Help - is he ready?!
MrsKyloRen · 07/07/2018 19:41
Decided to try potty training this weekend with DS as he is coming up for three. Started after breakfast, He was quite happy with his big boy pants and liked wearing them. Has sat on the potty twice with our encouragement and “squeezed” one of those times, although didn’t actually produce anything! He has had two big wees on the floor and one in the bath, one poo this morning when he was still in his nappy before we took him out of it (just up). Wouldn’t sit on the potty or toilet again despite encouragement and got a bit upset when I asked if he wanted to go later in the day. Didn’t tell me any of the times when he had a wee. Is he ready? Should we stop and try again another time? Thanks for any advice, have no idea what I’m doing or what’s normal, and I’m a bit of an anxious mum.
OhHolyJesus · 08/07/2018 22:25
Honestly OP, I had major anxiety about leaving the house for months and took sets of spare clothes everywhere (even socks and shoes) and then I tied myself in knots thinking I would pass on my anxiety and none of this has affected him.
Once we were in the park and he wet himself as he told me too late and I hadn't watched him for signs. He went a bit quiet afterwards and I thought I'd fucked up but I had a word with myself, when to the same spot the next day, prompted him with the wee cup and talked lots about how if there's no toilet we can make allowances. No problem.
I was so stressed throughout and it taught me to just relax a bit and I think my parenting approach is better since. I trust him to tell me and can cope well if there is an accident. I felt I'd be judged by others for 'forcing' it on him when he was so young but I'm so glad I trusted my instincts.
The other day I had to answer the door but had just taken his pants off came back to a wee in the potty and he was playing with his pants back on. I was so proud!
MrsKyloRen · 08/07/2018 19:06
I really appreciate the replies, thanks everyone! My sister-in-law was like you OhHolyJesus, she went for it ages ago and it seems to have gone fine, I think I’m just a bit over cautious and don’t want to put my anxiety onto DS!
Thanks Littledinaco, you are right that when they are at school it won’t matter when they potty trained, I just need to chill and do it when he’s ready!
We went back to nappies today, but both times he had a poo he came over to me and stood by me doing it, so it does seem to have triggered a noticing of what’s going on. Fingers crossed for next time! X
littledinaco · 08/07/2018 13:27
Yes, when they want to do it as well as being able to recognise that they need to go, it’s sooooo much easier! You know him best, don’t let other people pressure you. Once they are all say 5/6 it really won’t matter who trained at under 2 and who were over 3.
Also, the older they are the more able they are to be able to dress/undress and get on and off the toilet too so they can just take themselves.
Other people find the training method works for them though and the accidents/changing clothes/reminding them etc doesn’t bother them so do what works best for you. I chose to wait until they were completely ready but it did mean I could go out and about literally the same day without worrying about accidents (I did take spare clothes at first just incase but they were never needed).
OhHolyJesus · 08/07/2018 12:51
Just to say OP for the book - it's big on "is he/she capable?" rather than ready and for me, as a mental approach it really helped me get over a block we had on day 3.
Disclaimer/mini brag: DS was 20 months and some said I was rushing/pushing too early. It took 4 days and he's mostly dry at night now at 2.5 yo. I knew he was capable as he was showing signs and I was so proud of his first poo on the potty it was like a graduation or something! There were moments when I was over prompting and he was pushing his boundaries with me but we did it and I did feel so bonded to him during the process.
Hold your nerve and good luck!
MrsKyloRen · 08/07/2018 10:56
Brilliant thank you both, I will get it for my kindle and read it before our next shot! Thanks for the support!
OhHolyJesus · 08/07/2018 09:45
Another OH Crap follower.
Ditch nappies and pull ups and no pants on until he's happier on the potty.
Two other friends followed this method after I potty trained with success - I'm a real believer in it, even if the over enthusiastic tone of the writer can be a bit jarring at times!
Nan0second · 08/07/2018 09:42
Read oh crap potty training before your next try. It will really help you!
MrsKyloRen · 08/07/2018 09:41
Aaaah bloody predictive text - that should be “that was the main thing yesterday”!
MrsKyloRen · 08/07/2018 09:40
I think that was a brilliant g thing yesterday littledinaco, it didn’t feel like he wanted to, or like he knew when he needed to go. There’s so much pressure from grandparents to do it, but I think we need to resist until DS is ready! Thanks so much for your advice!
littledinaco · 08/07/2018 08:56
I find when they are able to wee on demand every time (even if it’s just a small amount). I used to sit mine on toilet every night before the bath and tell you that they have done a wee are good signs they are ready.
I also waited until mine were able to recognise they needed the toilet and hold it in a short while to get there. I know not everyone likes this approach and some like to do ‘training’ taking them the toilet every so often, bare bottom, reminding them etc but I did have no accidents, never had to carry a potty/loads of spare clothes round, didn’t have to constantly ask ‘do you need a wee’ etc. I think if they are properly ready you won’t even need a weekend, they just do it. Them wanting to do it as well as being physically ready makes a big difference too.
MrsKyloRen · 08/07/2018 08:46
Thanks very much Bee, we are going to have another go when we all have a few days off together next month. Trying to do it over a weekend just feels like there isn’t enough time to get to grips with it!! We will definitely try bare bottom next time, thank you! X
BeeMyBaby · 08/07/2018 08:09
Try with a bare bottom and you are likely to have much more success. It's difficult for them to remember they are not wearing a nappy if they are wearing pants. If he's getting annoyed with being constantly reminded then stop. Once he gets used the to feeling of a full bladder resulting in a wee he should start taking himself (if the potty is nearby) which may take around 2 days at which point the accidents will dramatically decrease.
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