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34

Psychobabble · 15/11/2005 15:07

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doormat · 15/11/2005 15:10

To teach the godchild values,advice and generally guide them through there life.

It used to be if something happened to parents godparents would take over from parents but I think in this modern day is doesnt happen much unfortunately.

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Psychobabble · 15/11/2005 19:28

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Tommy · 15/11/2005 22:45

our children's god parents are there as additional adults in the DSs' lives that hopefully they can call on when they need to and can't/won't talk to us. We deliberately didn't choose family members as we thought it would be good to have people other than aunties, uncles etc.
On a practical note, DS1's godmother helps me look after them and entertain them at church (DH doesn't come with us)and all god parents have done plenty of babysitting!

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notasheep · 15/11/2005 22:59

To look after your children should you die young,sadly my daughter has already lost a godmother,she died at 43yrs

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Dior · 15/11/2005 23:13

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polly28 · 15/11/2005 23:46

I am a godparent to my friends dd who is now 13.When I took on the role I felt really hypocritical because I am not religious at all.I do not support her spiritually at all,she lives 200 miles away.I have seen her once in the laxt 2 years.

All I do is send nice birthday and xmas gifts.can't see the point if you're not religious and never see the child.I personally think it's an outdated tradition.We have chosen not to christen the children...goodness knows I felt hypocritical enough getting married in achurch just to please the parents!

Hope i haven't offended you,just my personal opinion

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Psychobabble · 16/11/2005 10:13

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Psychobabble · 16/11/2005 10:13

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LilacBump · 16/11/2005 10:21

what doormat said is spot on.
(in belgium) traditionally the godmother would be the mother's mother. and the godfather the father's father. but i have my uncle and mum's mum as godparents. also, i have a first name, two middle names and then a last name. the two middle names are my godmother and godfather's first names.

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Psychobabble · 16/11/2005 10:33

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Marina · 16/11/2005 10:40

We're godparents and we see it as being an "extra" parent to the child in terms of taking an additional loving interest (ours live far away now so this means e-mails, a special small extra present at Christmas and on birthdays - usually a nice, enjoyable book with a Christian or spiritual dimension). We also send a little message on the anniversary of the baptism so that the child knows we are thinking of them.
As they get older I hope and aim to be a trusted adult pal to my godchildren.
As it happens our children's godparents are our chosen guardians, because they are close friends of ours with children the same age, but that was arranged by will and totally separately. We have other godparents who aren't guardians and are not guardians for some of our godchildren.

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Marina · 16/11/2005 10:40

I was adamant about one sister in particular NOT being a godparent for all sorts of reasons psychobabble!

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Tommy · 16/11/2005 10:41

I'm sure no-one assumes thay have to take on the guardian role if the parents died?! Not these days anyway. That's why you make a will. I have 5 god children and try to involve myself in their lives as much as possible - one of them was confirmed last week so obviously I went along to that.
I understand the problem about finding people who are committed to the religious aspect - if we ever get around to conceiving number three I think we would be hard pushed to find another god father!

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Tommy · 16/11/2005 10:42

I also agree with everything Marina said

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Psychobabble · 16/11/2005 16:42

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hockeymum · 17/11/2005 08:14

I didn't choose to have godparents for my dd (3) when she was dedicated at church. It was purely because we couldn't think of anyone who fitted the criteria. We wanted someone who was a committed christian to fulfil the god bit but also a close enough friend who would stay in touch and be that child's special adult (not family)

However, with db2 on the way, we hae now changed our mind. We have chosen 3 old friends to be db2s godparents as we now know they will stay in contact even though we live further away. AND we are choosing 3 friends who live near us with children the same age as DD who have been a fantastic support to us since we got to know them after DD was born 3 years ago to be HER godparents. She has already been dedicated obviously but in the next babies dedication service we will have a little extra bit to acknowledge their new found status as our oldests' godparents. A bit weird I know, but I though DD was missing out not having godparents and my three friends near here are already doing that job for her without knowing it. It's going to be nice to be able to acknowledge them with a job title!

None of the godparents will be guardians, but I know they will keep in touch with the children even if we were to pass away and provide some stability that way.

