be there for her. Also, talk about who she can go to for help if you're not around, ie family, friend's mum or favourite teacher at school (doesn't have to be her current one).

I think you'll find that most girls start breast and hair growth before their periods, so if this has happened for your daughter, then I'd be prepared.

[meditrina]

Ask the school as well when they cover puberty. Many do it in year 5, but some in year 6. Do you want her to hear first from school, in the playground, or from you?

[alita7]

my mum started at 13/ 14 I started at 10 so a. you may be different b . she was shocked and we hadn't had the talk.

I started at school, but luckily despite having had no puberty classes yet, I knew what it was. We hadn't had a recent conversation but I'd always known that women have periods where blood comes out and it's so we can make babies. I don't know how I knew so I assume it came up when I was like 4 or something if I walked in on my mum in the loo and she must have explained. I wasn't bothered just used some tissue as a pad and told my mum when I got in.

[MrFranklyShankly]

Thanks for the advice folks, I have been looking at some books on amazon so I'll def purchase one or two to get us started chatting, she loves books and is interested in how the body works etc so she'll be all ears I'm sure!!!
Yes the fact that she is a bit ugh with even the slightest sight of blood I'd hate for her to be traumatised by something that is so normal and part of life. Just sometimes it's hard to know what to do for the best.
Thanks again for the tips ;--)
Frankly

[Pantone363]

Yes speak to her! Imagine the horror if it happens at school whilst she's on her own.

Start leaving sanitary products around and talk about it nonchalantly.

[Poledra]

Talk to her. Even if she is a bit panicky about blood, it'll be worse if her period starts out of the blue and she's not expecting it. I started talking to my DD1 at the same age. I gave her a book called 'What's happening to me' (Usborne) which we've read together and I have the Period Book stashed away in a drawer that I am planning to give her when I see signs of puberty.

[theincrediblealfonso]

I would definitely have a chat. If she's panicky about blood anyway, imagine how shocked she'll be if it starts and doesn't know it's normal! There's a book called "The Period Book" that I think is pretty good that you could give her to have a read too. Good luck :)