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Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

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Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

Potty training

Help please!!!!!

32 replies

BlankSpace1 · 02/08/2017 10:05

My daughter is 2 years and 7 months.
We did try potty training before, but she just had a total fit as soon as you got her on It, so we decided she wasn't ready and left it for a while.
So here I am trying again, we had the same problem but we managed to get her sitting on potty for quite a while with a chocolate button for a reward.(this was to get started and she gets them if she does a wee now)
I've been now having her in pants and then trying to get her to sit on potty but she just cries and has a fit. She has pee'd in her pants and told me she did it, so I put her on potty but she just cries, I tried to 're assure her that it's okay she had an accident and that she just had to try to potty. She doesn't talk very much other than basic words so I can't have a proper talk to her but I do explain as best I can.
I honestly feel like it's never going to happen!
She is ready, I googled it and she shows all the signs of being ready, anyone else have any advice?

OP posts:

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TittyGolightly · 02/08/2017 21:15

No amount of bribery seems to work.

That's good. extrinsic motivation might fix something short term but it can have dramatic impact later on. (Lots of research into reward centres in the brain. Stickers may seem harmless but it does the same thing in the brain as heroin in addicts. )

Scrumptiousbears · 02/08/2017 20:46

I'm with you OP. My DD who is just 3 gets so frustrated when she sits on the potty and nothing happens she also throws a fit and refuses to try again. No amount of bribery seems to work. I really wanted her out of nappies before nursery but I really don't think I can do it.

BlankSpace1 · 02/08/2017 20:39

I was thinking to get a story that was around potty Training, that way even if we don't do it for a while longer it's all familiarizing her for when the time comes.
I'd like to get her to pick some nice pants too!

And I do have stickers that I got ready for this and thought of a chart too, so I will probably try and introduce that too, I like the collecting them and getting a treat st the end idea! Thanks :)

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pinkblink · 02/08/2017 19:47

Found it more effective than a sweet and lots of praise like we did with our 5 year old, as the chart meant he had a physical reminder of his achievements and could see how close he was to a treat

pinkblink · 02/08/2017 19:45

We just potty trained our 2yr old, with a sticker chart, drew 7 boxes on a sheet, coloured/drew on it together and put it low on the fridge, a wee on the potty a day for a sticker, end of the week he picked a treat, then changed to a sticker for days all his wees went on the potty, we have been really lucky he really took to collecting stickers

Zebrasinpyjamas · 02/08/2017 19:31

You've definitely not done anything wrong imo. My ds was very interested in picking his own pants in the shop too (although now I get tantrums when his favourite pair is dirty ) so that helps build their interest. Also we read the book pirate pete's potty a lot. It all got him used to the idea.

BlankSpace1 · 02/08/2017 16:52

Training, but I will read learning also. Thank you

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TittyGolightly · 02/08/2017 16:44

Did you google potty training or potty learning? There's a difference. What sites did you read?

BlankSpace1 · 02/08/2017 16:34

Doodlecat I agree, I'm going to lay off and try again with the new approach that HV advised later down the line.
It seems trying later has made it easier for a lot of people :)

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DoodleCat · 02/08/2017 16:27

Please don't worry. My son went straight from nappies to the big toilet by himself one day on holiday at 3.5 years. My 2.5 year old daughter likes to dabble with a potty now and then but refuses a toilet. No rush, let them do what they want to do i reckon..

BlankSpace1 · 02/08/2017 16:21

I agree, I think I did do too much of the 'do you want a pee' but I never pushed and when she had an accident gave her a hug and told her it was okay.
I spoke to my HV today and she said to leave nappy off, and if she does an accident just clean it up without saying much other than don't worry, then she will get used to feeling when she needs to go and may pay her own interest in the potty so i will try that.
But I really don't think I have done anything wrong in trying, some people are just very judgy!

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ZuzaPa · 02/08/2017 15:53

For me I see a small jelly as a reward rather than a bribe, that will quickly phase out when she's got the hang of it & if its not working out we'll go back a few steps.

