out of control 11 year old

[jellybelly83]

hi everyone im lisa and im new here :) really need advice if someone can help, ever since dd has started year 7 shes became out of control i mean she had a 15 year old bf behind my back, stealing money from my purse and make up, lying about almost everything, ignoring me 24/7 and shes full of attitude. We got the police involved about the 15yr, i really dont know what to do with her i almost lost it with her today every punishment i have tried dont appear to be working, ive tried grounding her, taking away privileges (x box, pocket money ect) even grounding her to her room but it doesnt seem to sink in. i really dont know what to do with her anymore i just cant cope.
thanks for reading

[3b1g]

I'm sorry to hear you're having a tough time with her at the moment. If the change seems to coincide with her starting secondary, do you think it's the company she is keeping? Or is there something else going on at school that is causing her stress and maybe the behaviour is a cry for help? I don't have any advice to offer, but hope you can keep the lines of communication open.

[PiaHall]

Hi. Have you tried sitting her down and calmly talking to her about why her behaviour has changed so much?? I think so often we get so uptight about what they are doing and all they really want is some time with you. I have a 12 year old in year 8 and her behaviour is not great at the moment. Occassionally there is a glimmer of the old DD when I sit down and spend some time with her just the two of us.

Failing that, have you tried taking her phone off her? My DD's head nearly explodes when I do that and it's amazing how much more co-operative she becomes

May be worth talking to the school to see how she is behaving there and if they have any advice.

Hope this helps.

[madbengal]

My DD started getting more bolshi, answering back massive strops also this started in Primary 7, we sat her down on 1st for a family meeting and decided that shouting wasnt working (apart from getting me a headache and high bloodpressure) So we told her calmly what we expected from her at 11 and what we would be doing everytime she was disrespectful she does have a phone or facebook and we have agreed that she is too immature for them

Been different lets just say and the old way of time outs in the hall way for 11 mins WORK first time she was there for 23 mins mind you as she wouldnt stop shouting at us

[madbengal]

ok time outs have stopped working she went to hit her dad today with her hairbrush GAH time to rethink again