what exactly am i supposed to be doing with a four/five month old? please help! feel like im going crazy

[bmlloo]

Dc isn’t particularly difficult I don’t think. They’re my first so I can’t compare.

But what am I supposed to do with them?! We read ten mins in the morning and ten mins at night. Sits on play mat for ten mins in the morning. Watch tv (yep I know…not good). But then they cry and im out of ideas?! I walk round the house and show them things like some crazy woman. Bath time is like a day off as they are fully calm and predictably so.

they half heartedly play with expensive toys for five mins and then Bam! Like right now… sat almost crying but not quite, squirming around, flailing arms, and nothing is actually wrong, they’re fed, they’ve slept.

ive heard this baby bouncer is good when they are old enough but will that be another five minute wonder? Had enough!

[DarkDarkNight]

Are they old enough for a jumperoo? I can’t remember, but my son absolutely loved that.

Also, a playmat with a piano at the end for him to kick was a big hit.

I think walking round the house pointing out things is great, and singing nursery rhymes is great for them. Baby groups and things are probably more for you at that age but there’s nothing wrong with that.

[MooseBreath]

I have a 4.5 month old. He is a relatively easy baby (my older DS was not). I tend to lay him down on the floor with toys around him and he rolls onto his side to look, or onto his tummy to reach and mouth them. He lays in a bouncer and watches me play with his brother. He goes in a jumperoo and thrashes about. He talks/shouts to himself. He sits in a Bumbo and hits dangling toys. He sits on me and we do nursery rhymes or just "chat". He splashes about in the bath. He sits in the corner of the sofa. He lays on his back and chews his own feet. He does watch a bit of TV when his brother is (usually Cocomelon, PJ Masks, or Cars).

The Baby Club on CBeebies is great for ideas (it's on iPlayer).

[Bouledeneige]

Play mats are nice with hanging toys on them. Take them out for walks in the buggie to get fresh air. Do your usual chores with them in a bouncy chair. Find a nice park with a nice cafe. Meet other Mums and gossip.

[MoltenLasagne]

Oh OP, I remember this stage so well. Felt like I was constantly wondering what I could do next.

In the end I discovered he loved sitting in front of the washing machine in his bouncer so made sure to put a wash on each day! That plus getting out meant I was killing a few hours between nap times and finally he got more capable (and less boring!)

[HeadsShouldersKneesAndMyGreatAuntsWalkingStick]

Changes of scene is everything.

As PP said, don't feel like you have to entertain them. They'll learn a lot by watching and just being with you while you carry on with your day.

[mistermagpie]

My easiest baby was my third, I think this was mainly because I had two others to deal with (eldest was only 4 when she was born) so I never really had to think of anything to do with her. She just came along wherever we were going, or got plonked on a baby play mat thingy and watched us going about our business around her. I had to get out multiple times a day for drop off and pick up stuff and there was always something going on, so I never really had to actively try to entertain her.

Obviously you can't borrow another couple of kids, but my point is that it's easier if you don't focus on 'entertaining' a small baby and just kind of get on with your day. Walk to places where you usually would drive, it kills time and gives you lots of things to look at and point out to the baby. I could kill a couple of hours with my first just by going to the supermarket because I didn't have a car, so I would walk 40 minutes each way and just chat to him if he was awake.

[mondaytosunday]

Yep babies are pretty dull. I made sure I gut out if the house most days. Went for a long walk ending up in a cafe. The rest of the time I'd alternate between being focussed on the baby and going about usual household stuff, chatting to the baby (just narrate what you are doing). But yep dullsville and I often caught myself looking at the clock and calculating when it was time gif his bath and bed!
When he becomes a toddler this will disappear as you will spend most of your time making sure he doesn't kill himself by eating/climbing/falling/drawing on the walls etc!

[pebbles3004]

I feel for you OP - I found the 4-6 month mark really difficult. My little boy was so frustrated after 2 mins of anything, and each day felt like a lifetime. I used to describe it as rotating round the stations- play mat, bouncer, jumperoo, bumbo seat. Rinse and repeat. He would be happy for a minute or two and then start whining. He wasn't old enough for most toys, but he also was not happy just laid there doing nothing. He also hated baby wearing so that wasn't an option for us either.

I second what most people are saying about getting out of the house. We went to about 2 classes a week which wasn't a lot. Outside of that I would walk and walk and walk with the pram. It was a chance for some time to myself and a relief from the whining - thankfully he loved being outside and was happy in the pram.

I can't offer much more as I really struggled with this age too, but all I can say is that it's a phase and it does get better. The jumperoo was a life saver for us FYI, it was the one thing that he was happy staying in a bit longer (maybe 5-10 mins rather than the usual 2-3) 🤣

[MajorCarolDanvers]

Sop stressing.

Then get out and about.

Go folk a walk.
Meet someone for lunch.
Go to some Baby groups.
Swimming.

[Allshallbewell2021]

This Is The Bear by Sarah Hayes - perfect book. Whatever Next by Jill Murphy, goodnight moon by Margaret Wise Brown (fantastic for a younger baby)
The cat in the hat
All the Julia Donaldsons

[Allshallbewell2021]

All these are great suggestions.
I read to my two several times a day - even when very little because that was my favourite thing. So I was building up the attention span for books so as they got older a bag of small board books would absorb them for longer and longer over time. Also repeating the same book every day - they learn it and it becomes its own reassurance. So This Is The Bear for example - great rhyming simple story was a typical favorite. And they quickly show preference for a familiar story pre speech.
Limiting screen time (was easier pre iPads/smart phones obviously) but I think it teaches a baby to manage low stimulation situations- life/school is full of moments of having to manage your own mind, and out of boredom comes many ideas and independent thought.
Also, lots of singing, music and simple baby instruments, nursery rhymes, the library to get new books, meeting up with people for your own sanity. This stage goes really quickly and very slowly which is a mystery.
I used to sing the 'grandfather clock' when putting them down to signal sleep time. They love a routine.
But you need a routine which suits you.