ZuzaPa · 02/08/2017 15:48

I dont agree with doing anything negative or shaming, like lengthy no talk punishment change sessions if she wets herself. Accidents are a huge part of the process. Id be trying to make sure she didn't feel in any way negative about wetting herself. I say 'no big deal, we'll just get changed'. My lo is just 3. Have been leaving her bottoms off just at home when I can & when she will have it for about 3 months & she just started using it herself, always gave mega praise &-made a huge deal but never pushed for more. At the weekend she just started telling me every time she was going in her nappy, so decided to give a go & have had 2.5 full days of no nappy, & been each day to playground & softplay. Plus every time she goes I tell her what a big girl she is, big fuss & give a jelly!

I think go a bit more slowly & never bring any shaming into it, I think that's very damaging. For her entire life she's worn a nappy & never had to think about it, its a massive learning experience.

BlankSpace1 · 02/08/2017 15:12

Pretty sure I said I googled it..
Pretty sure I said I didn't want to give her issues, because I had issues..
Pretty sure I said we've tried for a short amount of time, and haven't been stressing anyone out.. I don't know if I don't try.
You seem to be ignoring what I'm saying and just not being very nice

OP posts:

Zebrasinpyjamas · 02/08/2017 14:24

Let's face it dealing with potties of wee/poo is not the glamorous bit of parenting Good luck @blankspace1

TittyGolightly · 02/08/2017 13:09

Age isn't not a valid measure and can cause significant psychological issues.

TittyGolightly · 02/08/2017 13:08

I disagree. Using the potty is something they will become ready for naturally. It doesn't have to be artificially taught. If you're having to coerce and bribe and they aren't understanding the simple explanations then they aren't ready!

You've decided she should be because of her age. She's clearly not ready and you're just stressing everyone out.

As I say, google potty learning.

BlankSpace1 · 02/08/2017 12:56

Your comments were helpful! I'm taking them all on board.

And tittygolighty you're being very opinionated and not very helpful. I am not making a big deal out of anything to her.. and so someone can't be at an age to try? Kids learn to crawl naturally. Potty training has to he taught, and although you follow other signs too, age is a perfectly okay reason to give it a try.

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TittyGolightly · 02/08/2017 12:26

she is at the age where it is right for her to learn.

Age has nothing to do with it. Just like crawling, walking, talking they're ready when they're ready.

One thing is for sure though, you're likely to cause more problems by making such a big deal of it than you solve by getting her trained.

(Google "potty learning" if you want to know more).

Zebrasinpyjamas · 02/08/2017 12:21

I'm sorry if you thought my comments were unhelpful. They genuinely weren't meant to be.
With my ds I was getting stressed as he wasn't showing any signs of doing it (and all of his friends were in pants for months before him). He literally decided overnight he was interested and didn't have any accidents from then on. It was actually easy in the end. The two or three earlier attempts were horrible and upset him so I wish I'd known in advance that what I thought was 'ready' wasn't quite right.

BlankSpace1 · 02/08/2017 10:29

From the sounds of it maybe I should stop for now and try again later. I just didn't want her to fall behind or anything. I wasn't potty trained for ages and always had accidents in school due to trauma, and though school is far away I just didn't want her to feel embarrassed or upset later on.
I've just read baby centre though and it seems she won't be behind if we wait so I'll try again in a couple of months or so. I just want the best for her

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Cupcakegirl13 · 02/08/2017 10:27

I've recently tried with my 2.8 yr old DD and she just wasn't interested. Waited until 3 with my DS and it was much easier. Maybe either just take a very relaxed approach of if she gets it she gets it if she dosnt hey ho or just stop for now and try again in a few months. She will get there soon .

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BlankSpace1 · 02/08/2017 10:23

Green tulips wrong one! Sorry

OP posts:

BlankSpace1 · 02/08/2017 10:23

Green tulips you aren't saying anything productive either.

OP posts:

GreenTulips · 02/08/2017 10:21

It's going to be a breeze are 3 - most kids are dry at 2 -

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