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Pregnancy choices

Pregnancy choices medical abortion 12 weeks

19 replies

Starbright1210 · 24/09/2021 21:19

Can anyone tell me about there experience with a 12 week medical abortion?
I got the pills weeks ago to take at home at 5 weeks then booked 3 times for hospital as was unable to take at home. I went last week I wanted to go ahead but nurse talked me into doing at home again came home and didn't do it. I almost had a breakdown for weeks over being in the situation I'm early 40s partner is late 40's . I started a new job with a really intensive 1 year uni course this week . I can't believe I've left it this late it is against my ethical standards . It is horrible to feel this way I just can't accept the pregnancy feel in denial, I've left a really good job to move into my dream job i don't know how I will manage the job uni assignments etc if I continue and going back to the baby stage etc I have 1 child in primary school , numerous reasons that I probably feel this way.
i have medical booked again for next week but will be about 12 weeks. No option of surgery due to covid and the area I live. I am in a terrible mess with it all

OP posts:
Starbright1210 · 25/09/2021 10:08


OP posts:
ED81 · 25/09/2021 17:28

Sorry to hear your situation. How incredibly stressful.
I’ve had a medial termination at 8 weeks so you are slightly further on. I did it at home.
To my knowledge I think 12 weeks is the top weeks range for a medical. I could be wrong though….

Who is proving the service? Please get back in contact with them ASAP to discuss options.
Thinking of you as I know how incredibly tough this is.xx

Heartsinflowers · 25/09/2021 17:32

Hi, you sound in a really bad place , have you not been offered some counseling? When you said unable to take them at home do you mean the procedure or you were unsure you want to terminate? I think at your stage a surgical abortion is probably needed now although I’m no expert. Just wishing you some support and I hope it goes smoothly for you x

Noseylittlemoo · 25/09/2021 17:42

I can empathise with you I had a medical termination 5 years ago around 9-10 weeks. I stressed out as I had to wait so long fornthe initial appointment due to Easter Bank Holiday and then going on holiday. After the 2nd tablet I panicked as I was sick but I called the help line and they said it should be OK. It happened a few hours later, I didn't feel pain and the next day I felt a lot of relief and calmness. I was in my late 30s. I felt quite tearful about it often for about a year but I know I made the right decision.

Peppermint81 · 25/09/2021 18:16

Are you sure you want to do it?
Maybe you should follow your instincts.
I'm sure you would cope if you didn't do it , do you have family/friends near by to help out/support? Newborn baby stage is over quickly you have another 20 years of career!

Starbright1210 · 25/09/2021 19:46

Hi Thank you for the responses
Yes I collected the pills at 5 weeks to take at home but then I started to question it if I was doing the right thing I wasn't sure I felt terrible about terminating and was unable to take the tablets . I guess I was 70 percent that termination was the right thing but for 5 weeks I then became unwell mentally I was so down, panic attacks, crying couldn't get out of bed etc .I booked to go to hospital for medical 3 times but still wasn't sure.
I spoke to a Councillor twice in that time.
I was also worried about effects of the treatment.
This is why I'm now later on but I have now realised Its right that I don't continue my wee boy who is 5 still does not sleep , I'm pretty sure I had pnd after him I found it really difficult.
My mum has said she won't be able to help if I have another due to her Health. My partnt is great but with me stating the post graduate diploma snd new job the studying etc I feel it would be really unfair on him and my wee boy and I risk not being able to complete it as Iits full time plus all the studying at nights and weekends.
Unfortunately where I live surgical is not an option due to surgery being suspended due to covid.
I have went through so many emotions etc over the past weeks and I feel awful still that I let it get to this stage and something I never thought I would do. I am really worried about going trough the medical and how traumatising it might be at this stage. I think I had a breakdown for 5 weeks and wasn't able to deal with it or process it properly this has been 1 if the worst times in my life.

OP posts:
Starbright1210 · 25/09/2021 19:55

I have left a really good job in a specialist area in the NHS to do this new job in the nhs which involves 1 year of training placement and uni then move straight into the job. So I don't really have an option with the job situation. I worked so hard to get my last role and this was a big risk to move.
Ultimately I feel my mental health is really poor I feel no connection to the pregnancy i am worried if I continued I will end up really ill with prenatal depression or pnd and be unable to look after my self, wee boy or baby but I feel terrible to getting to this stage, ive felt awful the whole time. It's so distessing to feel this way.

OP posts:
ED81 · 25/09/2021 20:34

I suppose nobody had the answers to this, apart from you.
I fully sympathise with your situation. If surgical termination isn’t an option in your area, could you travel? It will eventually get to the stage that medical isn’t an option.xx

Starbright1210 · 25/09/2021 20:53

Hi, I called bpas and asked to pay privately because I'm not covered by NHS because the local clinic here desks with it jntil later stages but as I say it's inly medical. Which is offered up to 16 weeks here, but the 1st appt for a tel consultation. wasn't until 11th October .
I am willing to travel and pay private but I have put in a few enquires to spire hospital and another 1, finding it difficult to find a private one online, bpas etc are all to long a wait .

OP posts:
ED81 · 25/09/2021 21:08

I’m sorry this is proving so difficult for you.
Sounds like medical is the option for you if you decide to definitely go through with the procedure.
See where you get with private clinics over the next fews days and take it from there.xx

underneaththeash · 25/09/2021 21:13

You need to write a list of pros and cons and decide which is best for you asap.
A 12 week foetus is still not a viable human - so what ever you decide is fine - but you need to do it quickly.

Starbright1210 · 26/09/2021 13:33

Thank you.

OP posts:
ED81 · 26/09/2021 22:19

Sending you a hug this evening.x

Starbright1210 · 27/09/2021 23:02

Thank you , I heard back from some private clinics but some of the wait times are still quite long for the stage I sm at.
I had a really tough day today but decided to take the 1st tablet after weeks if trying I sat for 7 hours and eventually took it. I feel if I didn't I would never get out of the mental torture .

OP posts:
Mischance · 27/09/2021 23:10

If you had been secure in your decision you would have taken the medication that you were given. I think your heart is trying to tell you something. We cannot always be ruled by our heads.

Mischance · 27/09/2021 23:12

Sorry - we crossed posts.

You have made a decision and hopefully this will help you to have some peace of mind now.

Lemonadee · 06/10/2021 08:02

@Starbright1210 hi, just reading your posts and I hope you are doing okay and have all the support you need

oreo2020 · 07/10/2021 18:56

@Starbright1210 I hope you are ok. Let us know how you are feeling

Strawberry33 · 21/03/2022 15:35

Please do not take the pills that were prescribed at 5 weeks at 12 weeks- I think that you are beyond the cut off and passing a 12 week at home will be very different to a five week one. You should really get advice from the clinic. So sorry you are going through this xxx

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