sudden refusal of toilet - what to do?

[dodi1978]

My DS, 3 1/2, has essentially been potty / toilet trained since last summer / autumn. Was fairly reliable for wees in the summer and finally cracked the poos in the autumn, at about 3 years 2 months. For a few months now, he mostly did his daily poo on the toilet either in the morning or the evening. So they were quite 'scheduled'. When he missed one, we would ask him to go to the toilet and "do a squeeze" - which mostly was successful.

He wasn't entirely independent yet in the sense that we kept on telling him to go to the toilet, even for wees. Every now and then he would go by himself at home; at nursery he was much more independent. Now, for a week or two, he has thrown real tantrums about going to the toilet. In particular in the morning before nursery, it is usually a 15 minute refusal before he goes. He is also starting to refuse poos. He has had a few more accidents again as well.

I am starting to think that the solution to this is to "let go". Not to constantly tell him to go to the toilet, but to make it entirely his responsibility. Maybe remind him every hour, but otherwise not force him. I think a big part of this sudden refusal is being told to go!

What do you guys think? Any experiences with this?

Linked to this is night training. His night pull-up is sometimes dry in the morning, sometimes wet - but I think he does his wee in the pull up during breakfast (and consequently then doesn't want to go to the loo). I think he is ready for night-training... would you agree?

I am hoping that, if he wears underwear at night, there will be more of an urgency in the morning to go to the toilet because he hasn't got a pull up to conveniently go in in the morning.

I am just really worried about getting this right... I really don't want a big regression! He was doing so well for months....