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Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

Preteens

First bra

7 replies

RollerCola · 12/10/2012 20:18

Dd is 10 and a half and her breasts are starting to develop. She has some cropped vest tops but isn't keen on wearing them and doesn't want me to buy her a bra yet.

At what point do they need some support? They aren't really properly formed yet but there is definitely some breast tissue. Is she ok to go without for a while longer or should I be encouraging her to wear some support. She says that none of her friends are wearing bras or even cropped tops yet so she doesn't want to stand out.

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ripsishere · 13/10/2012 03:07

IMO, and it is just MO, once they start 'pointing' is the time to start wearing something.
My 11.6 DD has a whole selection of crop tops, first bras, pull over your head things. She is complaining that they are sore so will wear a bra three days a week but on Tuesday and Fridays, she won't.
Those are the days she has PE and people will see them.
I think you need to be guided by her on this issue.

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nooka · 13/10/2012 03:20

I'm an A cup and I don't wear a bra. I find them uncomfortable and I don't think they are necessary unless you feel uncomfortable without. My dd is 12 and wanted to wear a bra mostly because she felt uncomfortable with her nipples showing through her t-shirts. I was surprised how little choice there was, all the teen type bras I found were padded and even the smallest was really too large. She liked the patterns though :)

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BloooCowWonders · 13/10/2012 07:44

Just like Rip - we're in a mix'n'match phase here. But also the strappy t-shirts with support are a good in between phase for weekends.

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Dancergirl · 13/10/2012 11:50

nooka I felt the same as you re padded bras. I looked in John Lewis on my own first before taking dd. Most of heir first bras were moulded rather than padded. In the end I got some plain white bras from the Angel range at M and S which are also moulded but they fit her well, give a bit of support and don't really look like a padded bra.

OP, my dd was like yours, started developing at 10 or so. She wore crop tops for a good year or so and now in year 7 has recently said she needs a proper bra as it was uncomfortable to run. Is your dd in year 6? I'd be v surprised if at least some of the girls weren't wearing crop tops. Maybe your dd just hasn't noticed?

If she doesn't want a bra yet, try and encourage her to wear a crop top or a bit of support. M and S ones are good.

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RollerCola · 13/10/2012 12:36

Yes she's in Yr6. She doesn't like to wear anything because she's embarrassed, and tbh I've not noticed any of her friends wearing them either so it's not really the norm yet.

I'm happy to let her do what she wants but I'm just not sure if I should be encouraging her to wear something a) for support and b) for modesty (although she doesn't seem at all bothered, so maybe it's for my own modesty)

When I was in Yr6 (maybe Yr5 even) we all wore bras like some kind of fashion craze and I certainly didn't develop that early at all. Perhaps once 'everyone' starts wearing them she'll change her mind.

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nooka · 13/10/2012 16:53

I really don't think that support is an issue if she has like dd 'poached eggs' (dd and her friends classify their breasts on a regular basis). I suspect that she will be happy to wear bras when more of her friends do, and that will happen relatively soon (and will have nothing to do with need either).

I'd get her a range of tops/first bras that you think might look nice so she has them if she wants to wear them and leave it at that. Coming into winter nipples showing shouldn't be an issue for a while, and by next summer she may feel very differently.

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ripsishere · 14/10/2012 00:52

DD doesn't need support, but she isn't keen on her 'pointy corkers' Hmm showing through her school t.shirts.
No idea where she came up with the name for them. I've got saggy corkers.

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