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Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

Preteens

Confidence

3 replies

Tecstar · 07/06/2011 11:43

Hi all, I am hoping for some guidance here. My son is 11 and is shy in some situtations. He really wants to sing but cant get past his shyness. I have tried discussing ways round it but he finds it difficult. I am talking to him about singing classes and groups, but I know he will worry about it if I just sign him up and try to get him there, to the point that he will absoulutely wont go on the day. What is difficult is that he wants to do it, but is letting his shyness get in the way.

Can anyone offer any advice, and are there any classes/clubs/groups that cater for children who are not confident smiling performers and who do just singing, without the drama added on???

Thanks in advance.

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TheRhubarb · 07/06/2011 11:53

Is he a good singer though?
This isn't about singing per se but his confidence. If you can work on his confidence then singing in public won't be so nerve wracking for him. My dd is very shy and refuses to sing even in front of us!

I would sign him up for drama classes. Drama teaches kids how to be confident. I often tell my dd that she may be shy but she needs to act confident. The ability to act will help in most social situations and is one of those skills that stays with you for a lifetime.

This isn't about him taking the main lead in a drama production and if he's a little shy they wouldn't ask him too. It's about teaching him how to act confident so that he is able to sing in public. Many dramas feature singing roles, either as a solo or with a choir. Perhaps if he went with a choir first then as his confidence grows he can do solo pieces?

I think every child should be given the opportunity to do drama as it really is useful for raising your confidence.

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snailoon · 07/06/2011 11:52

What about joining a children's choir. No acting, and he is part of a group, so no cause for nervousness as no one will hear him individually (at least not at first). People think of singing as "show business" because that is the popular music image-- lots of glamour and showing off. Has he ever heard a good boy's choir? Think Vienna Choirboys or any of the English cathedral choirs. You don't have to be at all religious to be blown away by what they do.

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zandy · 07/06/2011 11:48

You could arrange for him to go to a singing club/class as a spectator, just to see what happens. Tell him he isn't expected to join in, just sit and watch and listen. That will get him through the door for the first time, which is probably the hardest bit of all. If the club leader is aware of his shyness, he can tailor what he says to him in order to encourage rather than overwhelm him.

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