Three year old refusing

[ilovepinkjelly]

I really am at my wits end with potty training :(

We've had a lot of failed attempts and now everyone is stressed and I feel like a shit mum. He's three next month and pretty bright I think - good understanding and vocabulary. When I tell people he isn't potty trained I get raised eyebrows as if I am being lazy. But I've tried bloody everything!!

Today he has had about ten wee accidents and one poo accident. He never says he needs the toilet and he never manages to wee on the toilet. He cries until I let him wear trousers, and then as soon as the trousers are on, wees in them. If I say he needs to sit on the toilet after he does this, he cries hysterically. He doesn't seem bothered if his trousers are wet or have poo in them. He totally understands about using the toilet, tells me all the people who use the toilet and loves playing putting toilet roll down there etc. I get that potty training isn't easy but I started trying with some gentle training when my little one was two months old and she's now ten months...

Any ideas?! I think it would be easier if he would go bare bottomed for a while but he's absolutely hysterical if not wearing a pair of trousers! He's been through so many today, my washing machine can't keep up!

[ilovepinkjelly]

Oh my goodness you sound just like me and my son - we are both so stubborn too! Will give it a bit longer then I will try your method definitely.

[gingerninja99]

My son didn't potty train until 3.5, I was so stressed out over every attempt, in the end we went completely cold turkey, I told him we ran out of nappies and the shops didn't have any. We had to go completely without including night time and just let him wet himself. Made no fuss when it happened, got him washed and changed and away we went again. It took him about a week to start saying he needed to go and a few more weeks to crack the day time.
It was hard work and he was wet through the night every night for 2 years after but I could be just as stubborn as him, I just couldn't back down and buy nappies for night time as I knew he would refuse to use the toilet during the day if I did

I decided that washing constantly and going through water proof mattress protectors was easier to deal with than the war or wills

[ilovepinkjelly]

Thank you so much. I will - to be fair his nursery is as chilled as you guys are.

I'm not a relaxed parent, I suspect the person judging me the most is me. I totally put that on my little boy today and he's gone to bed upset. Not what I want at all so I will take all of your lovely advice, take a deep breath and give it a bit more time.

Thanks x

[BananaPB]

Not unusual at all for a just 3 year old not to be potty trained so relax.

Are the people judging your parents generation? They trained earlier because they didn't have disposables so the washing of clothes nappies was a faff.

[Thesearmsofmine]

at all*

[Thesearmsofmine]

Two of mine weren’t interested day all until they were gone 3. Back off for now and try again in a month or 2.
I am confused by the end part, are you saying that you have been training him since 2 months or is that a younger sibling???

[LakeShoreD]

He’s still young, you could just say he’s not ready yet and try again in a couple of months. 3 is about average to train these days isn’t it? I wouldn’t consider you lazy or a bad mum - what on earth has given you that idea? But we persisted with our rather stubborn DD at that age and I’m slightly ashamed to admit that success came only with bribery- initially a skittle for every toilet try without a fuss and a second one if something happened. If going out in the early stages we did baggy joggers- I think the theory is to avoid anything tight that could feel like a nappy.

[ilovepinkjelly]

Just read that back and it's totally confusing! He's almost three, not ten months old!!!