[SallyWD]

As my mum told me when my first was a baby - you don't need to entertain them! Boredom is good for kids. I kept my sanity by going out for walks a lot. I found time passed so painfully slowly in the house but quickly if we were out. Go out for walks, meet up with friends or family. In the house just do what you'd normally but with baby in tow. It doesn't matter if they grizzle and moan.

[Singleandproud]

When DD was little we had a fantastic provision of sure start centres. I was/am a single parent so just viewed DD as my full time job. I went through all of the activities available from the Sure start centre, library, local theatre, baby groups held at churches and made a routine from that. Unfortunately sure start centres aren't around anymore but there are hopefully library groups to go to and you'll get ideas from that.

From 6 months (or when they can clap) you can start to teach them sign language - this is super useful, DD could sign in sentences way before she could talk properly. She could tell me if she wanted water, milk, home, more, finished, food by a year and it reduced crying and frustration massively. We learnt at a Tiny Talk class but you could learn through Something Special, YouTube or just make up your own.

I love to read and found having an audio book playing throughout the day a good middle ground.

DD loved water so I'd often put a couple of inches in the bottom of the bath and let her splash around.

Also children's attention spans are roughly their age + 3 minutes so be prepared for lots of short activities.

[bussteward]

I think it’s actually the best age as they’re not yet weaning so you don’t have to bother with snacks, they’re still small enough to nap out and about, the world is still exciting so you don’t have to confront the horrors of soft play or playgrounds, and hopefully you’ve recovered a bit from birth and they’ve stopped feeding non-stop, and the random colic bouts have stopped. I found that stage like a nice cafe and walking holiday where I happened to have a small, fat companion.

[bussteward]

Just do what you want to do, with them in a sling/pram, and they sleep through some of it and when they’re awake, narrate to them what’s going on/let them look. That’s it. With my first I went for lots of walks on the seafront and South Downs, baby cinema during nap time, cafes for cake and a book, lunch with friends, museums and galleries, bus rides, whatever. Just leave the house and be a tourist in your own town, really.

[Lcb123]

You really don’t have to entertain them constantly in fact best not to. The reading sounds good. Honestly Id get on with whatever - house work, gardening, walks, shopping, out for lunch / coffe / pub, art galleries- and baby comes along. They’ll learn by being out and about and good to get used to different scenarios

[neverendinglauaundry]

When mine was that age I just took him around with me to wherever I was going and chatted to him a bit. I think peekaboo was popular and he could just about sit in a baby swing in the park. I did a lot of reading (mostly me just quietly reading while he had a feed, but we did look at baby books together). I also went to a buggy fit class which was quite fun. Really, at that age once you've fed washed and napped them you can suit yourself.

[OhThatChicken]

I signed up for baby swimming one day a week - it was only half an hour but it gave us both structure, something to do and it was the most fun thing we did together (plus the nap afterwards was her biggest nap of the week!). Literally started her at three months and her smiles were epic - it also ended up being a thing grandparents/DH wanted to come and watch - nice for a lunch/coffee afterwards too!

Otherwise, definitely try and get out with the buggy every day. Walk round the park / down the high street etc. Seeing the world is exciting and it's all stimulation. If you have money stop and get yourself a coffee/tea/cake too. Self care and a moment for you is important as well!

It's a boring time definitely. But the changes in how interactive your baby is will come incrementally every day. In the meantime it's as much about stimulating yourself as the baby!

[CaptainMum]

It's a pretty boring age. Get out as much as possible and do life as you would but with a little sidekick. It is so much more fun when sociable and has adult oriented times.

[MintJulia]

Go out and about. Does he like his buggy?

At that age I put DS in a sling and that summer we walked the ridgeway, I ate sandwiches in little village pubs, ds got used to having his nappy changed in sunshine.

I think he found the walking motion calming, and he looked at combine harvesters and stuff.

Slightly different in March but put the rain cover on the buggy and take him for walks. Canals, parks, national trust. They all have tea rooms 😊

[Rachaelrachael]

Go out! With my 1st we did a different activity most mornings such as mum & baby fitness, sing & sign, baby sensory or just meeting friends. Then we went into lockdown and it was horrendous, exactly as you describe. Having a routine and getting out every day is key.

[wibblewobbleball]

At this age just do the things you like to do, and take them with you - it's all stimulation for them and it's a good idea to get them used to napping while out and about. I've a 4 month old and on a typical day they would come about the house with me while I do my jobs and sit in the bouncer/swing chair/baby gym/a blanket on the floor with toys. When they start to grumble we move on to another place or have a cuddle for 5 mins! They come on the dog walk, for coffee with friends, to the supermarket/doctors/post office etc, and also to any place I take the toddler on her at home days. I don't do any specific classes with her as in my experience it's a waste of money as they fall asleep or need a feed at this age and it's a waste of money!

[MGee123]

Just crack on with your day and take them with you at this age. No need for baby specific activities. Get on doing jobs, go out, do whatever you fancy. In a few months you won't be able to as they won't tolerate it so definitely make the most of it now!

[Purple89]

I could have written your post OP! FTM here and I've been wondering the exact same thing.

Everyone's advice has been really good. I don't know about you but I've felt top guilty to do something for me like read a book (I love reading!) whilst she's awake. But I'm going to follow the advice above and incorporate some me time onto our day. Hope you do too!

[yikesanotherbooboo]

I would do normal jobs around the house while baby watched me and then go for a walk and perhaps go to the shops . Fit in a sleep for the baby and a few feeds and nappy changes and the day is over.