Long story this one, so I'll do what I can to paraphrase.
1987 - Sister married and moved abroad, she & her hubby went on to have six children
2007 - 19 year old nephew killed in a car crash (niece was six at the time)
2011 - 51 year old husband died suddenly (niece is now ten). The family now consist of five kids and four grand children.
My niece, I'll call her Moni has always (like the rest of her siblings) been allowed to rule the roost, there has been little discipline and the children have always had to fend for themselves, making them fiercely independent.
When my brother in law died my parents went to my sister, and my mum shared with me that Moni's behaviour has really deteriorated to the point that she is practically uncontrolable. Little wonder when you think of the sadness she has encontered in her young life. The nearest sibling is a boy who is seven years older than her, and the sister to her nearest in age is nine years older and married with family. The grand children are aged between a few months to six years, therefore she is bang in the middle and doesn't know how to behave. My mum sat and chatted with her, and exlained to her that shee needs to be the big sister to the little children, and quite saddly she replied 'but I don't know how to be'.
I haven't been well and so haven't been to see my sister but am going out next week. I've found a great book on Amazon called Always and Forever, which I think will help the younger children, but am stumped as to what to take Moni - there must be a book that will help a lost soul, that I can read with her. There are books about growing up, but that's not quite what I have in mind.
My sister is right at the sharp end and has to deal with Moni's behaviour and I don't think she can right now, so I would dearly love to be able to do something that will help give them both some direction.
Any thoughts - would be so grateful to you :)
Loo xxx
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Preteens
Bad behaviour, bereavment & being the big sister
5 replies
Loolamadcat · 17/03/2012 16:30
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