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Preteens

Gah, horrible morning with 9yo dd playing up

4 replies

CocktailQueen · 17/10/2013 08:43

She has been drawing on her arms/hands recently - last week she drew what looked like big spots and her skin came up in hives and looked v red and sore. Initially she denied all knowledge of drawing on herself but then confessed. we talked about it and why she should use her homework diary instead. Then today she came down for school having drawn on her hand. I asked her twice what it was, she stropped, said she hadn't drawn anything. Turns out it was a daisy. WTF? I told her she was stupid (I know, bad parenting, but I will not have her lying to me - especially about something like that!) and she went off to school in tears. Argh. How to deal with it better in future? And why is she suddenly drawing on herself??

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ErrolTheDragon · 17/10/2013 08:52

I don't think its uncommon for kids to draw on themselves - mine does sometimes and she's 14. It doesn't really bother me... of course its different in your case if your DD reacts badly to the ink. And you did have to pull her up for stropping and denying what was clearly there.

I'd try not to stress about the drawing itself, but tell her to avoid anything which irritates her skin.

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Bluecarrot · 17/10/2013 09:13

My dd draws on herself too ( 10) its only a big deal to me if its on her face. Obv having a ski reaction is worrying!

Have you tried asking her if she can think of good alternatives? Is she artistic generally? Any old plain tshirt a she can draw on? Have her lie down on a strip of lining paper ( that plain wallpaper) and draw around her. Then she can draw all over her (paper) body.

Lying is prob the biggest issue and dd and I are struggling with this too. When you are in the middle if it it seems like a huge deal and you get cross, then they don't tell you about, or they deny small transgressions because they know they will be in HUGE trouble. So what happens if they mess up with something big?! Where do you go from there? Under recommendation of others on here I'm reading how to talk so kids will listen. Only a week or two in and the number of arguments has dropped significantly. We chat more, and she is admitting she has messed up ( she struggles to accept blame) and she talks through logical consequences to her actions without me having to tell her.

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Queen0fFlamingEverything · 17/10/2013 09:21

They just do draw on themselves. My 10yo does it, though less so than this time last year.

I hate it but I used to do it so I try and ignore it. They do grow out of it and it doesn't really matter, in the grand scheme of things.

If she's reacting badly to the ink then I would think that she'll make the connection herself soon enough and stop doing it. Preteen children are among the doziest creatures in existence Hmm so it might be a while before she really grasps that its not sensible. In the meantime could you maybe equip her with some wipes and anti-histamine cream so that if she does it and then it starts to react, she can remove it fast?

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Takver · 17/10/2013 14:05

Could you get her some face paints so she can draw on herself with something harmless? DD had a craze for drawing celtic patterns a few months back - persuaded her to spend some of her money on a small facepaint kit & she had great fun with it over the summer painting herself + friends.

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