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katzguk · 17/11/2005 08:22

dd1 has 5 godparents, (2 couples and a then single friend) and dd2 will have 6 (3 couples). we have chosen them for many of the reasons listesd here. To help guide our children in faith, to support them but we've also chosen them to say, you are our family too, welcome.

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mummyhill · 17/11/2005 08:23

It is a popular misconception that the Godparents take the role of parents in the event of the parents death. The godparents role is to help/advise and guide the child along their chosen sprirtual path. Unless you make a will specifically stating who you want to care for your children in the event of your demise social services and the courts step in to see which of your relatives is most suitable and if they judge that none of them are your child may well be placed in care.

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Hazellnut · 17/11/2005 09:30

DD is being christened next week. We chose Godparents who are our friends (as opposed to family, as they have 'special' roles already by being uncles/aunts etc). However, we wanted to make sure that they were friends we thought we would stay in touch with and also that they had some Christian leanings.

I don't really see their role as a religious one and as a godparent myself, I do not see this role as religious (even though I would class myself as 'religious'). More as someone else said that it is as extra important adults in their life who will look out for them in all aspects. At the moment with my gd, who is coming up 3 this has meant special birthday/christmas pressies and taking an interest in important things that have happened - pressies when her baby sister was born, when she went to school. All sounds a bit 'material' when I write it down but its not the present itself, more the making things special for her. I would like to think we would be there for her as she grows up.

Not sure thats entirely clear but I think they key features in choosing our dd's godparents were people who we thought would stay friends with us , take the role seriously and did have some belief.

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Hazellnut · 17/11/2005 09:31

Oh and I wouldn't expect them to take dd in shoudl anything happen to us. That would be a family role which we intend to put in our wills.

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Hazellnut · 17/11/2005 09:32

Although they are the sort of people that would I am sure and that's why we chose them !

Right will stop posting now.

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Molton · 17/11/2005 10:09

I agree with Tommy. Godparents as another responsible adult in the child's life who will always be there for them, but in a different way to a parent. i have 2 godchildren, one as part of a family tradition (Her mum's my Godmother, I was her mum's bridesmaid, I am her godmother, she was my bridesmaid etc.) As I am only 11 years older than her I've never been an adult influence, mainly I try to give good presents at Christmas! a few emails during the year, and hope that she will come to me to talk if she ever needs to. Second is my niece, who I see a lot more of.

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CarlyP · 17/11/2005 11:40

same here really, someone my children can go to if in need etc and for whatever cant/dont want to talk to us. ppl who will guide and be there for them. someone who really knows your children and ultimatley if anything happened to me and my h i would be happy for the boys to go to any of their godparents.

cx

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Elf1981 · 17/11/2005 13:21

Traditionally godparents were there to give the child the spiritual upbringing.
My DD will be Christened in Feb. Her Godfather is not religious. The Godmother is.
Not only can I rely on the Godmother for the traditional aspet of what Godparents do, I also know she can show my DD things that I cannot, such as what wine goes with what food, and how to pronounce the foods on the menu's at fancy restaurants!! My friend is very good in those areas, certainly a lot better than me who choses wine by how pretty the bottle and the labels are!!!

I dont think the whole assume parental responsibilities should anything happen to the parents stands now. My friend (the mother of my two goddaughters) believes it is true, and is quite happy beliving that should antyhing happen to her and her DH the kids would come to me and my DH (their godfather) rather than her MIL who she hates. I keep telling her it isn't true and in those cases she needs to make a will, but she doesn't listen!

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monstersmummy · 17/11/2005 13:34

my ds1's godparents are a combiunation of everybodies thoughts. he has 2 god fathers and 1 godmother(being married to one of the godfathers) the married couple i chose because they were there for me when i was at my lowest and they supported me both spiritually and not. I wanted to say thank you to them and i wanted my ds1 to have people that would look after him....yes if we died. The other god afther is not religious in anyway but we wanted someone who had a gift that they could share with our son and so guide him along in that way(he is musical). Thats how we chose ours. And we would have the same again for ds2 if only we could get around to sorting out a date for the chirstiening lol!!

btw i am not religious but i wanted my chioldren to have support if they did choose ro follow a specific path, and they were cvhristened because if, in the end i was wrong in my dewcision to leave christianity then they would still be saved(or so it goes in my head but tahts for a different thread lol!)

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